shhh it's totally june 5, i didn't miss the date
so this counts for yesterday; tough i make my own rules.
today we had a belated bday for my dad. kris n cari and sam came over and we ate stuffed portobello mushrooms and this grilled turkey thing and lots of veggies. mmm veggies. i held sam for a long while, he slept in my arms for a few hours, face down and curled in a fetal position :) i can't think of a better feeling than snuggling with a baby and feeling their warm breath on your chest. yeah so i like being mom-like! whatchu gonna do about it?
he still makes strange noises and continues to look at me funny, mostly because he looks up and goes, "wait a minute...you're not my dad...but...i'm so confused". i lookk a lot like my brother and probably sound like him too (not that i have a low voice at all or anything, more like intonnation). my mom thinks that's why he's so comfortable with me. i'm the only one, aside from his mom, that's able to get him to calm down like that. kris is even jealous heh, oops? i have the mommy touch, seriously i do. but don't abuse it! or me, or my talent...or.....uh...yeah.
fuck it's hot here. and this freaking burning laptop isn't helping me cool down. i have school tomorrow but i haven't been sleeping well so i doubt i'll sleep now. i wonder if i'll be up til 4 am again? i finished the bell jar. i didn't like the ending. it was good but, felt hm unfulfilled i guess. i seem to be reading a lot of 60s novels like that by women, writing about emotions and psychological disorders that push the norm of who a woman is supposed to be (ie the edible woman, margaret atwood). i intend to write something like that this summer. and one satire-fairytale. and one 18th century novel ala austen but not as ridiculously written. just more along the subject matter. maybe more like jane eyre? i loved jane eyre. and madame bovary.
anyway. i really can't think of anything else to write; my head is so full of shit it almost feels like i can't even see much less think. i hate it when life gets so thick you can't see reality in front of you. i should create some bullshit glasses. and they should be rainbow colored. and sound off an alert when someone full of bs comes near by moo'ng or something as equally patronizing that i can't think up right now.
i write good entries.
today we had a belated bday for my dad. kris n cari and sam came over and we ate stuffed portobello mushrooms and this grilled turkey thing and lots of veggies. mmm veggies. i held sam for a long while, he slept in my arms for a few hours, face down and curled in a fetal position :) i can't think of a better feeling than snuggling with a baby and feeling their warm breath on your chest. yeah so i like being mom-like! whatchu gonna do about it?
he still makes strange noises and continues to look at me funny, mostly because he looks up and goes, "wait a minute...you're not my dad...but...i'm so confused". i lookk a lot like my brother and probably sound like him too (not that i have a low voice at all or anything, more like intonnation). my mom thinks that's why he's so comfortable with me. i'm the only one, aside from his mom, that's able to get him to calm down like that. kris is even jealous heh, oops? i have the mommy touch, seriously i do. but don't abuse it! or me, or my talent...or.....uh...yeah.
fuck it's hot here. and this freaking burning laptop isn't helping me cool down. i have school tomorrow but i haven't been sleeping well so i doubt i'll sleep now. i wonder if i'll be up til 4 am again? i finished the bell jar. i didn't like the ending. it was good but, felt hm unfulfilled i guess. i seem to be reading a lot of 60s novels like that by women, writing about emotions and psychological disorders that push the norm of who a woman is supposed to be (ie the edible woman, margaret atwood). i intend to write something like that this summer. and one satire-fairytale. and one 18th century novel ala austen but not as ridiculously written. just more along the subject matter. maybe more like jane eyre? i loved jane eyre. and madame bovary.
anyway. i really can't think of anything else to write; my head is so full of shit it almost feels like i can't even see much less think. i hate it when life gets so thick you can't see reality in front of you. i should create some bullshit glasses. and they should be rainbow colored. and sound off an alert when someone full of bs comes near by moo'ng or something as equally patronizing that i can't think up right now.
i write good entries.