talked myself into it for so long...
I don't know why I write here, just to get my thoughts out I guess... and so in the future I can look back and see what I was feeling. Its a personal place for me to express the feelings, emotions, and random ass thoughts that pass through my mind.
Last night when I was going to bed I was thinking about me and tim. For some reason I have had trouble believing that he truly likes me again. I just can't understand it for some reason. Even though he makes me happy, and treats me like he cares, I can't seem to imagine that he really has feelings for me. I want to hear it out of his mouth, but until we have the talk he keeps saying "remember, actions speak louder than words". I was trying last night to figure out why its so hard for me to believe that he truly cares about me again. For so long after we broke up I sat and wondered why it didn't work, why did he not wanna be with me. I didn't ever fully understand until it happened to me. People who seemed to be good people, that I dated for sometime and then all of a sudden I just lost feelings for them. I realized we weren't right, and moved on. For me it was a very severe change in emotions each time, but tim has never been as harsh as me with emotions so I always assumed it was a degree less. Anyway, I finally understood, I didn't do anything we just changed and he realized he didn't love me and wasn't able to be with me because of that. What's hard for me now is that I can't imagine himm regaining feelings for me. Atleast not as much as before. I had talked myself into the fact that he just didn't see me as right for him so that I believed it. And now the only way ill understand that he cares is if I hear it from him... and even then it will take time.
Last night when I was going to bed I was thinking about me and tim. For some reason I have had trouble believing that he truly likes me again. I just can't understand it for some reason. Even though he makes me happy, and treats me like he cares, I can't seem to imagine that he really has feelings for me. I want to hear it out of his mouth, but until we have the talk he keeps saying "remember, actions speak louder than words". I was trying last night to figure out why its so hard for me to believe that he truly cares about me again. For so long after we broke up I sat and wondered why it didn't work, why did he not wanna be with me. I didn't ever fully understand until it happened to me. People who seemed to be good people, that I dated for sometime and then all of a sudden I just lost feelings for them. I realized we weren't right, and moved on. For me it was a very severe change in emotions each time, but tim has never been as harsh as me with emotions so I always assumed it was a degree less. Anyway, I finally understood, I didn't do anything we just changed and he realized he didn't love me and wasn't able to be with me because of that. What's hard for me now is that I can't imagine himm regaining feelings for me. Atleast not as much as before. I had talked myself into the fact that he just didn't see me as right for him so that I believed it. And now the only way ill understand that he cares is if I hear it from him... and even then it will take time.