Damn love... 2.5 years! and he;s still there?
Ok. so this is something that has been bothering me. I think it is unhealthy. I still think about tim.. ALOT. when i am sober I am able to keep it covered up mostly, and not talk about it and think about it too much.. But when I get drunk.. It all comes out. I just want to tell everyone about how much he meant to me, and how much i love him. It is sick. It makes me sick. I always want to call him when i am drunk, thank GOD no one gave me there phone the other night. I havent talked to him in.. over 6 months. that would be realy bad if i had called him. but anyways.. I had a really weird dream this afternoon when I was dreaming. there was way more to my dream then this.. but this is the part that I can interpret.
Dream: I was driving with someone on the freeway, and I could see all the cars behind me. Kind of like I was in the back of a stationwagen. We had just gone around a huge turn in the freeway. and everyone was zipping really fast. There was a truck a little behind us, and all of a sudden out of the bushes this Beetle comes out of nowhere merging onto the freeway! it runs into the semi-truck and sends it like flipping through the air. Everyone behind us is like swerving and crashing. anyways, its a big crash. We end up having to pull over and help everyone. So seriously.. the Beetle looked like.. no one could have survived it. It was like turning into liquid. Weird. So all of a sudden, tim like stands up out of the beetle and just walks away. so I am totally stressing out becuase of the crash, and I had lost these two little girls that I was watching, and becuase of the accident i was not able to go back and find them and get them. it was the second time i forgot about them and left them behind in my dream too. seriously.. crazy dream.
Interpretation: So tim will like randomly pop into my brain when i am drunk. Sometimes he doesnt, sometimes he does. anyways, he is like the beetle. He just randomly comes into my head and causes a huge catastrophe! Becuase not only am I a mess, but everyone around me is annoyed, and sad, and worried about me. believe me.. its a huge catastrophe! lol. I end up crying for hours and hours. but yet, he is not worried about, not affected at all, he just walks away from it without any damage done to his life or psyche. FUCKER! lol
Anyways, I am not sure that I was crying about him the other night. but since I know he was mentioned earlier in the night, even if it was alot earlier, i can think of anything else that would make me cry. It could have been that Nikki was so mean to me, lol, jk. or that I felt bad taht I was being such an annoying person and puking everywhere :(
Anwyas, ok... Goodnight my loves! hope you enjoyed my boring dream. but it was really weird. I cant even explain it. the rest is unexplainable so I wont try. lol