(no subject)
Holly Shit! Dude, Im gald I even still have this thing! Its been like forever. Ok, whats happend: I found my birthmom. We met on my birthday. We exchanged numbers and everything. I was so excited I found my mommy! We talked for like a week, and everything and I told her I wanted to come live with her. She said give it a year and I wanted to too. You know, finish 8th grade here. So, she writes me this e-mail one day saying she doesnt wanna comunicate anymore. Disconect everything because either me or k-mom was suposably liying to her. Thats shit! But thats what she thought. I talked to her that night. I was so upset. We worked things out. k-mom sent her an email. It said she wanted me to go live with her now. So, my birthmom called and talked to her and said it was practicly ok. I talk to her. (and now at the time, this whole shit was going on. I had to take medicine or I would get sent to this crazy hospital! I tole them no. She said I needed to take it, but I knew that wasnt what she believed in. She told me that no one should be on medication like that, that it wasnt right) so I told her no, I wasnt going to taKe it. She told me she had to go after that and called back 10 minutes later asking to talk to k-mom. I hand the phone. Once again, she doesnt wanna have contact with me or anyone. She said she couldnt handle me. So... I wrote her an e-mail from my point of veiw yesturday. She hasent written back...
My parents, or, I should say k-mom, thinks Im crazy! And she thinks because I hate her so much, that its going to go away by medicine. And its nothing that she has done to me recently or anything like that. I just really hate her! As a mother, as a friend, and just her! She is a 50 year old prep! We are totally different. She wont buy me clothes from Hot Topic. Why? Because SHE doesnt like it. Like I give a shit about what she thinks about anything! Shes a stupid bitch. I could care less if she dies right now. I swear on my life. I wouldnt even cry, not even one tear. It would be a waste of my time. And if it wasnt for the law and the exsitence of jail, she, or my "father and brother" wouldnt even be here right now...
I wish I was with my birthmom. She wants to get a house out in the country, we wouldnt have any neighbors. There would be an ever lasting green covering the land our house was built over and on and on it would go. Me and my sisters, Sam, Maggie, and Gillian (all half sisters), would do chores in the house, with the windows open, birds singing from the trees outside. There would be no men of anyknd, not even boys. There would be no pets in the house to clean up after. Mom would cook one of those homecooked meals my sisters tell me about. (We would actually have a meal that was cooked, breakfast that was cooked too! Instead finding your own thing for every meal like we do here. We dont even eat together) We would do our homework quietly in our rooms. And sometimes, I would do Maggie's homework when she needed help, but I would finish it because it was so easy to me. We would get straight A's. Mom would be pround. When getting dark, we would all go out in the feilds to our little spot and watch the sunset. Then go back inside, brush our teeth, and go to bed. I know its not going to be that way, and its not entirly what I expect. I know we will have hard times, and it wont be so perfect no matter what. But at least I will be home. I will have an actual family, one who I am truly related to. I will be home...
I have Bipolar. Its what the doctor diagnosed me with. I guess thats why I havent been going to school. But I dont see how the deseise afects not going to school. I just dont wanna, so, I dont. Bipolar is when your moods can change so fast. Like, one minute, you could be hella happy, and then the other fucking sad as hell. I mean really, it works that way. And there is no playin like that. It was true. But I dont think I need drugs for it. God damn, I fucking HATE people! I wish 80% of the whole world of people would just die, like that. It would be great. Only the meaningful people will be living, no meaningless lives, unnesassary to walk, eat, or even breathe up the fresh air.
Anyways, Im gunna go. Its to late to call marry, but Im going to tomorrow. And I got one hell of a prize coming for me at the door.It costed 28?? dollars, and my parents dont know about it. Talk about a suprise, and a huge ass grounding!
My parents, or, I should say k-mom, thinks Im crazy! And she thinks because I hate her so much, that its going to go away by medicine. And its nothing that she has done to me recently or anything like that. I just really hate her! As a mother, as a friend, and just her! She is a 50 year old prep! We are totally different. She wont buy me clothes from Hot Topic. Why? Because SHE doesnt like it. Like I give a shit about what she thinks about anything! Shes a stupid bitch. I could care less if she dies right now. I swear on my life. I wouldnt even cry, not even one tear. It would be a waste of my time. And if it wasnt for the law and the exsitence of jail, she, or my "father and brother" wouldnt even be here right now...
I wish I was with my birthmom. She wants to get a house out in the country, we wouldnt have any neighbors. There would be an ever lasting green covering the land our house was built over and on and on it would go. Me and my sisters, Sam, Maggie, and Gillian (all half sisters), would do chores in the house, with the windows open, birds singing from the trees outside. There would be no men of anyknd, not even boys. There would be no pets in the house to clean up after. Mom would cook one of those homecooked meals my sisters tell me about. (We would actually have a meal that was cooked, breakfast that was cooked too! Instead finding your own thing for every meal like we do here. We dont even eat together) We would do our homework quietly in our rooms. And sometimes, I would do Maggie's homework when she needed help, but I would finish it because it was so easy to me. We would get straight A's. Mom would be pround. When getting dark, we would all go out in the feilds to our little spot and watch the sunset. Then go back inside, brush our teeth, and go to bed. I know its not going to be that way, and its not entirly what I expect. I know we will have hard times, and it wont be so perfect no matter what. But at least I will be home. I will have an actual family, one who I am truly related to. I will be home...
I have Bipolar. Its what the doctor diagnosed me with. I guess thats why I havent been going to school. But I dont see how the deseise afects not going to school. I just dont wanna, so, I dont. Bipolar is when your moods can change so fast. Like, one minute, you could be hella happy, and then the other fucking sad as hell. I mean really, it works that way. And there is no playin like that. It was true. But I dont think I need drugs for it. God damn, I fucking HATE people! I wish 80% of the whole world of people would just die, like that. It would be great. Only the meaningful people will be living, no meaningless lives, unnesassary to walk, eat, or even breathe up the fresh air.
Anyways, Im gunna go. Its to late to call marry, but Im going to tomorrow. And I got one hell of a prize coming for me at the door.It costed 28?? dollars, and my parents dont know about it. Talk about a suprise, and a huge ass grounding!