i hope you all read this
i'd like to apologize to gabby, laura, ashley, and christine if iwas a bitch yesterday. my day was obviously ruined, and i was in a fucking bad/let down mood.
sorry gabby that i got really irratable, and for hardly even speaking, and if it seemed like i was pissed at you, i wasnt i was pissed at other things. i <3 you
sorry ash if i seemed pissed at you too. i think we all know why i was mad, but jsut in case, it wasnt you guys. and sorry for being really bitchy today too, i was still pretty upset about last night, none of it was b/c of you. i <3 you.
by the time i saw you christine i obviously told you what was wrong so i wasnt even being all that bitchy then, but if i was, sorry, i was jsut mad about earlier. i <3 you
andd finally, sorry laura, we were supposed to hang out but stuff went wrong, it got late, and i was way to pissed to have fun. i <3 you
and sorry linda for not being strong enough to deal with shit. i regret every part of it and if i could go back id throw away your fucking cigaretts even if you made me feel so bad i might cry. i felt like such shit realizing i let you smoke one, and i almost cried telling it. i don't know why i acted like it was ok. im fucknig pissed and i should have let you know, but i didnt. i dont know what i was afraid of, but fuck it.
and to you: and fuck our little deal. i knew it would all be lies but i agreed anyway becasue im too stupid to tihnk of anything else. your not getting away with anything, im not that much of a blind dumbass, you dont fucking know what you will want in the future, you obviously do care about some things you fake, your selfish, your rude, your a self centered liar who tihnks shes the only one with problems. wake up, no one wants to hear this shit, how everyone ha issues so shut up and deal with it. i dont either. im not saying that. im not even saying " people have it so much worse so you have no reason to be sad" im saying stop acting like you are the only one. stop with th fucking pessimistic attitude and realize EVERYTHING is not fucked up. you've got nothing going for you? it sounds cliche, but try looknig on the birghter side. fuck. i have shit that depressses me, and always will, but living my life around it is basically me deciding i want my life to suck. do what you want but you will be sorry. not you are sorry, you will be. as in thats not for you to determine now. so good luck you will need it. i'm so sick of all this bullshit, but ideal with it anyway. not becasue you ask me to, becasue iknow you dont want me to, but becasue i dont want to know i could have tried and didnt. please do hate me if yoiu would like to. by all means. but fuck what you think of me becasue i'm not going to devalue myself becasue of your opinion on me. i did feel temporary worthlessness when you said you didnt care about anyone including me, but fuck that. i am not who you say i am, now i feel so weak knowing i felt liek shit becasue of you. do what you want, and i'll do what i want. beleive that next chance i get your cigaretts are gonig ni the garbage and you can full force slap me but i'd feel fine. my weekend it ruined.