nobody need read this, really
The feeling started creeping up on me when I had the ticket in my hand. I could bloody well go off and find 'er, and then what? Said the words, she did, but only 'cause she wouldn't have to deal with me bein' around for her to actually deal with
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I'm not saying you should go right on after her, but for all it took for Buffy to actually say those three little words, don't you think she meant it? It wasn't just as you were dying, it was just as you were getting closer.
You're her champion, and I say that not because you saved the world, which is what you might associate it with, but because you stuck it out. You were ALWAYS there for her when she needed you, and when she had no one else to turn to, she had you.
So, maybe, when she looked into your eyes in that cave, she didnt think she needed to reward you, she just realized that she couldnt move on without you knowing how she felt, especially if it was the end. She saw her chance to be honest with you, she finally meant it enough to say it out loud.
Don't even try being insecure enough to believe it might have been her lying, she was generally pretty honest with you. She had no reason to stretch the truth.
So maybe you shouldn't be with her now, but maybe you should, and maybe it was only for that time, but wasn't it everything to you? Even if you never see her again, you still have the past...
And whatever your purpose is here, you'll find it. It might take a while, but you should know by now that almost everything that happens has its reasons, which are generally not just to piss you off.
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