(no subject)
Hey everyone, how's life?
Yesterday in math class mrs schott tried making me look like a dumb ass infront of the whole class again by laughing at me and saying that she might be seeing me again next. So that really pissed me off. She always trys to get me down about my grade in that class it was pretty bad but it was passing,i think she gets a kick out of it. I dono i think shes pretty damn bad teacher. Anyways spring break was interesting ended up helpin out a couple of friends-Dunes-. Yeah,wrist has been botherin me but i got back to the docs soon so i'll see whats up. I'm starting to worry about football next year. I try not to think about but i cant help it,its pretty much my whole life and i put all i've got into it. I know its pretty sad. Some of you that dont play sports probly wont have any idea why im worried about it so i'll try and explain. Imagine having one thing in the life, and one thing only, that you're good at. And then throw in a messed up life backround. So pretty much half of your life you've lived through that sport to escape from your real life. It likes dreamin. Thats pretty much how it is. People are lifting harder and taking proteins and stuff and getting stronger so in order for me to live in my dream i gotta get stronger and fast.
Im not too worried about i know i can get stronger if my wrist holds up. I hope to god it does.
SoCo concert sunday that should be pretty sweet.Lookin to do a lot of partying this week. I gotta watch myself though cause i definatly do not wanna turn out like my dad. Even though i love him and all.
Been thinkin about carreer and im pretty sure college football isnt gonna hold up anymore and i wanna go to college but theres also i side that wants to follow my brother and go into the marine corps. I dono its odd but i guess i'll cross that bridge when i get there.So i was talking about that girl and i missed out on that again,not the first time with her,but this time i cant say i didnt try. I tried a little bit to late but i cant keep thinkin about it,at lest i wont be beating myself up thinkin about what coulda been now. Things are lookin up im holding myself a little higher around the halls lately. Not that i've had any reason not too,i just feel more comfortable with myself now. I wish i could change some things in the future but then again i dont think there's many things i'd change maybe my dad runnin out on me and mom and my wrist. Thats it though all bad things have their positives. My dad and i have been talkin a lot more lately and i like it,though my mom and i are becoming more distant i feel. I would hate to think so though. After tomorrow only 8 more weeks left and im pumped.Summer is gonna be kick ass this year. I'm road trippin with the guys for sure and im positive that there will be some kick ass parties. I'm bankin on my junior year and thats really what it all comes down to for me. I think i'll finally have a steady girlfriend sometime that year and hopefully i'll be starting varisty. Thats all im bankin on but i feel it. Something good has got to be comin my way pretty soon ya know. God for me is touchy subject right now, i dont know if he exists,i would like to believe that he does.And for the most part i believe he does, but i guess i just dont understand why he's planned my life out like this. Im a pretty good kid from all my experiences i guess.Maybe thats why,to keep me straight. Im looking to settle down and i know that sounds really funny/retarded but i am. I only wish i was this way about 5 months ago and all my worrys would be gone. I know i missed out on someone that i felt matched my personality like no other person i've never known. But i also know there's other. Plus hey i can always say look chris youve got two more years maybe she'll be there down the road. Who knows. Overall i'm pretty midline happy and not too sad i've got some pretty great friends and im making more which i think i've really needed to do. My only hope is that it last and that my walls dont crumble like they have so many times before. Things are looking up and im trying not to look back.
Pretty long ass entry but it feels good.
Friday in 2 hours.
Always hold you as model.
Nite all-much love
i wrote this last night but my comp was stupid and didnt let me post
Yesterday in math class mrs schott tried making me look like a dumb ass infront of the whole class again by laughing at me and saying that she might be seeing me again next. So that really pissed me off. She always trys to get me down about my grade in that class it was pretty bad but it was passing,i think she gets a kick out of it. I dono i think shes pretty damn bad teacher. Anyways spring break was interesting ended up helpin out a couple of friends-Dunes-. Yeah,wrist has been botherin me but i got back to the docs soon so i'll see whats up. I'm starting to worry about football next year. I try not to think about but i cant help it,its pretty much my whole life and i put all i've got into it. I know its pretty sad. Some of you that dont play sports probly wont have any idea why im worried about it so i'll try and explain. Imagine having one thing in the life, and one thing only, that you're good at. And then throw in a messed up life backround. So pretty much half of your life you've lived through that sport to escape from your real life. It likes dreamin. Thats pretty much how it is. People are lifting harder and taking proteins and stuff and getting stronger so in order for me to live in my dream i gotta get stronger and fast.
Im not too worried about i know i can get stronger if my wrist holds up. I hope to god it does.
SoCo concert sunday that should be pretty sweet.Lookin to do a lot of partying this week. I gotta watch myself though cause i definatly do not wanna turn out like my dad. Even though i love him and all.
Been thinkin about carreer and im pretty sure college football isnt gonna hold up anymore and i wanna go to college but theres also i side that wants to follow my brother and go into the marine corps. I dono its odd but i guess i'll cross that bridge when i get there.So i was talking about that girl and i missed out on that again,not the first time with her,but this time i cant say i didnt try. I tried a little bit to late but i cant keep thinkin about it,at lest i wont be beating myself up thinkin about what coulda been now. Things are lookin up im holding myself a little higher around the halls lately. Not that i've had any reason not too,i just feel more comfortable with myself now. I wish i could change some things in the future but then again i dont think there's many things i'd change maybe my dad runnin out on me and mom and my wrist. Thats it though all bad things have their positives. My dad and i have been talkin a lot more lately and i like it,though my mom and i are becoming more distant i feel. I would hate to think so though. After tomorrow only 8 more weeks left and im pumped.Summer is gonna be kick ass this year. I'm road trippin with the guys for sure and im positive that there will be some kick ass parties. I'm bankin on my junior year and thats really what it all comes down to for me. I think i'll finally have a steady girlfriend sometime that year and hopefully i'll be starting varisty. Thats all im bankin on but i feel it. Something good has got to be comin my way pretty soon ya know. God for me is touchy subject right now, i dont know if he exists,i would like to believe that he does.And for the most part i believe he does, but i guess i just dont understand why he's planned my life out like this. Im a pretty good kid from all my experiences i guess.Maybe thats why,to keep me straight. Im looking to settle down and i know that sounds really funny/retarded but i am. I only wish i was this way about 5 months ago and all my worrys would be gone. I know i missed out on someone that i felt matched my personality like no other person i've never known. But i also know there's other. Plus hey i can always say look chris youve got two more years maybe she'll be there down the road. Who knows. Overall i'm pretty midline happy and not too sad i've got some pretty great friends and im making more which i think i've really needed to do. My only hope is that it last and that my walls dont crumble like they have so many times before. Things are looking up and im trying not to look back.
Pretty long ass entry but it feels good.
Friday in 2 hours.
Always hold you as model.
Nite all-much love
i wrote this last night but my comp was stupid and didnt let me post