Waiting 7c/7

[soulsrant]

Well, I'm back again with another chapter. I hope that you all like it.

Title: Waiting

Author: Soulseeker Rating: NC17 for language, slash, and dark theme.

Summary: Can Spike go on without his love?

Pairing: Spike/Xander implied. Spike/Angel

Part: 7c/7

Rating: NC-17 for adult themes, language and sexual content

Feedback: Yes, it gives me the warm and fuzzys.

Disclaimers: I owe nothing. I just got a new job and I don't even get paid until the next month.

Previously in Waiting:

Spike was trying to ride out the pain. God, it felt like he grabbed an exposed wire bare handed while standing in water. He couldn’t move without pain, hell, he couldn’t even think without agony shooting throughout his body. He could only hope that it wouldn’t last long this time and that no one saw him. He didn’t want to worry anyone with his problem. Suddenly something hard and heavy slammed into his shoulder with a teeth jarring rattle. Spike let out one agonizing, high pitched cry before he lost consciousness.

*********************************

Angel flinched at the hoarse scream. He’d just barely touched Spike’s sleeve when it happened. Suddenly, he was knocked aside and he stared up into Giles’s angry face. Only it ceased to be Giles. The vampire was staring straight into the face of a very pissed off Ripper.

“What did you do to him?” the older man demanded. He gathered Spike’s limp form and cradled him protectively, all the while shooting daggers at Angel. The vampire happened to glance at Wesley and noticed the embarrassed flush. Angel quickly put together Wesley’s blush and Giles’s overreaction and instantly came to the right conclusion.

“You told him I slept with him?!” he squeaked out. He couldn’t believe that Wesley told on him.

“I . . . well . . . you see . . . “ Wesley stammered and then fell silent. He busied himself with looking at everything but the other men in the room, the slight blush deepening in his cheeks.

“I repeat, what did you do to Spike?” Ripper’s voice was hard and angry. He wanted to know what happened to his son and he wanted to know now.

“I didn’t do anything to him! I swear, I only touched his sleeve and then he screamed.”

Ripper still glared at him with suspicion, mistrust and disbelief. Angel didn’t really blame him, the truth sounded lame even to him. Ripper gathered Spike’s limp form even closer, stroking the white blond hair in comfort. Angel felt another surge of jealousy. He should be the one holding Spike, not Ripper. He should be the one comforting and taking care of his Childe, not the human. But, the vampire had enough self-preservation not to make a move to take Spike from Ripper. Not if he didn’t want a stake sticking out of him.

“You must’ve done something else! That was a scream of pain we heard and now he’s unconscious. He wouldn’t be unconscious from a mere touch. Now what did you do to him?”

“I’m telling you the truth, Giles! I went looking for him and found him here on the floor, already in pain. I touched his shirt and he screamed. It must be the chip malfunctioning again.”

“The chip’s malfunctioning? What’s causing it? When did this start? How often are these attacks?” The questions came in rapid-fire precision. Ripper was gone and Giles was back, concern written all over his face. Apparently, it wasn’t only the girls that Xander and Spike hid the truth from.

“I don’t know what’s causing the chip to zap him or how long it’s been going on. Spike didn’t tell me that. He only told me that it’s been going off for no reason at odd times of the day and in no particular pattern. And even that I had to drag out of him. It had to have been going on for awhile because Spike said that they didn’t want to worry Buffy and the others. Xander was trying to find Riley so that they could try and get the chip taken out, but he died before he could get very far. And as for how often, I really can’t say. Until the last few weeks, Spike pretty much spent all of his time alone in his room, so I can’t say for sure if he’s had any lately. I’m terrified that one day this fucking piece of metal’s going to finally dust him.”

Giles looked down at the vampire in his arms. Even unconscious, he looked like he was still in pain. Before he got to know Spike, the Watcher had been glad for the chip. Whether or not Spike’s insane plans worked, people died all around him. That chip had saved countless lives and provided the Scoobies with a powerful ally. Next to Buffy, Spike was their strongest warrior. Then, as Giles began to know the bleached blond better, the more uneasy he felt about that little piece of technology. Yes, Spike couldn’t kill, but he couldn’t defend himself against humans, either.

The Watcher remembered the countless times that Spike had shown up for meetings, scraped and bruised, huddling in a corner far away from the other humans in the room. Sometimes it would be an hour or more before the wounded vampire became brave enough to join them. They always gave him his space when he came close, knowing that a wrong move towards him would have him flinching in fear and scuttling back into his little corner.

After Spike moved in with Xander after Buffy’s ‘death’, those occurrences became fewer and further between. Giles realized then that it was only because Xander and Spike arrived together; Xander provided protection from humans and Spike provided it from demons. The blond vampire also took very good care of Dawn. It seems very wrong right now, that Spike has come so far in changing himself, yet he’s still being punished for his past transgressions.

Standing up, Giles still cradled Spike’s body tenderly, the vampire’s body totally limp, head lolling to the side. “Let’s put him to bed. And then after he awakens, we’ll all have nice long chat about keeping secrets, shall we?” The Watcher’s voice was firm and brooked no arguments. Angel silently led the way, followed by Giles with Spike and Wesley brought up the rear.

“Haven’t you been feeding him properly, Angel? The boy hardly weighs anything at all,” Giles wanted to know, slightly disturbed by his light burden.

Angel slightly smiled at the phase, ‘the boy’. If only going by appearances, then yes, Spike was a boy to Giles. “It was all I could do to get three bags a day down him. Believe me, he’s gained some weight since he’s been here.”

The formally silent Wesley finally spoke. “It’s true, Giles. When Spike came to us, he was a little more then an animated skeleton. He’s fleshed out a bit now. Do you suppose the chip has something to do with the reason that he’s unable to gain much weight?”

As Wesley and Giles began an animated discussion about the chip, Angel continued to lead the way to Spike’s bedroom. He was also worried that there might be a connection between the chip and Spike’s appetite. It was true that grief did most of the damage, but what about before? He knew that the switch from human blood to animal had been difficult for his Childe and he couldn’t help but wonder if the chip also had something to do with it. Maybe Fred and Willow could figure it out.

Tucking Spike securely under the covers, Angel and Giles waited for the blond to wake up. Wesley went downstairs to man the phones and run interference in case the others got back before Spike woke up. It turned out to be a long wait.

************************************

Spike felt like he was floating in a thick syrup of pain. Everything hurt as he fought his way back to the surface. Maybe, if he was awake, it wouldn’t hurt so much. Struggling against the current trying to drag him down further, Spike managed to open his eyes a little. A bright light stabbed his eyes and he quickly shut them with a whimper of pain. He heard muffled voices near him.

“I think his eyes are too sensitive for the lamp. Angel, see if you can find a candle and heat up some blood for him, please.”

There was a click that sounded as loud as a gunshot to the hurting vampire. It had been Giles’s voice that he’d heard and he sensed that Angel was nearby. Spike wondered what happened. Had he been in an accident? The immense pain made him feel like a semi-truck ran over him. A short time later, there was a loud, grating scratch and the sharp smell of sulfur. A quiet, gentle voice spoke to him.

“Spike? It’s Giles. Can you open your eyes for me? It’s safe now, the bright light’s gone. Please try for me, Spike.”

Spike felt complied to obey the soft command, knowing that if he didn’t, he’d be dragged back down to that sea of hurt. Giles and Angel watched as the pale lashes fluttered open, and then the blue eyes shied away from the soft yellow candle light. Angel moved it a bit further away and Spike finally looked up the two men staring down at him.

“What happened?” the vampire whispered, except that it sounded like he’d shouted to his own ears. The two men above him exchanged glances. Angel was the one who spoke.

“I found you on the floor in the training room. You were in a lot of pain. Did the chip misfire?”

The memories flooded Spike’s mind. He’d gone there to start working out again, to get back up to full strength. He hadn’t been there but for a few minutes before the pain in his head slammed into him harder and faster then it ever had before. He’d fallen to his knees and the rest of the attack had been blurry.

“Yeah. Headache. ‘Member now.” Spike kept his words short and to the point. Any head movement made him dizzy and nauseous. Angel brought the cup of warmed blood towards him and Spike had to swallow heavily to remove the bile that threatened to rise. He quickly covered his nose and mouth, squeezing his eyes shut against the sticky overly-sweet smell of blood.

“Come on, Spike. You need to feed. You’ve been out for over twelve hours.” Again, Angel attempted to feed Spike. The sick vampire, still holding one hand over his mouth, managed to block his Sire’s offering with the other.

“I drink that, I’ll throw up,” the blond managed to speak around his hand. The cup instantly disappeared.

Giles started to ask questions in his research mode, seeking the answers to the maelstrom of questions crowding his mind. He understood not telling the girls, but he at least should’ve been informed of the situation. Even if he couldn’t help, he could’ve still lent any support that they needed.

“How long have you been having these attacks?” Giles voice was firm and the tone clearly said that he was going to be obeyed or else.

At first, Spike didn’t want to answer. It wasn’t anyone’s business but his about his headaches. He was dealing with them, coping with the attacks all on his own. And until recently he’d been doing a fairly decent job of it. But one look at Angel’s and Giles’s faces, and he just knew that the two of them would just nag at him until they had what they wanted. Bloody busybodies, the both of them.

“They started somewhere around the time that bitch Glory came to town.”

Giles was stunned. Two years? Spike has had these attacks for two years?

“Did you injure your head or did Glory do something to you?”

“Neither. Just hit me out of the blue.”

“Why didn’t you say something before?”

Spike gave a small shrug. The pain was fading now, so movement was possible. “Wasn’t exactly friends, ya’ know. Just figured that the chip was still settling down or something. How was I to know that it wasn’t working right? Didn’t exactly have a how-to manual with me, now did I?”

“Are they all this bad?”

“No. Mostly mild headaches, didn’t have many like this. And before you ask, no, I didn’t say anything when we all became chums. Sunnydale was going to Hell in a hand basket and the last thing anybody needed was to be worrying over the likes of me.”

The human was sadden to realize that Spike was right. Between patrolling with the Buffy-bot, the shop, school, jobs and taking care of Dawn, everyone had been overwhelmed. And they all had still been dealing with their grief over Buffy’s death. The Watcher came to the conclusion that Spike knew that if he added his headaches to the mix, it would’ve been too much for them to have dealt with. Once again, Spike had been taking care of all of them by not allowing them to worry about a malfunctioning chip.

“I’m sorry, Spike. I’m sorry that we hadn’t realized how much you were doing for all of us. I’m deeply ashamed at my previous treatment of you and hope that you’ll forgive me. We should’ve been the one taking care of you and I’m for one am very grateful for all the things you’ve done for us. I realize now that I should’ve said something a lot earlier then this.” Giles voice was deeply sincere and full of concern.

Spike just stared at the Watcher in shock. He was finally able to stutter out, “There’s . . . there’s nothing to forgive. It was a bad time for all of us and you did take care of me by making sure that there was always blood available and by letting me be a part of your family. That’s something I’ll always treasure.”

Tearfully, the human and vampire embraced each other as a jealous Angel sat nearby. The dark haired vampire wondered if that feeling would ever go away. Spike wasn’t his, might never be, and the blond had every right to hug anybody he wanted too. But that didn’t mean that Angel would have to like it. He noticed the deep, purple circles under the pale vampire’s eyes, the lines of exhaustion on the smooth, boyish forehead. Apparently having those migraines took a lot out of the formerly hyper vampire and Angel was going to see that he rested. Even if he had to sit on him. It was what any good Sire would do. He waited until they broke apart before speaking.

“Spike, I know that you’re still tired, so I want you to go to sleep now. No arguments. The girls aren’t leaving for a few more days, so you still have plenty of time to visit.”

It was a testament of Spike’s illness that the bleach blond didn’t argue. He simply murmured a quiet good night and pulled the covers over his head, blocking out all light. He was still achy, but knew from experience that sleep would be the best medicine. The initial pain had left, leaving behind a dull throb. He drifted off to the rhythmic pounding in his head.

Angel and Giles met up with Buffy and the others just as they were returning from their day out. They’d spent the day touring sound stages, amusement parks and other typical touristy attractions. They were loaded down with tacky souvenirs and still giggling about their day. The group drew up short when they spied Giles and Angel quietly speaking with each other. One look at the serious faces and Dawn came to the correct conclusion.

“What’s wrong with Spike?” Her voice was full of anxiety and fear.

A little startled, the men glanced up at the suddenly solemn faces. They’d been discussing what to tell the others about Spike’s condition. They both came to the conclusion that Buffy might stand the best chance of finding Riley. Her former intimacy with the Initiative soldier might open doors that they couldn’t. And they’d decided to approach Willow and Fred with the problem as well. Maybe their two resident geniuses could come up with some answers together. However, they hadn’t planned on telling them quite like this.

Being cast in the parental role, Giles naturally took the lead. He didn’t really didn’t think that Angel would be sensitive enough in explaining it. “Spike’s fine now. Well . . . better then he was earlier today. It seems as though Spike’s chip has been malfunctioning. He’s resting now and he shouldn’t be disturbed for any reason.”

That last sentence was directed at Dawn. Knowing her as well as he did, Giles was confident that the first thought running through the teen’s mind was to find her friend. Spike needed sleep more then a concerned Dawn hovering about him. And, knowing Spike as well as he did, the Watcher had no doubt that he would downplay the symptoms and causes as to not upset Dawn any further then she already was. Giles figured that the vampire had done quite enough of that in the past.

“What . . . what do you mean by . . . by malfunctioning?” came Tara’s timid question. Giles smiled at her, causing the young lady to blush and drop her eyes. She was still painfully shy, but a year or two ago, she never would’ve put herself in the spotlight by initializing a conversation.

“I mean that it’s been going off for no reason. He’s been having problems for the past two years, ranging from a simple headache to full blown migraines. When an attack is sever enough, he’s unable to feed. We believe that that’s one of the reasons for his inability to maintain a healthy weight. Angel and I were just discussing possible solutions to this problem.”

Gunn spoke for all of them. “What do you need us to do?”

Angel smiled. With everyone helping, they should have a solution soon. He hoped. Again, Giles took the lead.

“Buffy, we were hoping that you might have better success in finding Riley. Spike indicated that Xander had been the only one aware of the situation and was trying to contact him. Unfortunately, Xander died before he could get very far. Maybe the fact that the two of you were . . . involved . . . might provide you with the necessary leeway in finding him. Willow, Fred, perhaps the two of you could find some way in turning off the chip ourselves. It is a scientific problem, perhaps you could find a scientific solution that hadn’t been tried before. Willow, you will have to fill in Fred with as much as you know about the chip, how it works and so forth. Cordelia, Wesley, Tara, try to find a magical way to dispose or turn the chip off. The rest of us will help where we can. I feel that it’s still best that we keep to our departure schedule. We can keep in touch by phones and computers.”

Just before dismissing everyone, he added, “Oh, one more thing. Since Spike had kept this a secret for so long, I don’t want anyone to make any additional fuss over him. Spike’s been crippled enough by this chip, any overt displays of sympathies or mothering him will only make him feel worse. Now, you all have your assignments, lets get to work.”

Angel took a lost looking teen aside. Dawn needed to feel more useful then as a research assistant and he had just the job for her. Besides, maybe the girl would soften up a bit towards him. She’d been at the hotel for nearly a week and Angel could tell that Dawn still hadn’t forgiven him for taking Spike away from her. She’d told him that Spike looked better, but it had been said grudgingly.

“Dawn, I was wondering if you could do me a big favor. Spike’s still asleep, but could you go an keep an eye on him and maybe get him some blood when he wakes up? He hasn’t fed since early this morning and we might be able to get some nourishment down him now that he’s rested some. If you’re real quiet, you can sit in his room, but try not to wake him. This attack really did a number on him. Is that ok with you?”

The teen happily nodded and made her way upstairs to take her post. Despite what Buffy might say, she could be quiet when it was really, really, really important. And Spike was really, really, really important to her.

*********************

Dawn had just begun to doze off when she noticed a movement coming from the bed. She’d been sitting in a chair for over five hours, watching a still lump of blankets and remembering all the good times she and Spike had had. At last, there was some action as Spike began to slowly stretch, pale arms peeking out of the covers. Dawn raced to the kitchen to microwave a cup of blood. She’d just made her careful way back up to the room when Spike finally and completely woke up. Well, not completely.

The vampire was looking around a bit dazed, not really registering where he was or who was with him. Dawn thrust the warm cup into his hands and Spike automatically sipped at it. The warmth chased the rest of the grogginess out of his head and he glanced into Dawn’s eyes. They only held concern and sympathy. Hoping that it was just a normal and everyday emotion instead of knowledge of the misbehaving chip, Spike tentatively said, “Evening, Pet. Did you have fun today? See any big celebrities? Any cute guys that I’ll have to threaten with disembowelment?”

“How’s your head?”

Ah, so much for trying to fool his ‘Bit. She always got right to the heart of the matter.

“So, Angel ratted me out, eh?”

“Actually, it was Giles. So, feeling any better?”

“Much, thanks for asking”

There was a long silence. Dawn was aching to ask a million questions, but remembered what Giles had said. Spike was just grateful to have the whole subject dropped. And then Dawn asked a bombshell of a question.

“You’re not coming home with us, are you? You’re going to stay here, aren’t you? Don’t you love us anymore?”

Oh, God. Spike’s chest clinched in dread at the teary sound in Dawn’s voice. He really didn’t want to have this conversation. He’d hoped that Angel would just announce that he was staying put, no arguments. That way, he could blame the other vampire and Dawn wouldn’t hate him. Spike stared into his empty, red streaked cup, not wanting to see the hurt disappointment in Lil’ Bit’s eyes.

“I . . . I can’t go back Pet. At least for now. The hurt’s too new, too fresh. It still feels like my heart’s bleeding. I’m not ready to finally to say good-bye yet and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to face that . . . grave.” Spike looked up, blue eyes swimming in unshed tears. “Don’t you ever think that I don’t love you. You’re very important to me, don’t know what I’ll do without you in my unlife. But going back right now would be like letting go completely and I just can’t do that now. Do you understand? Please, please don’t hate me. I don’t think I could take that.”

“Oh, Spike. I can never hate you.” And with tears streaming out of her own eyes, she threw herself into the vampire’s arms. They hugged and cried until they wore themselves out with it. After a few sniffles and blown noses, they walked downstairs together, talking about ordinary things.

Reaching the lobby, Spike felt like a bug under a microscope with the way everybody stopped in their tracks and stared at him. Thankfully, it only lasted a few moments before everyone resumed their tasks, no one making any comments on the pairs’ red rimmed eyes.

Dawn then told Spike what everyone was doing and why. It touched the vampire deeply. These people cared about him, even the ones he’d known for a short while. They were helping him without making him feel even more like a freak then he already was.

All too soon, it was time for the Scoobies to leave and that brought a fresh bout of tears all around. Dawn informed Spike that she was leaving her favorite sweater behind, just so that the vampire would know that she’ll be back to visit. With promises of keeping in touch, whether about the chip or not, Buffy and the others headed home. Spike stood in the lobby with a sad, mournful look upon his face. He already missed his girls, but he didn’t regret his decision to stay behind. He turned around and spotted Angel watching him.

“Why didn’t you go with them, Spike?” his voice laced with curiosity.

Spike scowled at him. “It’s daylight, ya’ poncy git. Go outside and I’ll be a crispy critter.”

“I mean, why didn’t you insist that they stay until dark, and then go with them?”

“It’s my business. And no, I ain’t tellin’ ya’. You don’t have to know every bloody thing, Angel.” And with that, he headed back to his suddenly too quiet room. If Angel thought that he was staying because he was going to declare his undying love for the Wanker, he was sadly mistaken.

The two vampires managed to avoid each other for the next few weeks. Angel wondered if a truce would ever be declared. He got his answer a few days later.

Spike shifted and turned, trying to get comfortable, trying desperately to sleep without the all consuming nightmares. It was too quiet, and he was too alone for any peace of mind. He stared at his picture, knowing that he’d never really been able to sleep without Xander by his side. Or someone by his side. Angel seemed to be his only answer and he hoped that Xander would understand. It wasn’t like they were going to have sex together, just sleep. So far, he had been able to rest beside Angel and his Sire did nothing to abuse the privilege, beyond that first time of course. Mind on track, he quickly dressed and went to face the lion in his den.

Angel quickly woke up from a deep sleep. He let his body stay relaxed and his eyes were still closed, but he was on high alert. He could sense that someone or something was in his room. He listened, but couldn’t detect a heartbeat, so the intruder wasn’t human. Then his sharp nose caught a whiff of the stranger. Spike’s familiar scent washed over him like a cool caress. His Childe was here.

Opening his eyes, Angel saw the thin frame of his Childe. The fully dressed blond shifted from foot to foot, nervously chewing on his bottom lip. He looked so little and lost that Angel just wanted to rock him in his arms and comfort him. But he knew that Spike wouldn’t go for that.

“Spike? What’s wrong?”

Big blue eyes darted everywhere but on the vampire stretched out on the bed. His nerve was going and he’d nearly bolted at the sound of Angel’s voice.

“I . . . I can’t sleep.” A speaking silence echoed.

“Nightmare?”

A wordless nod and the silence got louder. Angel was puzzled about what Spike wanted him to do about it.

“Do you need me to get you something to help you sleep? I think I might be able to find something in the medicine cabinet.”

“No, don’t bother. I just thought you wanted to know. Go back to sleep, Angel. It’s my problem and I’ll deal with it like I always have.”

If Angel was too dense to figure it out, Spike certainly wasn’t going to enlighten him. The Big Bad didn’t need to resort to begging. Near begging, yes, actual begging, no way. Spike turned and left, leaving a puzzled Angel behind.

Angel thought about what just happened. Spike has had sleepless days before, nightmares were normal for the blond. So, why had he come to Angel to tell him that he’d had a nightmare? The only time Angel had seen the younger vampire sleep half-way peaceful was when someone was with him. Oh. Oh! Was that it? Was Spike hoping that he’d invite him to share his bed? He suddenly remembered that Spike had once said that he couldn’t sleep alone anymore.

Feeling like an insensitive bastard, Angel hurried to find his Childe. If he had too, he’ll order Spike to sleep with him. Platonically of course.

Angel caught Spike when he was almost too his bedroom. The blond was moving slow as if he was on his way to the gallows instead of bed. He reached out and held onto a thin shoulder, halting the other vampire’s progress.

“How about sharing my bed? I’m kinda lonely and I’ll like the company.”

Blue eyes narrowed mistrustfully at him.

“Strictly as friends, of course. No strings attached.”

“No playin’ with my danglin’ bits?” Spike suspiciously asked. Just because he couldn’t sleep alone, didn’t mean that he would give Peaches free reign of his body. Angel had been a last resort. He’d actually thought about asking Fred on the way to Angel’s room, but hadn’t wanted to give the girl the vapors. Besides, it’ll be kinda crowded in there with Charlie boy.

Angel suppressed a smile. Trust his Childe to go straight for the throat. “No playing with dangling bits, I promise. And I’m making it an order.”

Spike thought about it for a minute and then nodded. If Nancy Boy wanted to make it an order, then it was alright by him.

“Can I bring my picture?”

“Sure, get anything you need. I’ll be waiting for you. Don’t be long.”

Angel went back to his room, just hoping that he did the right thing. He changed his silk pajamas for a heavy sweat suit, wanting to give Spike a little extra peace of mind. Sweats were less seductive looking the black silk p.j.’s.

Ten minutes later, Spike appeared, clutching his picture and hovering at the door before bravely stepping inside. Avoiding the sight of Angel on the bed, he peevishly announced, “I always sleep on the left.”

Angel didn’t say anything. He simply moved over and smiled reassuringly. Spike took off his shoes and crawled in, jeans and all. He curled up into a tense ball on the edge of the mattress, picture possessively held in his arms. Angel concentrated on staying as far away from the blond as he could manage. He didn’t want Spike to bolt on him.

“Good night, Spike.”

“Just remember to keep your hands to yourself, git.”

Angel smiled as he drifted to sleep. His Spike was sounding more like himself and he couldn’t be happier.

Angel woke up and was pleased to find that Spike had passed a very quiet night. The blond had also snuggled up against him during his sleep. He was under no illusion that the blond had done it intentionally. He carefully left the bed, making sure not to disturb the still sleeping Spike. Absently rubbing a sore spot where the sharp edge of the picture frame had dug into his flesh, he quickly dressed and went downstairs, leaving a note for Spike on the empty pillow.

A few hours later, a still sleepy Spike ambled downstairs in search of food. He chatted with Fred, traded insults with Cordelia and only nodded slightly at Angel as he left for a case. When bedtime came, Spike hovered near Angel’s doorway again, not sure if he was still welcomed. Angel got into bed and gave him an order that as long as his Sire needed him to, he was to share the bed. Angel wanted it to sound as if he needed the comfort, leaving Spike’s dignity intact.

Soon, Spike moved permanently into Angel’s room as the older vampire explained the reasons to the rest of his crew. As long as Spike had no objections, and that Angel didn’t try any funny business, they reluctantly agreed to stay out of it. They firmly approved when Angel informed them that Spike hadn’t had any of his night terrors since moving in with him.

A month later, Angel had nearly lost patience with his Childe. Spike had reverted back to his old ways, leaving dirty clothes all over the place and wet towels on the bathroom floor. He’d even taken over Angel’s closet, shoving the older vampire’s expensive wardrobe to the far side to make plenty of room for his meager belongings, going so far as to ‘accidentally’ dropping a few of the more costly suits on the closet floor and leaving them there. The blond had also emptied a few of Angel’s dresser drawers for his use by simply taking the drawers completely out and turning them upside down, leaving the contents piled on the floor.

But just when Angel was about to scream about all the empty, blood encrusted mugs just lying around, he remembered the peaceful look on the sleeping blond’s face, he just gritted his teeth and picked up after him. If he made too big of an issue, Spike just might move back into his old room and suffer from his nightmares once more. Angel wouldn’t have been able to take that.

Time passed.

Spike begun training again, sparring against Angel. As he grew stronger, he even managed to win a few rounds against the larger vampire. However, he and Angel had a huge fight because he wanted to go out on cases with the rest of the team. Angel refused on the grounds that some of the baddies they went up against were humans. Spike argued that not all were humans and he was smart enough to get out of the way in case that happened. He won the argument when he accused Angel of not trusting him.

Angel reluctantly agreed to take him on a few cases just to see how the younger vampire handled himself. Spike was a bit rusty at first, but soon got into the swing of things. Angel and the rest of the crew was impressed, especially when a large group of humans jumped them.

Spike leaped in front of Fred and, instead of dragging her out of the fray while he still had a chance, shielded her with his body as a large thug attacked them with a lead pipe. The blond took a bad beating before someone disabled the guy, but he saved Fred’s life. He had to endure Angel’s lecture about his own safety as he laid up with multiple broken bones and wounds for the next few days. But, he did enjoy the pampering and fussing that the girls did over him for saving Fred’s life. Angel allowed him to go on more and more cases after that.

Two years passed without any progress made in disabling the chip. Spike still suffered from migraines, sometime lasting anywhere from a few hours to days at a time. They all worried as the attacks seemed to get worse, once rendering Spike nearly comatose for a full week. Angel spent that time sleeping in a chair, unwilling to leave the ailing blond. Spike had whimpered with pain whenever Angel tried to lay beside him. Gunn and Wesley managed to rig up a feeding tube for Spike, inserting a long tube into his stomach to allow feedings for the days he was unable to drink or keep down any blood. It was the only way he got any nourishment during those times.

Fred had actually come close to a solution a few times, but she still hit a brick wall whenever she tried to turn the chip off safely. Six empty rooms held her handwritten equations on the walls. Buffy was no closer to finding Riley then before. It seemed as though every time she got close, the Initiative pulled up stakes and moved. Tara and Willow also had problems getting magic to cooperate with technology. Spike no longer when on any cases as now the chip had started to interfere during those times as well. And when the chip didn’t go off, he still felt as weak as he did during the attacks. He’d started to seriously consider opening the drapes to end the pain, but he was unable to summon up the strength to walk the short length from the bed to the window.

Angel woke up in the middle of the day with the bed shaking. At first, he thought it was an earthquake, until he realized that it was just the bed that was moving. Turning over, and expecting to see Spike in the middle of one of his now rare night terrors, the sight that greeted him froze him on the spot. Spike’s blue eyes were dull and half-opened, unseeing of the world around him. His slight body, at first ridged, jerked as if he’d stuck his hand in a light socket. When Spike begun to sweat blood, Angel broke out of his trance. He rushed to the door, screaming for help, and then hurried back to Spike, not wanting to leave him alone.

It seemed like forever before they came, just in time to witness Spike’s whole body arch upwards, the top of his head and the heels of his feet the only things connecting him to the bed. He froze in that position forever, suspended in time, defying gravity, before he finally collapsed into a limp, blood soaked heap.

Angel gathered up his Childe, desperately trying to get him to respond. The only sound Spike made was a harsh, gasping of unneeded breath. The older vampire turned anguished eyes to the rest of the stunned crew. “What’s wrong with him? What the fuck is going on?”

Fred stepped forward. She’d seen enough to make an educated guess. Knowing that she was right, knowing that there was only one option left, knowing that they would all hate the idea, didn’t make what she had to say any easier.

“He’s starting to have seizures. He’s going to die if we don’t neutralize the chip right now.” Everyone stared at her. “We’re going to have to turn it off at the source, while it’s still inside him,” she continued. “I’ve already thought it all out and I’m sure that it’ll work. It’s the only way, Angel. But there are risks, I won’t lie to you about that. There could be brain damage, paralysis, death. Nothing’s fool-proof and we’ll just have to hope for the best.”

Angel stared uncomprehendingly at her. “You want to cut Spike’s head open?”

“It’s the only way. I’d hoped that we could’ve done it without resorting to surgery, but now we’ve run out of time. He’s gonna die if we don’t take care of it now.”

“How long have you known? How long have you been thinking of cutting Spike’s head open?” Angel pressed her.

Fred was silent, squirming under everyone’s attention. When she made no sound to answer, Angel barked out, “How?! Long?!“

She jumped and then stared at the floor. Her voice was low and sad. “Almost from the very beginning. The idea had always been in the back of my mind, but with the risks, I’d hoped that we could’ve found another way, a way that was safer.”

Anger surged through Angel. Fred had known from the very beginning that Spike would’ve needed to have surgery and she never said a fucking word about it.

“Why didn’t you say something?! Why did you make him suffer for so long?! Why . . .”

That was as far as Angel got in his tirade before another seizure started. The larger vampire tried to hold the suffering blond down. But there was a sickening crunch as he realized that Spike’s wrist had snapped. He instantly let go and watched a replay of what had happened before. Fred silently timed it, noting that only five minutes lapsed. Five agonizingly slow minutes.

“Fix it. Turn it off. Do what you have to do right now before it’s too late.” Angel’s voice was full of fear and desperation.

“But the risks . . . “

”Damn the risks! I don’t care about the risks!” Angel interrupted her. “If you don’t turn it off, he’ll die. If you do turn it off, he still might die. We don’t have a choice anymore. Just do what you have to do. Make my Childe whole again. Please.”

The last was said in a whisper as they all watched as Spike was caught up in another macabre dance of pain. Fred quickly left to make arrangements and gather equipment. They were going to need a proper operating room, some place with bright lights and a sterile atmosphere. Although, with Spike technically already a corpse, it was unlikely that he would develop any type of infection. The only place suitable that she could think of would be Noah’s Ark, a vet’s office they’d recently helped by getting rid of several demons who were munching on the animal patients. Dr. Noah Carpenter had told them that he’ll treat any of their pets for free as a bonus.

Fred wondered if Spike could be considered a pet and smiled when she pictured the vampire dressed like a poodle; fluffy hair, bows in ears, rhinestone collar, nails painted pink, tongue lolling out. She decided to keep that mental image to herself. It only took Fred a few moments to get in touch with Dr. Noah. She explained that they had a severely sun-sensitive albino who was having multiple seizures, one lasting for at least five minutes. She also informed him that it was brain related, not chemical, and stressed the importance of keeping it a secret. She told him that they didn’t want to alert the media that a rare albino had brain damage. The young Texan conveniently left out the part about Spike being a vampire.

Noah swallowed her explanation, telling her that he’d cancel all of his other appointments and get rid of the people in the waiting room. They could bring in their patient as soon as possible. Fred hung up and hurried to collect the things she needed; notes that she’d made, diagrams of the human brain, and the little electronic devices she’d built. She hadn’t had the chance to test them first, but she was sure that they’ll work. Well, pretty positive. She certainly hoped to God that they did work.

They managed to wrap Spike up like a mummy and settled a blanket clad Angel in the backseat of Wesley’s car. The four humans crowded into the front bench seat. Angel held his unconscious Childe, pleading with him to wake up and insult him. The mummy-wrapped Spike suffered three attacks on the way to the vet’s office. Despite having the sheets wound tightly around him, Spike’s first seizure threatened to expose Angel to the deadly rays of the sun. Cordy climbed over the seats and into the back to make sure that no vampire parts were exposed. Angel’s vampire ears heard two ribs crack under the pressure and urged Wesley to go faster.

Not soon enough in Angel’s opinion, they pulled into the back alley of the clinic. Fred rushed to the backdoor and held it open as Angel, carrying his precious bundle, hurried in as Gunn and Wesley held the blanket over his head. Cordy quickly followed and made sure that the car doors was firmly shut and locked behind them. She joined them just in time to see Dr. Noah’s stunned face at the unveiling of his ‘patient’.

“Look, Fred. I can’t operate on people. I only have a license for animals.”

“That’s ok. Spike isn’t exactly people.”

“Huh? Look, I know that you helped me with those Satanic whackos, but I’m risking my license if I help you.” The vet watched as Spike’s body begun to convulse. “This guy really needs a hospital. I can help you find a good one that won’t ask too many insurance questions if that’s why you brought him here.”

Cordelia sighed and just decided to take charge. Once genius girl began to explain what was going on, she’ll just leave the doctor in confusion and Spike needed help pronto.

“Look, it wasn’t whackos that were taking your animals.”

“It wasn’t? Then who was taking them?”

Cordy pulled him out of the way as Fred began to direct the other men into what was needed for the operation.

“Not ‘who’. What. They were a clan of demons who ate domesticated pets. Your patients in other words.”

“I don’t believe in that stuff. What kind of drugs are you on? Demons are just fairy tales, they don’t exist.”

“Oh, no? Angel,” she turned to the only conscious vampire in the room, “grr face.”

Angel heard the exchange, took in the disbelieving face of the vet and let his demon out. He gave a silent chuckle at the sight of the good doc falling on his ass at the sight. Cordy was good enough to help him up.

“Jesus Christ! What the fuck was that?!”

“That,” Cordy nodded to the now human looking Angel, “is a vampire. A good vampire with a soul. And your patient is a vampire too. Although, he doesn’t have a soul, but he’s good now. And he has a chip in his head that’s doing a lot of damage for no reason. If we don’t get it shut off, it’ll kill him. Permanently. He’s done a lot of good, he can still do good if the chip is turned off. Please help him.”

T.B.C.