christmas sucks
well yesterday was going to be my familys christmas party, but we had to cancel do to my mother being in the hospital..not sure whats going on with her will find out more today. I always fear the worst and concidering it is her heart, well I'm very worried. My father died april 7 1999 and I know I've never got over it. Hell I've only visited his grave twice I cant do it without totaly breaking down. if somthing happens to my mom I think my family will tare itself apart. I know my emotional, and mental walls will get alot taller. Hell i cant let anyone in now. I feel bad cause I've lost alot of friends and family over the years and i think with every passing I get alittle colder alittle more distant from everyone. what to do?