*thinking*

[soulsearching05]

Well, I was thinking earlier, I need a place to vent. From what I hear this is the "happenin'" place to do something of that sort. So, here goes my first entry. I'm not sure where to start, should I just leave it at this. No, that seem too easy

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[soulsearching05]

I haven't questioned myself in a long time. There are people though who have questioned my ability of being the best that I can be. That makes me question myself. Which now that I think back on it, that wasn't what I needed to do. I should have explain myself, but at that moment explaining myself wasn't the response I wanted to go with.

Putting the most important people first is okay, when the most important people are the ones you love. That's what I was doing. A couple of years ago, I was confused. I was trying to make everyone happy, only in the end, I hurt everyone. I've learned from that, I can honestly say I will never be in that situation again. I love myself too much to make my life as emotionally hard as it used to be. And I have too much respect for the people in my life to live history again.

I'm not sure of that any more. A true friend? The concept boggles my mind. I know that I do have a best friend. And I am true to her. I am not looking for that one special friend to come along. Because through different people in my life I have everything I am looking for. Perfection never will be, but I've learned how to get around that matter.

No one has left, perhaps just changed into something I'm not used to seeing within them. Maybe it (selfishness) was always there but never directed towards me, and that's actually what's catching me off guard.