The Darkest Of Wings - Ruby/Sam, Uriel - PG - [1/1]
Title:The Darkest Of Wings
Author: force-oblique
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! :P
Characters/Pairings: Ruby/Sam,Uriel - mostly Ruby POV
Spoilers/Warnings: General fic - no spoiler
Summary: Who could you possibly call now? Who would come for you?
You have renounced heaven eons ago and hell wont accept you anymore.
Which Heaven would forgive you with so much blood on your hands and what Hell could take you back with a stain of light on the black veil of your existence?
Author's Notes: After last week's episode, I kept thinking about Ruby and her place in all of this.. What is she? Is she demon after betraying hell? Is she good?
This is in the same motif as This Is How You Fall and The Other Side
~ English is not my native language so excuse any crappiness and/or mistakes!
Crossposted at@spn-ruby,wincest-free,spn-fanficspn-gen,sam-ruby, supportsamruby,moon-hunters, daysofthereaper,spn-fics
The Darkest Of Wings
Oh now you are in trouble!
Big trouble. Thats what you think as the angel grabs you by the neck, his grip fierce and menacing.
His other hand so close to your skin, you can almost feel it sizzling.
You can swear there's steam emitting from your skin already, as if your essence is trying to evaporate, liquid turning into gas, so as to hide and leave your body before it is hurled into damnation again.
You look into his eyes.
There's no emotion and you wonder if he can read any emotion in your own eyes.
Chocolate brown, the eyes of a girl that got lost.
Innocent and lost.
Are they mirroring your own innocence, supposedly lost centuries ago?
But was it really lost or was it just misplaced, suspended in space and time till you returned to this dimension again?
Is your innocence really still there?
And would that mean anything? Would that be enough?
Would it make a difference to a creature that's ageless and heartless and with its eyes focused on the big picture instead of on the details?
And does he know that what he calls details are humans? People, persons just like the person you used to be?
It is with effort that you focus your eyes anymore... But he is too close to you, black as night and though blackness doesn't scare you - both heaven and hell know that there's so much inside you right now... hell, it is you - but there's something so imposing right underneath the surface.
Like a bomb about to go off.
Like a new cataclysm, a severe rainfall, with no boat to carry you to safety.
But you know you wouldn't be one of the chosen ones anyways...
You look at the both of them.
The Angels of the Lord. Castiel and Uriel and you try to decide who is worse.
Uriel for never questioning his orders no matter how cruel they may be?
Never second guessing, never hesitating and even taking pleasure in causing pain or is it Castiel for having all those guilts and questions and thoughts but never acting on them?
Is it fear? Is it blind piety? Is it obedience or is he a coward?
And do you have the right to judge them?
Everyone has a story and at least you can say that you have earned your place, low as it may be...
They were created for this sole purpose... They know of nothing else.
Then you turn to look at Sam.
He is there, struggling with himself. You know he is torn.
You can feel it, you can read it off his face.
You know him too well by now. His little mannerisms, the way his brows meet when he is in pain. The way he moans when he is aroused. The little smirk he gives you when he has succeeded in yet another one exorcism with his brain...
Now he is torn. Unsure.
He doesn't want to go against the angels, but he doesn't want to lose you either.
Good, sensitive Sam.
He still believes in the old fables about angels.
He is so old-school.
Believing in the fairytales.
Believing in the Angels who are guardians and helpers, overlooking or ignoring the simple fact that Angels are God's Army.
Fearless, mighty warriors that carry out His bidding, ready to smack down anything and anyone they are told to.
Still, for a moment you envy their clarity, their conviction, their lucidity.
It must feel good to never have to or want to question anything. Never waver, never hesitate...
Self-righteous, yes, that's the word that comes to mind but you will never say it out loud and you stifle a giggle, that's trying to choke out, which as always comes at the worst of times.
It must feel good to never have to think for yourself.
Having everything spread out neatly before you, like a map, a route you are supposed to follow.
Yes so good...
Liberating or maybe imprisoning you in a cage of your own device?
Uriel's touch still burns like holy water, like hot coal poured on you, over and over again till it covers you whole...
For centuries, you never failed to get into trouble.
Because you get too close.
Thats the only way you work.
You still remember how it feels to be human and walking among them,among humans, now is both comforting and painful at the same time.
Then again, you have always known you were the masochist.
It has always been there underneath your real skin, no matter which body you were possessing.
Still you sense it.
Your number is almost up and this time it's for real.
This body is close to giving up. The lack of oxygen suffocates you.
It feels as if your lungs are on fire, ignited by a touch.
Your eyes start to play tricks on you.
Is this earth or is this hell?
Because it can't be earth. The earth has only once before been walked on by so many creatures of the darkness and only once before have angels descended...
This can't be hell because you are not in real pain anymore. You are not in agony.
You close your eyes and it almost feels as if you are in peace. But it can't be true?
Can it?
How can you be at peace with as much blood on your hands and your conscience so heavy?
Is he cleansing you? Is your suffering your redemption?
Is it what Uriel had in mind or is it a by-product of the hatred you can see in his eyes?
The more he is infected, the cleaner you get?
Is it a trade? One soul for another?
Will you take his place or are you hallucinating?
Is that a smile on the Angel's face?
Has he come for you at last?
To deliver you instead of banish you?
No, thats a sneer and you know what it means...
He's got you trapped.
Trapped between worlds, trapped between yourself and who you were meant to be...
He's got you right where he wants to, because this small corner of the cabin obviously wasn't meant for vacation, but for your battle.
You open your mouth as if to speak but you pause.
What words could deliver you know?
Which words carry as much power as it is needed to reverse it all?
And the sneer on Uriel's face persists.
He knows by now you are all alone even in the presence of others.
Because others at least stand united in their misery, in their ignorance, in their kind.
But you are alone, you are unique.
Who can you call on?
Who could you possibly call now? Who would come for you?
You have renounced heaven eons ago and hell wont accept you anymore.
Which heaven would forgive you with so much blood on your hands and what hell could take you back with a stain of light on the black veil of your existence?
You are tainted in every way imaginable and in this, you are both unique and condemned. Hopeless.
You are too evil for heaven and too good for hell...
What has happened to you? At what point did you choose to be so?
Fierce but wavering, good-mannered but tricky.
You have an edge in you, one you will never be able to get rid of.
And there's light in you again, creeping in through the holes in the armor you spent centuries building...
Because you have wings as well. Like the Angels.
Yet, they are black, the darkest of wings...
Now no one can accept you and forgive you.
There's no deliverance for you...
You should have been more careful, Ruby.
You should have weighed your options better, before giving it all up, all on a whim, on a gut feeling, on an instinct - against you basic one, that of self-preservation - as your humanity awakened.
Involuntarily. Almost unknowingly...
Yet, something has changed.
The end is coming.
The end of the world.
The apocalypse.
What everyone on earth and heaven fears.
But you are a demon.
You shouldn't be afraid.
If you are loyal, then this must be what you dream of at night.
Lucifer's ascension and with it, the days of your reign.
Your reign and his. And every other demons'.
Only you have stopped dreaming about that decades ago, ever since something went wrong.
Ever since you shed a lone tear for the lives you had taken, for the misery you brought.
And then everything changed...
Funny... you thought you could make a difference.
That you had chosen, if not the right side or the winning side, at least the side on which you would find out who you are...
Who or what you are after all of this.
After everything you've been through and everything you've done.
But now you are on the brink of death. Again.
Angel hands taking you apart piece by piece.
You have died many deaths in the span of your life - alive or undead - and you have taken a lot of bodies in the process.
Innocent, naive people or gullible and evil ones.
It didn't make any difference.
But in all of that, you were alone.
Acting on your own, with no purpose, just because you felt like it.
But now it is different. You have a purpose.
Keeping Sam alive till he is ready to take on Lilith.
Till he is ready to see you for who you really are.
A demon that is too broken to stand on her own.
That's why you linger around him.
You need a purpose, something to tell you that not all has been in vain
Because you have wings, the darkest of wings, but you have nowhere to fly to.
There's something waiting for you in the end. you believe it.
You are not human, so it cannot be light.
You are not demon, so it can't be destruction.
You are renegade, so there must be something else.
Something in-between like dusk or dawn, but they are both better than the grey you live in. Every day.
But now you will never know...
“Let her go” Sam's voice resounds.
He shouts the words, his arm stretched out in the air.
He has finally made up his mind and he cares.
Oh Heaven and Hell he cares...
Oh, Sam didn't you know you can't exorcise an angel? Where's the evil in there? Or do you know any better?
But he is trying, he is trying to force his will on an angel of the Lord, for you...
And that's enough...
Maybe there's hope for you yet....
~ Fin ~
If you enjoyed this, also try:
1)This Is How You Fall - A Ruby Fic - [1]
2)The Other Side - A Ruby Fic - [1/1]
3)Bleed The Skies - A Sam/Evil!Sam Fic - [1/1]
4)A Shell - Running On Hope - A Ruby/Dean fic - [1/1]
Comments Found Here
Author: force-oblique
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! :P
Characters/Pairings: Ruby/Sam,Uriel - mostly Ruby POV
Spoilers/Warnings: General fic - no spoiler
Summary: Who could you possibly call now? Who would come for you?
You have renounced heaven eons ago and hell wont accept you anymore.
Which Heaven would forgive you with so much blood on your hands and what Hell could take you back with a stain of light on the black veil of your existence?
Author's Notes: After last week's episode, I kept thinking about Ruby and her place in all of this.. What is she? Is she demon after betraying hell? Is she good?
This is in the same motif as This Is How You Fall and The Other Side
~ English is not my native language so excuse any crappiness and/or mistakes!
Crossposted at@spn-ruby,wincest-free,spn-fanficspn-gen,sam-ruby, supportsamruby,moon-hunters, daysofthereaper,spn-fics
The Darkest Of Wings
Oh now you are in trouble!
Big trouble. Thats what you think as the angel grabs you by the neck, his grip fierce and menacing.
His other hand so close to your skin, you can almost feel it sizzling.
You can swear there's steam emitting from your skin already, as if your essence is trying to evaporate, liquid turning into gas, so as to hide and leave your body before it is hurled into damnation again.
You look into his eyes.
There's no emotion and you wonder if he can read any emotion in your own eyes.
Chocolate brown, the eyes of a girl that got lost.
Innocent and lost.
Are they mirroring your own innocence, supposedly lost centuries ago?
But was it really lost or was it just misplaced, suspended in space and time till you returned to this dimension again?
Is your innocence really still there?
And would that mean anything? Would that be enough?
Would it make a difference to a creature that's ageless and heartless and with its eyes focused on the big picture instead of on the details?
And does he know that what he calls details are humans? People, persons just like the person you used to be?
It is with effort that you focus your eyes anymore... But he is too close to you, black as night and though blackness doesn't scare you - both heaven and hell know that there's so much inside you right now... hell, it is you - but there's something so imposing right underneath the surface.
Like a bomb about to go off.
Like a new cataclysm, a severe rainfall, with no boat to carry you to safety.
But you know you wouldn't be one of the chosen ones anyways...
You look at the both of them.
The Angels of the Lord. Castiel and Uriel and you try to decide who is worse.
Uriel for never questioning his orders no matter how cruel they may be?
Never second guessing, never hesitating and even taking pleasure in causing pain or is it Castiel for having all those guilts and questions and thoughts but never acting on them?
Is it fear? Is it blind piety? Is it obedience or is he a coward?
And do you have the right to judge them?
Everyone has a story and at least you can say that you have earned your place, low as it may be...
They were created for this sole purpose... They know of nothing else.
Then you turn to look at Sam.
He is there, struggling with himself. You know he is torn.
You can feel it, you can read it off his face.
You know him too well by now. His little mannerisms, the way his brows meet when he is in pain. The way he moans when he is aroused. The little smirk he gives you when he has succeeded in yet another one exorcism with his brain...
Now he is torn. Unsure.
He doesn't want to go against the angels, but he doesn't want to lose you either.
Good, sensitive Sam.
He still believes in the old fables about angels.
He is so old-school.
Believing in the fairytales.
Believing in the Angels who are guardians and helpers, overlooking or ignoring the simple fact that Angels are God's Army.
Fearless, mighty warriors that carry out His bidding, ready to smack down anything and anyone they are told to.
Still, for a moment you envy their clarity, their conviction, their lucidity.
It must feel good to never have to or want to question anything. Never waver, never hesitate...
Self-righteous, yes, that's the word that comes to mind but you will never say it out loud and you stifle a giggle, that's trying to choke out, which as always comes at the worst of times.
It must feel good to never have to think for yourself.
Having everything spread out neatly before you, like a map, a route you are supposed to follow.
Yes so good...
Liberating or maybe imprisoning you in a cage of your own device?
Uriel's touch still burns like holy water, like hot coal poured on you, over and over again till it covers you whole...
For centuries, you never failed to get into trouble.
Because you get too close.
Thats the only way you work.
You still remember how it feels to be human and walking among them,among humans, now is both comforting and painful at the same time.
Then again, you have always known you were the masochist.
It has always been there underneath your real skin, no matter which body you were possessing.
Still you sense it.
Your number is almost up and this time it's for real.
This body is close to giving up. The lack of oxygen suffocates you.
It feels as if your lungs are on fire, ignited by a touch.
Your eyes start to play tricks on you.
Is this earth or is this hell?
Because it can't be earth. The earth has only once before been walked on by so many creatures of the darkness and only once before have angels descended...
This can't be hell because you are not in real pain anymore. You are not in agony.
You close your eyes and it almost feels as if you are in peace. But it can't be true?
Can it?
How can you be at peace with as much blood on your hands and your conscience so heavy?
Is he cleansing you? Is your suffering your redemption?
Is it what Uriel had in mind or is it a by-product of the hatred you can see in his eyes?
The more he is infected, the cleaner you get?
Is it a trade? One soul for another?
Will you take his place or are you hallucinating?
Is that a smile on the Angel's face?
Has he come for you at last?
To deliver you instead of banish you?
No, thats a sneer and you know what it means...
He's got you trapped.
Trapped between worlds, trapped between yourself and who you were meant to be...
He's got you right where he wants to, because this small corner of the cabin obviously wasn't meant for vacation, but for your battle.
You open your mouth as if to speak but you pause.
What words could deliver you know?
Which words carry as much power as it is needed to reverse it all?
And the sneer on Uriel's face persists.
He knows by now you are all alone even in the presence of others.
Because others at least stand united in their misery, in their ignorance, in their kind.
But you are alone, you are unique.
Who can you call on?
Who could you possibly call now? Who would come for you?
You have renounced heaven eons ago and hell wont accept you anymore.
Which heaven would forgive you with so much blood on your hands and what hell could take you back with a stain of light on the black veil of your existence?
You are tainted in every way imaginable and in this, you are both unique and condemned. Hopeless.
You are too evil for heaven and too good for hell...
What has happened to you? At what point did you choose to be so?
Fierce but wavering, good-mannered but tricky.
You have an edge in you, one you will never be able to get rid of.
And there's light in you again, creeping in through the holes in the armor you spent centuries building...
Because you have wings as well. Like the Angels.
Yet, they are black, the darkest of wings...
Now no one can accept you and forgive you.
There's no deliverance for you...
You should have been more careful, Ruby.
You should have weighed your options better, before giving it all up, all on a whim, on a gut feeling, on an instinct - against you basic one, that of self-preservation - as your humanity awakened.
Involuntarily. Almost unknowingly...
Yet, something has changed.
The end is coming.
The end of the world.
The apocalypse.
What everyone on earth and heaven fears.
But you are a demon.
You shouldn't be afraid.
If you are loyal, then this must be what you dream of at night.
Lucifer's ascension and with it, the days of your reign.
Your reign and his. And every other demons'.
Only you have stopped dreaming about that decades ago, ever since something went wrong.
Ever since you shed a lone tear for the lives you had taken, for the misery you brought.
And then everything changed...
Funny... you thought you could make a difference.
That you had chosen, if not the right side or the winning side, at least the side on which you would find out who you are...
Who or what you are after all of this.
After everything you've been through and everything you've done.
But now you are on the brink of death. Again.
Angel hands taking you apart piece by piece.
You have died many deaths in the span of your life - alive or undead - and you have taken a lot of bodies in the process.
Innocent, naive people or gullible and evil ones.
It didn't make any difference.
But in all of that, you were alone.
Acting on your own, with no purpose, just because you felt like it.
But now it is different. You have a purpose.
Keeping Sam alive till he is ready to take on Lilith.
Till he is ready to see you for who you really are.
A demon that is too broken to stand on her own.
That's why you linger around him.
You need a purpose, something to tell you that not all has been in vain
Because you have wings, the darkest of wings, but you have nowhere to fly to.
There's something waiting for you in the end. you believe it.
You are not human, so it cannot be light.
You are not demon, so it can't be destruction.
You are renegade, so there must be something else.
Something in-between like dusk or dawn, but they are both better than the grey you live in. Every day.
But now you will never know...
“Let her go” Sam's voice resounds.
He shouts the words, his arm stretched out in the air.
He has finally made up his mind and he cares.
Oh Heaven and Hell he cares...
Oh, Sam didn't you know you can't exorcise an angel? Where's the evil in there? Or do you know any better?
But he is trying, he is trying to force his will on an angel of the Lord, for you...
And that's enough...
Maybe there's hope for you yet....
~ Fin ~
If you enjoyed this, also try:
1)This Is How You Fall - A Ruby Fic - [1]
2)The Other Side - A Ruby Fic - [1/1]
3)Bleed The Skies - A Sam/Evil!Sam Fic - [1/1]
4)A Shell - Running On Hope - A Ruby/Dean fic - [1/1]
Comments Found Here