The Path That Leads To You - Serena/Blair - Gift fic for my FLIST
Title: The path that leads to you
Author: force-oblique
Rating: G, PG
Disclaimer: I dont own anything! :P
Characters/Pairings: Serena/Blair - (Serena POV)
Spoilers/Warnings: Serena/Blair relationship but mostly 1x16
Word Count: 1.313
Summary: A take on the last Serena/Blair scene in 1x16
Author's Notes:This may suck....but I felt like writing it...XD
Dedication: This fic is dedicated to all my lj friends and especially to the ones who wished me happy birthday! XD
Crossposted at @ ggfanfiction, gossipgirlfic, serenablair, gossipfic
The Path That Leads To You
A tear rolls down her cheek and on the corner of her mouth. It gently slides on her lips, moistening them and Serena can feel it’s salty and the irony of this.
Because, really, there’s only so much you can do when you know you are at fault.
When you know you are guilty and that guilt further rendered heavier with remorse is a burden you cannot endure.
She is just watching now. Watching the people around her looking at her, watching her hands shake, her feet making their way to a destination she has yet to determine.
Can you feel alone, when you are among people?
Are you alone when you are surrounded by people who know you?
Is it some superficial knowledge or is it true insight?
Can you trust them enough with a secret, a mistake only the darkest depths of your soul can conceal and even then is it really concealed? Is it really contained?
Is it really the mistake you keep prisoner or is it the other way round?
Has your mistake put bars around you instead? Invisible bars but still insurmountable?
And if they are there how can you push past them?
If they allow you to look outside, the sun, the sky and function in some way, how will you even realize you are not really free?
Is it really sufficient?
Is that truly what you want? A substitute of life?
And which is more appropriate for the mistake you made?
The invisible ones that have taken hold of your soul and let go of your body or the iron ones that capture your body but allow your soul to soar and enjoy without shame?
Which is the most devastating?
Carrying the guilt with you always or serving time?
Serena knew that things might not even go there but one can never be sure.
Sometimes policemen enjoy being strict on rich people, under the common misconception that life comes too easy for the wealthy.
If only that were true.
She wiped the wet tears off her face but she could already feel new ones on their way.
She knew it would be a while till her eyes were dry again.
She just wanted it to stop. The nightmares, the guilt, the doubts, the pain…
She just needed to let someone know. To tell him or her of what she had done and feel that they wouldn’t deny her.
She couldn’t bear being forsaken now. She knew she was wrong. She knew she shouldn’t have just left him there. She should have done something, anything to revive him, to keep him in this world.
But what did she know? She was just that pseudo-rebellious teenager Georgina had turned her into and all the booze and the smoke had clouded her judgment along with her vision.
Was that some excuse she could hang on to like a shipwrecked person onto a piece of wood? No!
Serena knew better than that.
She knew good things don’t come easy.
You have to work for them and for forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a gift, it’s a privilege, one that may not be granted to you.
The one you have harmed decides if you are worthy, if you really deserve it and now the boy was gone. So maybe her chance was lost or maybe it was her first test, she just had to work harder.
She just needed someone to hold her, to embrace her, say it’s understandable and lull her to sleep.
And that someone couldn’t be Dan… Not yet!
But it could be Blair... Even after everything she had done to her too, she knew she had a chance....
Her one, true, best friend.
The neon lights and streets around her suddenly came back into focus. All those people walking next to her, past her, were they all better persons than she was?
Could they see through the fabric of her clothes as if it were the frayed veil of her soul?
Could they see right through her and guess what she had done?
Were they mocking her already? Were they shutting her out, deeming her a fake?
A look in the face of a stranger put her mind at rest.
He was looking at her but there was no accusation in his eyes. Only lust and desire.
He couldn’t see deeper than her high heels, her mini skirt, her perfect make-up or her golden hair….
He didn’t know her…He didn’t know anything about her.
But Serena knew that people always want the truth. Especially the people who love you, whom you love back…
And they deserve it.
If you can ever have a relationship based on trust and devotion, honesty is its basic ingredient.
She inhaled deeply, savoring the moment and the realization of this.
If you can count on anyone to never let you down and never let you go, it’s your friends. Your best friends.
The ones you can trust with your life and know that they will try their best to save you even by putting their own life at risk…
And Blair was one of them. Blair was there for her always and she knew she would understand and never judge her.
Because despite her aloof façade,Blair had a heart of gold and was very sensitive. She was only trying to hide it with her sarcastic comments and “bitchy” attitude.
It was only a defense mechanism meant to protect her fragile psyche from hurt and pain.
But Serena would never hurt Blair. And deep inside she was sure than neither would Blair.
Because if anything was “forever”, it was friendship…
Fin
Comments found Here
Author: force-oblique
Rating: G, PG
Disclaimer: I dont own anything! :P
Characters/Pairings: Serena/Blair - (Serena POV)
Spoilers/Warnings: Serena/Blair relationship but mostly 1x16
Word Count: 1.313
Summary: A take on the last Serena/Blair scene in 1x16
Author's Notes:This may suck....but I felt like writing it...XD
Dedication: This fic is dedicated to all my lj friends and especially to the ones who wished me happy birthday! XD
Crossposted at @ ggfanfiction, gossipgirlfic, serenablair, gossipfic
The Path That Leads To You
A tear rolls down her cheek and on the corner of her mouth. It gently slides on her lips, moistening them and Serena can feel it’s salty and the irony of this.
Because, really, there’s only so much you can do when you know you are at fault.
When you know you are guilty and that guilt further rendered heavier with remorse is a burden you cannot endure.
She is just watching now. Watching the people around her looking at her, watching her hands shake, her feet making their way to a destination she has yet to determine.
Can you feel alone, when you are among people?
Are you alone when you are surrounded by people who know you?
Is it some superficial knowledge or is it true insight?
Can you trust them enough with a secret, a mistake only the darkest depths of your soul can conceal and even then is it really concealed? Is it really contained?
Is it really the mistake you keep prisoner or is it the other way round?
Has your mistake put bars around you instead? Invisible bars but still insurmountable?
And if they are there how can you push past them?
If they allow you to look outside, the sun, the sky and function in some way, how will you even realize you are not really free?
Is it really sufficient?
Is that truly what you want? A substitute of life?
And which is more appropriate for the mistake you made?
The invisible ones that have taken hold of your soul and let go of your body or the iron ones that capture your body but allow your soul to soar and enjoy without shame?
Which is the most devastating?
Carrying the guilt with you always or serving time?
Serena knew that things might not even go there but one can never be sure.
Sometimes policemen enjoy being strict on rich people, under the common misconception that life comes too easy for the wealthy.
If only that were true.
She wiped the wet tears off her face but she could already feel new ones on their way.
She knew it would be a while till her eyes were dry again.
She just wanted it to stop. The nightmares, the guilt, the doubts, the pain…
She just needed to let someone know. To tell him or her of what she had done and feel that they wouldn’t deny her.
She couldn’t bear being forsaken now. She knew she was wrong. She knew she shouldn’t have just left him there. She should have done something, anything to revive him, to keep him in this world.
But what did she know? She was just that pseudo-rebellious teenager Georgina had turned her into and all the booze and the smoke had clouded her judgment along with her vision.
Was that some excuse she could hang on to like a shipwrecked person onto a piece of wood? No!
Serena knew better than that.
She knew good things don’t come easy.
You have to work for them and for forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a gift, it’s a privilege, one that may not be granted to you.
The one you have harmed decides if you are worthy, if you really deserve it and now the boy was gone. So maybe her chance was lost or maybe it was her first test, she just had to work harder.
She just needed someone to hold her, to embrace her, say it’s understandable and lull her to sleep.
And that someone couldn’t be Dan… Not yet!
But it could be Blair... Even after everything she had done to her too, she knew she had a chance....
Her one, true, best friend.
The neon lights and streets around her suddenly came back into focus. All those people walking next to her, past her, were they all better persons than she was?
Could they see through the fabric of her clothes as if it were the frayed veil of her soul?
Could they see right through her and guess what she had done?
Were they mocking her already? Were they shutting her out, deeming her a fake?
A look in the face of a stranger put her mind at rest.
He was looking at her but there was no accusation in his eyes. Only lust and desire.
He couldn’t see deeper than her high heels, her mini skirt, her perfect make-up or her golden hair….
He didn’t know her…He didn’t know anything about her.
But Serena knew that people always want the truth. Especially the people who love you, whom you love back…
And they deserve it.
If you can ever have a relationship based on trust and devotion, honesty is its basic ingredient.
She inhaled deeply, savoring the moment and the realization of this.
If you can count on anyone to never let you down and never let you go, it’s your friends. Your best friends.
The ones you can trust with your life and know that they will try their best to save you even by putting their own life at risk…
And Blair was one of them. Blair was there for her always and she knew she would understand and never judge her.
Because despite her aloof façade,Blair had a heart of gold and was very sensitive. She was only trying to hide it with her sarcastic comments and “bitchy” attitude.
It was only a defense mechanism meant to protect her fragile psyche from hurt and pain.
But Serena would never hurt Blair. And deep inside she was sure than neither would Blair.
Because if anything was “forever”, it was friendship…
Fin
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