- 50th tide | | the heart -

[soulofocean]

[Filtered Away from Hikaru, Ken and Omi || Unhackable || Viewable to everyone else]

So... you're stuck here with the curses and the weirdness, just like everybody else. But STILL, imagine you find someone you really care about. Someone you want to be with. That makes you see the good side of this place

Comments

Private;

[phasedcat]

Do you mean in a romantic way or friendship?

Private;

[soulofocean]

Roman

Uh. Now you mention that... I think it's really both.

Private;

[phasedcat]

I think...I think it's always worth it. I struggled with that a lot with someone I met here. Truthfully this place is better then my home sometimes. I'm used to putting my mission first, my teammates second, and never taking my feelings or wants into account. But here, I'm not on a team and I'm not fighting everyday. I don't know how to do that very well. Or to be 'normal' so to speak.

I also have someone back home that I was with. But when I met someone here I became conflicted. Not just because I have someone back home. But because I knew that the way I operate and think doesn't work well for normal relationships. But I decided to try because I couldn't help the way I felt.

I can honestly say it was best choices I've made. Not only do I love him and have fun with him. But he's helped me to see things differently or at least try to.

So I think it's worth it. Ignoring feelings or what you may want is wrong to do, at least I think so.

Private; 1/2

[soulofocean]

Kitty...

Yeah, that's what bothers me. The way this place can change our lives or force us to change them ourselves. Even if it turns out to be for the best it's still too much left up to this place to decide!

Private;

[soulofocean]

I see. So you have someone here too... Are they from your same world? Or... do you only have the chance to be with them here?

Private;

[phasedcat]

The City hasn't changed me, Kaidan has. I'm happy he has.

Do you mind me asking, is this about you or a friend?

He's from a different world, so it's only here.

Private;

[soulofocean]

...That's a good way to think about it. But the City still caused for you two to meet. So that part of the control it has remains, huh.

No, not me. A couple of friends of mine. That... almost makes it more complicated than if this was about me.

Re: Private;

[phasedcat]

It has control over the curses, but not our feelings on non-curse days. I've been in a lot of alternate dimensions, they can never fully control everything.

So you're being protective of them then? Friends from home or the City? It's hard sometimes with Kaidan, there are a lot of people from my world here and the ones that were on my team back home we're pretty much family. We're not known for letting outsiders in.

Private;

[soulofocean]

Have you really? That's right. And it's a relief. But the freaks can still do a lot to complicate a relationship. While we're here they're in control, much as I hate to admit it.

Both, actually. Though I hope I get to meet these friends when I return home too.

Re: Private;

[phasedcat]

Yes. More then I can count and many worse then this. Regular life outside the City can complicate relationships. People die, get hurt, leave each other, and so on.

Have you spoken with them about your concerns?

Private;

[soulofocean]

It's pretty hard to imagine it. But I'm sure there must be other worlds even more dangerous and hostile than this.

...Not a lot. I don't wanna put a damper to their relationship with that yet. And...

Well, my best friend and I don't talk a lot about this.

Re: Private;

[phasedcat]

There are. A lot more. There are some where there are no breaks from the danger at all.

Best friends should always talk about things like that. Rachel and I do.

Private; 1/2

[soulofocean]

That's terrible... I can understand how even a place like this would seem like a break for the people who come from that kind of world.

Private;

[soulofocean]

She's... used to keeping things quiet. It's a terrible habit of hers. She thinks she needs to keep things inside and be strong for all of us.

Private;

[phasedcat]

That's a basic rule for us. We're always okay and never anything but okay. Because we have to be strong for each other. But here it's different and so we've started talking more. Or trying to. Maybe you should talk to her about that. That here she doesn't have to keep everything inside.

Private;

[soulofocean]

I've tried. Trust me. And I will keep on trying.

But it doesn't help that each time I do I feel like I'm intruding like a nosy idiot. It kills me to see her do the same thing over and over again. But that's just how her heart works.