burning storm clouds
changes....
i dont understand things sometimes at all... i get lost into the idea of trying to decode feedback from my soroundings and it just scrambles.
so i sit back and i debate.
is knowing everything about anyone really all that important?
is understanding everything about everyone the point?
what is the point?
............
lately i feel like ive changed inside. i dont mean like some wierd growing proccess or something i mean like mentally, like something mentally has changed, like the mind set as of the moment is completely knew, or maybe its just a diffrent shade of glass? a new perspective on something. regardless im not so sure its a good thing. I find myself questioning everything i know and am. and the purpose behind each one of those things. from relationships to family, to self ideals, to whats going on in the world around me.
i also feel as of lately my mood swings are simply completely with out warning, i go from calm to extremly pissed in seconds back to happy to sad to withdrawn. its hard to read even for me. along with my eating habits which as of late are also just completely out of control no matter what i tell myself or do. i contiue to work on it, i feel like i need time to meditate that idea (and perhaps thats exactly what im doing here) because is not words a form of focus.
i think nicole may be right, since i quite smoking i have felt a certain level of aggressiveness that i havent felt in years. makes me want to lash out.
speaking of changes...seems i might be moving out of eastpointe. I'm not counting down or anything, and i sure hope that my mothers current situation will be for the better and not the worst, my mother is the last person that i would hope to see heartbroken again. shes been threw so much and i dont know if i could bare to watch her go threw what she did with dad. (although i highly doubt she could ever have that reaction to anything ever again, and i sure hope that is the case)
i wish certain people would find a way to communicate there feelings and thoughts about me (and the other people in their lives) and they would find themselves a reason to be a part of all this again. I hate to see such a brilliant and beautiful mind sit at home for the rest of their lives.
We really arent to far away from the elections and the idea of having bush as a president for another 4 years really scares the hell out of me. I just cant seem to find a good reason why anyone should support him. i saw a sign on the back of a truck the other day, and on a lawn and i couldnt help but think "are they insane" i swear some people are blind.
Hailing the last crusade
solving the plans weve made
deeming we are heaven sent
there is nothing to repent
destroy the world to save it
amerce who have to acquit
see what youore fighting for
this is total war
marching through ashes of our own
leaving a trace of ruins and bloody bones
we divide good from evil
ignoring the dirt at our steeple
stalking through a wasted land
this is our bitter end
__The Retrosic___
i dont understand things sometimes at all... i get lost into the idea of trying to decode feedback from my soroundings and it just scrambles.
so i sit back and i debate.
is knowing everything about anyone really all that important?
is understanding everything about everyone the point?
what is the point?
............
lately i feel like ive changed inside. i dont mean like some wierd growing proccess or something i mean like mentally, like something mentally has changed, like the mind set as of the moment is completely knew, or maybe its just a diffrent shade of glass? a new perspective on something. regardless im not so sure its a good thing. I find myself questioning everything i know and am. and the purpose behind each one of those things. from relationships to family, to self ideals, to whats going on in the world around me.
i also feel as of lately my mood swings are simply completely with out warning, i go from calm to extremly pissed in seconds back to happy to sad to withdrawn. its hard to read even for me. along with my eating habits which as of late are also just completely out of control no matter what i tell myself or do. i contiue to work on it, i feel like i need time to meditate that idea (and perhaps thats exactly what im doing here) because is not words a form of focus.
i think nicole may be right, since i quite smoking i have felt a certain level of aggressiveness that i havent felt in years. makes me want to lash out.
speaking of changes...seems i might be moving out of eastpointe. I'm not counting down or anything, and i sure hope that my mothers current situation will be for the better and not the worst, my mother is the last person that i would hope to see heartbroken again. shes been threw so much and i dont know if i could bare to watch her go threw what she did with dad. (although i highly doubt she could ever have that reaction to anything ever again, and i sure hope that is the case)
i wish certain people would find a way to communicate there feelings and thoughts about me (and the other people in their lives) and they would find themselves a reason to be a part of all this again. I hate to see such a brilliant and beautiful mind sit at home for the rest of their lives.
We really arent to far away from the elections and the idea of having bush as a president for another 4 years really scares the hell out of me. I just cant seem to find a good reason why anyone should support him. i saw a sign on the back of a truck the other day, and on a lawn and i couldnt help but think "are they insane" i swear some people are blind.
Hailing the last crusade
solving the plans weve made
deeming we are heaven sent
there is nothing to repent
destroy the world to save it
amerce who have to acquit
see what youore fighting for
this is total war
marching through ashes of our own
leaving a trace of ruins and bloody bones
we divide good from evil
ignoring the dirt at our steeple
stalking through a wasted land
this is our bitter end
__The Retrosic___