Ink and paint is making me faint.
--Reaching and memory im not allowed to take a moment to forget who i used to be and learn who the fuck i am now, the fears for your benefit the show for your fucking amusement so fucking happy im laughing out loud laughing ive made my bed and shat in it ive turned into myself but in the future so fucking proud of this im laughing out loud reaching for memories confined victimless morality so blind there has to be a safer way to find to take me to your bitter place to fill my mind-- ---I, Parasite
decided to paint tonight, dont know why just been where my mind has been lately, felt like drawing yesterday, felt like painting today, worked on the painting......the one if you know me that has been sitting dorment for many many months, maybe even a year.(possiably longer) regardless of that, i worked on it, took a diffrent aprouch to it, maybe a better one, i dont know yet.
marigold is responding diffrent to me painting, shes aparently has taken a new liking to the smell of the paint which made clean up very difficult, i hope that there is no chance of her sticking her nose into paint anywhere, im pretty sure i covered most of the ground, if that little brat cat, ever got herself poisened by my paint i would never forgive myself. I really do love her, and shes so old, but such a little pain as she has always done, shes does nothing but make me smile when i think her.
i need to get a better grasp on my diet thing, ive been doing a little better then i have been lately, but i keep fucking up left and right. Some people have given me suggestions and i have taken them to consideration, reworking the whole dieting thing in my head as we speak, its one of thoses things thats is often on my mind.......
I wish i could sometimes drift away into that disorentation, the kind you get when a floresent bulb is burning out ,or light swinging on a chain, where the shadows dance, and the light plays games. hide some where.
at the moment i feel very seperated from reality, very pulled away, how do we exist how do we go on day to day, living like this. Each and every one of us with our own story to tell, that is slowly day by day unravling for each and everyone of us, until we come to the end. are theses lives recorded some where? is some one else seeing this? is some one else watching this? are we unmerited of our deeds while in this place?
cant sleep, Dan called so i guess where going to head down town and go to ultrecht when it opens, hes got a gift certificate and i will purchase some Turpanoid if i have enough cash to. (for thoses of you who dont know turpanoid is a synthetic paint thinner that has no smell) i hope i dont wake up in the same state of mind, i am in now, just for the sake of my own mental stability.
---reduce to this a faceless man echoed in shit i am the one despite my name cut out of heart covered in piss it makes me bold snipped out of the eyes the wagging tongue a ounce of spit transformed to cum cracking the smile it makes me cold what was this come alive wasted flesh full of rot what was i faded man come alive come alive---I, Parasite
decided to paint tonight, dont know why just been where my mind has been lately, felt like drawing yesterday, felt like painting today, worked on the painting......the one if you know me that has been sitting dorment for many many months, maybe even a year.(possiably longer) regardless of that, i worked on it, took a diffrent aprouch to it, maybe a better one, i dont know yet.
marigold is responding diffrent to me painting, shes aparently has taken a new liking to the smell of the paint which made clean up very difficult, i hope that there is no chance of her sticking her nose into paint anywhere, im pretty sure i covered most of the ground, if that little brat cat, ever got herself poisened by my paint i would never forgive myself. I really do love her, and shes so old, but such a little pain as she has always done, shes does nothing but make me smile when i think her.
i need to get a better grasp on my diet thing, ive been doing a little better then i have been lately, but i keep fucking up left and right. Some people have given me suggestions and i have taken them to consideration, reworking the whole dieting thing in my head as we speak, its one of thoses things thats is often on my mind.......
I wish i could sometimes drift away into that disorentation, the kind you get when a floresent bulb is burning out ,or light swinging on a chain, where the shadows dance, and the light plays games. hide some where.
at the moment i feel very seperated from reality, very pulled away, how do we exist how do we go on day to day, living like this. Each and every one of us with our own story to tell, that is slowly day by day unravling for each and everyone of us, until we come to the end. are theses lives recorded some where? is some one else seeing this? is some one else watching this? are we unmerited of our deeds while in this place?
cant sleep, Dan called so i guess where going to head down town and go to ultrecht when it opens, hes got a gift certificate and i will purchase some Turpanoid if i have enough cash to. (for thoses of you who dont know turpanoid is a synthetic paint thinner that has no smell) i hope i dont wake up in the same state of mind, i am in now, just for the sake of my own mental stability.
---reduce to this a faceless man echoed in shit i am the one despite my name cut out of heart covered in piss it makes me bold snipped out of the eyes the wagging tongue a ounce of spit transformed to cum cracking the smile it makes me cold what was this come alive wasted flesh full of rot what was i faded man come alive come alive---I, Parasite