New Years
I keep trying to trick my brain into not thinking about all the events of the last year. The More I try the more i find myself, thinking about it, and a certain feeling of uncertainty that i havent felt in ages comes acrossed me. It feels like nothing/but so much has happened in this one year that it could have been several years. yet it seems, like it all just happened yesterday, maybe it feels overwhelming to an extent.
its hard to belive that a year ago i weighed 310lbs.
its hard to belive all the things i have been threw with my friends this year, looking back over it, it reminds me how much i care about them.
mom scares me when she is sick or has to go to the hospital, every time.
i hope death is not the end of existance, just a passage. no one can no for certain.
its been over a year since mathew has last spoken to me....
Calla is getting so big and shes such a little brat! she makes me proud to get the chance to watch her grow.
im glad to have had the chance to welcome new people into my life.
i wish i was as strong as some people think i am.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things i want to acomplish in this next year
Loose another 50lbs *I know i can do this* No reason to stop with what i manged this last year.
give up red meat completely (I know this isnt going to be an easy one, and the change might have to be slow but yeah)
Reason: A. Its always been disgusting to me to some degree. B. its not very lean in the first place, C. with diesease spreading in beef, that can litterly turn your brain to mush whats the point. D. i wish i could just train myself sometimes to not eat meat at all.
get back into some hobbies i used to enjoy
Atually finish a painting.
its hard to belive that a year ago i weighed 310lbs.
its hard to belive all the things i have been threw with my friends this year, looking back over it, it reminds me how much i care about them.
mom scares me when she is sick or has to go to the hospital, every time.
i hope death is not the end of existance, just a passage. no one can no for certain.
its been over a year since mathew has last spoken to me....
Calla is getting so big and shes such a little brat! she makes me proud to get the chance to watch her grow.
im glad to have had the chance to welcome new people into my life.
i wish i was as strong as some people think i am.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things i want to acomplish in this next year
Loose another 50lbs *I know i can do this* No reason to stop with what i manged this last year.
give up red meat completely (I know this isnt going to be an easy one, and the change might have to be slow but yeah)
Reason: A. Its always been disgusting to me to some degree. B. its not very lean in the first place, C. with diesease spreading in beef, that can litterly turn your brain to mush whats the point. D. i wish i could just train myself sometimes to not eat meat at all.
get back into some hobbies i used to enjoy
Atually finish a painting.