Fragments
I know I'm just being paranoid (really paranoid), but I can't help but think something horrible is going to happen.
Its only been four weeks and four days, but it feels like four years. Okay, so that's stretching it a bit, four months is more like it, but still, it feels like a long ass time. "Disappearances" aren't an uncommon occurrence between the two of us, just... this time feels so different.
Lets rewind a bit. Back to the fifth day of May. We're on the phone, just having a normal conversation (for the two of us anyhow). Before she hangs up, I ask her if she can call me on Wednesday. She asks me if there's any reason why Wednesday, and I say no, not wanting to say the real reason. That didn't matter though, because she guesses that it's my birthday. No problem there right? Fast forward to the seventh day of May, my birthday. I'm trying to preoccupy myself with other things as I'm waiting for the phone to ring. I watch some TV, play Ratchet and Clank on my PSP, all while trying not to think about Her calling. Because I didn't want to be the guy who waits by the phone all night, even though I was expecting the call. I go to sleep and wake up the next day and realize she didn't call. I wasn't mad, just disappointed. That was going to be her present to me, I was going to tell her that when she called, but I never got the chance.
A few days later, still no call from Her, which isn't really surprising. So I decide to give her a call, but I can't get though, I just get her voice mail. For maybe ten days, give or take a day or two. Not calling every single day, but most of them. Then something strange happens. I dialed Her number, but instead of the normal automated message, it says something like 'We need more information to complete your call, please input the ten digit number of the customer you are trying to reach.' I hung up and immediately re dialed, but the same message played. I was pretty confused by this, so I skipped calling the next night. The second night after the weirdness, I tried calling again. This time it started the same as usual. "Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system." Then it usually has a recording of Her saying her name. Which is followed by the voice saying "is not available." But this time, there was no recording, just the voice saying Her number.
I tried leaving a message, but I'm shure it didn't get through. It was a week ago that I left it and I've heard nothing.
I also tried to e-mail her, but the address I have doesn't work anymore.
What's even more perplexing is MySpace. I sent her a message Monday mourning. I log in a day later and find no reply, but, on her profile the "Last Login" date is Monday. And as of this writing, I still don't have a reply.... That was four days ago.
I've found myself thinking (on two, maybe three separate occasion) that this would be so much easier if we just broke up..... The first time I had that thought, I cried _sooo_ much, because I knew that it was true. I don't know how she feels, but I don't want to break up. I can see myself being with her for at the very least the next ten years. I can even see myself asking her to marry me. [Hell, I'd probably do it now if I had a ring.]
I hope I'm just blowing all of this way out of proportion. I've been known to do that... a lot.
Update next post. Hopefully
Its only been four weeks and four days, but it feels like four years. Okay, so that's stretching it a bit, four months is more like it, but still, it feels like a long ass time. "Disappearances" aren't an uncommon occurrence between the two of us, just... this time feels so different.
Lets rewind a bit. Back to the fifth day of May. We're on the phone, just having a normal conversation (for the two of us anyhow). Before she hangs up, I ask her if she can call me on Wednesday. She asks me if there's any reason why Wednesday, and I say no, not wanting to say the real reason. That didn't matter though, because she guesses that it's my birthday. No problem there right? Fast forward to the seventh day of May, my birthday. I'm trying to preoccupy myself with other things as I'm waiting for the phone to ring. I watch some TV, play Ratchet and Clank on my PSP, all while trying not to think about Her calling. Because I didn't want to be the guy who waits by the phone all night, even though I was expecting the call. I go to sleep and wake up the next day and realize she didn't call. I wasn't mad, just disappointed. That was going to be her present to me, I was going to tell her that when she called, but I never got the chance.
A few days later, still no call from Her, which isn't really surprising. So I decide to give her a call, but I can't get though, I just get her voice mail. For maybe ten days, give or take a day or two. Not calling every single day, but most of them. Then something strange happens. I dialed Her number, but instead of the normal automated message, it says something like 'We need more information to complete your call, please input the ten digit number of the customer you are trying to reach.' I hung up and immediately re dialed, but the same message played. I was pretty confused by this, so I skipped calling the next night. The second night after the weirdness, I tried calling again. This time it started the same as usual. "Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system." Then it usually has a recording of Her saying her name. Which is followed by the voice saying "is not available." But this time, there was no recording, just the voice saying Her number.
I tried leaving a message, but I'm shure it didn't get through. It was a week ago that I left it and I've heard nothing.
I also tried to e-mail her, but the address I have doesn't work anymore.
What's even more perplexing is MySpace. I sent her a message Monday mourning. I log in a day later and find no reply, but, on her profile the "Last Login" date is Monday. And as of this writing, I still don't have a reply.... That was four days ago.
I've found myself thinking (on two, maybe three separate occasion) that this would be so much easier if we just broke up..... The first time I had that thought, I cried _sooo_ much, because I knew that it was true. I don't know how she feels, but I don't want to break up. I can see myself being with her for at the very least the next ten years. I can even see myself asking her to marry me. [Hell, I'd probably do it now if I had a ring.]
I hope I'm just blowing all of this way out of proportion. I've been known to do that... a lot.
Update next post. Hopefully