...
Living day to day thinking of how things used to be... thinking what happened and why I'm here... why did she have to go... why her? Why not me instead? Fuck God... there's no such fucking thing as him... for his own sake there better not be... because when I die... IF I see that fucker for "judgement" i'm going to kick him square in the fucking balls.
Why does life have to be this way... maybe this fifth of jack can tell me... save my soul for ultimate damnation. I hate this world with a burning passion. I am not the enemy of George Bush and all he stands for. He is a spineless worm that couldn't impress a monkey with his 'Intelligence'.
Now I want to join this war more than ever... not for the killing or for the support for George Bush. I want to go into the middle of combat for the person next to me... I want to help bring back our troops faster... and if going into battle helps that cause... then so be it.
Oh and this last part
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
People rarely see this side of me... and I don't think I mind being this kind of person... however, I don't really know how to sustain this kind of attitude. I just want to crawl into a corner and commit suicide... but that road is the cowards way out... and I am definitely not a coward. I am not loved, and no one could love me... I perfectly accept that... although it's hard. No one says they love me anymore... my friends are mostly gone and no one ever calls... the cellphone is starting to gain cobwebs on it and my brain is starting to corode with thoughts of murder and random objects. I can't stand myself yet I can at the same time... it's almost like I was never supposed to be born. I hate myself both inside and out... the patient child inside is starting to vent his anger and soon this anger will start to fall from the sides of the container i've been putting on it for years. Being teased and tested in patience... soon it will all come down to something stupid to push me over the edge and i'll just explode on someone... oh and the stupid part reminds me of school... that's probably where it will happen. Someone says something dumb to me, I get angry, I punch them until my arms go limp or I pass out, and then get carted off to jail. This is going to be kind of fun and if you haven't already realized this is one of my longest posts to date. ---I love a certain someone but you could never love something like me---
Why does life have to be this way... maybe this fifth of jack can tell me... save my soul for ultimate damnation. I hate this world with a burning passion. I am not the enemy of George Bush and all he stands for. He is a spineless worm that couldn't impress a monkey with his 'Intelligence'.
Now I want to join this war more than ever... not for the killing or for the support for George Bush. I want to go into the middle of combat for the person next to me... I want to help bring back our troops faster... and if going into battle helps that cause... then so be it.
Oh and this last part
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
People rarely see this side of me... and I don't think I mind being this kind of person... however, I don't really know how to sustain this kind of attitude. I just want to crawl into a corner and commit suicide... but that road is the cowards way out... and I am definitely not a coward. I am not loved, and no one could love me... I perfectly accept that... although it's hard. No one says they love me anymore... my friends are mostly gone and no one ever calls... the cellphone is starting to gain cobwebs on it and my brain is starting to corode with thoughts of murder and random objects. I can't stand myself yet I can at the same time... it's almost like I was never supposed to be born. I hate myself both inside and out... the patient child inside is starting to vent his anger and soon this anger will start to fall from the sides of the container i've been putting on it for years. Being teased and tested in patience... soon it will all come down to something stupid to push me over the edge and i'll just explode on someone... oh and the stupid part reminds me of school... that's probably where it will happen. Someone says something dumb to me, I get angry, I punch them until my arms go limp or I pass out, and then get carted off to jail. This is going to be kind of fun and if you haven't already realized this is one of my longest posts to date. ---I love a certain someone but you could never love something like me---