ok so anyways
ok so anyways, i relly hate life right now, i just want to fucking die.. im so sick of everthing, its like im just a worthless peice of crap, and tahts it, just used and loosed and stepped on by everyone and everything, idk what to do anymore , itslike, i really just dont know what to do at all, im so tired right now, god, i feel like im getting in the same situation again as the whole machen incedent and i never want that to happen again , i hate machen so much, god i hate him, and i dont want to loose another best friend due to anger and ok now im crying again, idk why, well actually i do know why.........i want to shoot myself right now, absolutly want to shoot myself, i just wish i had a fucking gun, im so alone, its insane how alone i am, i can even handle it anymore,i relaly cant, i just want someone to love me and stop fucking with my head already, GOD I SERIOUSLY CANT TAKE THIS RIGHT NOW, JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! ok im not having a party anymore fuck this, im going to austin to hang out with tim, even though he will hurt me too but not as bad, omg i hope i can get through this i really do, i am never having people over again, EVER, im so tired of being the 3rd wheel or 5wheel or in this case tonight the 7th wheel for christ sake, sabrina and her bf, nick and his gf and james and some slut are sleeping in my sisters bed , god i just want to die, !!!!!!! FUCKINGKILLMEPLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!I HATE SLUTS! I DIDNT EVEN INVITE THEM OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD IM SO TIRED OF BEING ALONE, I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE I RELALY CANT ......... AND I CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING, all i wanted to do was have an awesome night with firends and this always has to happen, i cant take it, i just cant, i just want to scream at the top of my lungs forever andever and never stop, maybe i should call milton, maybe not, idk what i would say as to why im upset, sisnce hes the one that gave me my trust issues to begin with, idk what to do, i relaly dont, im lost and just panciing relaly, i dont know