(no subject)
Fandom: Fairly Oddparents
Canon or AU: AU
Fic: Operation Timantha
A/N: I’m sorry this took so long. I’m having irl issues, and I was also away last week.
I'm not sure why I'm dragging my feet on watching ANW. Maybe ADHD.
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Anti-Cosmo watched Timantha pack for school. Hanging her head, hair disheveled because she hadn’t bothered to brush it, only tossing a silly pink hat atop, Timantha was the epitome of misery. Anti-Cosmo didn’t pity her so much as wonder what she intended to do. She was the most promising of all the human children they’d interacted with.
Most human children were born neutral with the potential for good or bad luck. Under normal circumstances, their luck was relatively balanced. Until recently, that had always been the case. However, within the last several decades, the trend reversed.
While the preponderance of lucky children remained stable, there was an odd influx of unlucky children. (The number of neutral children stayed the same.) In a cool, mathematical way, it made sense. To balance the good versus ill luck equation, if more children were born lucky, then a select few had to receive the opposite effect.
Naturally, this piqued the anti-fairies’ interest. For the last thirty years, they’d been trapped in Anti-Fairy World and unable to do much except on Friday the 13th. It had taken years of careful planning to discover the potential power imbalance and then a few more to calculate how to take advantage of it. The Anti-Fairy World Council, which consisted of those who seized power and refused to relinquish it, had begrudgingly decided that Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda would be the pioneers of their new experiment. Should they succeed, they could pave the way for other anti-fairies to be able to shapeshift and interact with unwanted children.
Anti-Jorgen, the size of Tinkerbell (to contrast Jorgen’s fairy form), had discovered through spying that any interaction between anti-fairies and human children, if prolonged, created an indelible mark. Jorgen and the Council must have learned about this, which explained their current policy of disallowing those children to have fairy godparents. It wasn’t that the Council found those children inherently untrustworthy so much as they didn’t know what would happen if dark magic had influenced them unduly. It might cause a ripple effect should they have fairy godparents.
Thus far, the Council erred on the side of caution and observed without stepping in. That had been their m.o. since Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda slipped onto Earth with Anti-Jorgen as their scout. Until recently, Anti-Cosmo thought the Fairy World Council might not put its nose where it didn't belong.
Then Wanda had stumbled upon an inconsistency with Timantha.
Anti-Cosmo was faced with two choices: letting Wanda in on the secret or figuring out a way to neutralize her. Grimacing, Anti-Cosmo massaged his temples and glanced at his wife, who was disguised as a blue rabbit. He joined her; the two watched the children board the bus. Timantha kept glancing around with her arms wrapped around her bag.
Anti-Cosmo felt a modicum of sympathy. It wasn’t her fault she’d been born unlucky, even if it had made her irresistible to the anti-fairies. (It was like dropping catnip in front of a feral cat colony. Someone was going to get hurt.)
“We’re not going to wait here all day for them to come back, are we?” Anti-Wanda asked. She was eating grass; sometimes, Anti-Cosmo swore she forgot she wasn’t the animal she pretended to be. He rolled his eyes; her antics had long since become tolerable, if occasionally exasperating.
“No, dear, we’re not,” Anti-Cosmo said. He raised his wand and brought them to the school bus. As the social pariah, Timantha sat near the back. She wasn’t cool enough to merit the back row, she wasn’t nerdy enough for the seats by the driver, and no one wanted to join her.
By contrast, Chloe and Tootie, who were also social pariahs, were slightly higher in status because, while they were losers, they were losers with friends (albeit each other.). Anti-Cosmo didn’t always understand the human hierarchy, but he didn’t take much time to learn it. Instead, he settled beside Timantha as a blue pencil, and Anti-Wanda became a blue eraser.
He felt Wanda’s gaze upon him from across the aisle, and he jumped on the seat to offer her a jaunty wave. She was disguised as Chloe’s lunchbox, and her eyes narrowed. Oblivious to Wanda’s concerns, Cosmo was chatting with Tootie while disguised as a textbook. That was a laugh. Anti-Cosmo thought his counterpart might’ve been allergic to reading and learning.
Timantha turned her head and scrutinized the anti-fairies. She picked them up and rolled Anti-Cosmo between her fingers.
“There’s something odd about you,” she murmured. She knew to keep her voice down and not alienate herself further. Then again, Anti-Cosmo doubted many children cared what Timantha did because she barely registered on anyone’s social radar.
Anti-Wanda, who’d been trying to chew her bottom, rolled over and fell off the seat. Anti-Cosmo groaned; he would've facepalmed if he’d had arms or a forehead.
Timantha picked Anti-Wanda up and then studied the two strange magical objects.
“You look so familiar, and I don’t know why…” Timantha mused, frowning.
Anti-Cosmo knew they were crossing a line. Marking children as infants and toddlers for poor luck was one thing. They could monitor them and pull the strings from afar if need be. Conversing with them slipped from passive to active engagement. While not forbidden by Anti-Fairy World, it was frowned upon. They ran the risk of alerting Fairy World to their plans prematurely.
However, Anti-Cosmo thought that stalling any further would derail said plans. With Wanda making first contact, Anti-Cosmo was responsible for preventing Timantha from discovering the other side of the equation until the time was right. So, really, the Fairy World fairies had no one to blame but, as usual, Cosmo and Wanda for their misfortune.
“We’ve been watching you, my dear,” Anti-Cosmo said. Timantha gasped, dropping the anti-fairies. The bus pulled away from the stop, and the two rolled backward and then forward with the bus’s movement. Before Anti-Cosmo had a chance to grab his wand and arrest their progression toward the driver’s seat, someone grabbed him.
Tootie stared back at Anti-Cosmo; Chloe held Anti-Wanda. Conversation amongst the fairies stalled as they regarded their anti-fairy counterparts.
“Wanda, what’s going on?” Tootie asked, glancing from Anti-Wanda the eraser to Wanda the lunchbox. Anti-Wanda grinned toothily at Wanda, and Wanda groaned.
“Why are you here?” Cosmo demanded, glowering.
“We’re simply here to keep an eye on what’s ours,” Anti-Cosmo said. Wanda glowered.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” Wanda said bluntly. “You’re only supposed to interact with humans on Friday the 13th, and you’re certainly not supposed to strike up a conversation with them!”
“Haven’t you noticed, Wanda, the extraordinary amount of bad luck Timantha seems to encounter?” Anti-Cosmo said, disregarding her comment. “It’s almost…supernatural, wouldn’t you say?”
Wanda bristled.
“It’s why Jorgen and the Council won’t touch her,” Anti-Cosmo continued. “She’s already ours, if not in name, then in deed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tootie demanded. “What are you guys? I’ve never seen blue fairies before.”
“Wanda!” Anti-Cosmo said, barking out a laugh. “You didn’t tell her! You’ve been keeping your protege in the dark? I’m surprised at you.”
Tootie glared at Wanda, who shuffled uncomfortably on Tootie’s lap. Cosmo shot Wanda a concerned look, and Anti-Cosmo scoffed.
“She can handle more than you think she can,” Anti-Cosmo snapped at Cosmo. “You’re the one pulling her down, not vice versa.”
“I am not!” Cosmo snapped, outraged. “Wanda, am I pulling you down?”
Wanda ignored her husband. “You know you’re not supposed to directly interfere, especially when those children could be eligible for fairy godparents. Heaven knows Timantha is miserable enough to merit them.”
Anti-Cosmo laughed. “You’re slipping. Either that, or you didn’t listen to my lecture yesterday. Those children who are eligible for godparents and aren’t receiving them are under the anti-fairies’ control. Oh, maybe not more than a magical taint, but others, like Timantha, are blossoming into the forces the anti-fairies want them to become.”
“Okay, seriously,” Tootie snapped, glaring at Cosmo and Wanda. “What’s an anti-fairy, what’s he talking about, and why does he have the same color eyes as Cosmo?”
Cosmo glanced at Wanda and then at Tootie. He seemed to be asking permission, which Wanda didn’t grant.
“Anti-faires are born when a fairy is,” Cosmo said, looking baffled and hurt that Wanda wasn’t paying him any attention. “But only when a full-blooded fairy is. Half-fairies don’t normally get them unless their magic is close to a full-blood. As far as we know, you don’t have one.”
“I see,” Tootie said from between clenched teeth. “And you didn’t tell me this before because why?”
“Because we didn’t think you’d encounter them any time soon,” Wanda said. “I was waiting to tell you the week of the next Friday the 13th.”
“What do they have to do with Timantha?” Chloe said. She hugged Cosmo; he was looking at Wanda desperately. Something had him rattled--Anti-Cosmo had noticed it yesterday, too. It might’ve just been Anti-Cosmo’s proximity to Wanda. Despite being married to her for nearly ten thousand years, Cosmo could occasionally be insecure, and nothing brought that roaring back like Anti-Cosmo’s intellectualism versus Cosmo’s stupidity.
“Ordinarily? Nothing,” Wanda said. “This has never happened before.”
“Simply because Fairy World denied us godchildren doesn’t mean we can’t interact with human children,” Anti-Cosmo said.
“That’s exactly what it means!” Wanda snapped.
Anti-Cosmo drifted closer and brushed his eraserhead against Wanda’s lunch box facade. Wanda shivered, and Cosmo growled. Anti-Cosmo smirked. He loved riling Cosmo up.
“Unless they have extraordinarily bad luck,” Anti-Cosmo said. “Imagine being born a girl into a family that wants a boy, only to discover that the man you’ve been competing with your entire life has a first-born son who’s good at everything without even trying. Oh, Curtis Dinkleberg has his flaws--for one thing, he’s neurotic to the point of a looming mental breakdown--but he’s everything Mr. Turner has ever wanted in a child.
“Timantha, meanwhile, has had the bad luck to be born a girl, be average at best in most endeavors, and knows she’s second best to a family that isn’t even hers. Sounds a trifle unfair, doesn’t it?”
Anti-Cosmo grew an arm and waved it loftily. “I didn’t expect you to know anything about that. After all, you have your own lives, and who cares what befalls one unlucky girl? Fairy World has to pick and choose its battles. Some children aren’t worth fighting for.”
Cosmo and Wanda flinched.
“We do the best we can,” she protested. “That’s not true. Fairy World doesn’t abandon children.”
Anti-Wanda ceased trying to eat herself and studied Cosmo and Wanda. Like Wanda, Anti-Wanda had an unsettling stare, but unlike Wanda, Anti-Wanda’s stare was usually vacuous.
“I’m sure that’s what you tell yourselves so you can sleep at night,” Anti-Cosmo said condescendingly. “Those of us on the outside know the truth. You fail more children than you help. If you’re supposed to be this world’s equivalent of guardian angels, you’ve sometimes done more damage than devils and demons. I suspect you knew that, too.”
Wanda hissed; Anti-Cosmo could feel her self-righteous anger.
“We help kids!” she snapped. “We’d help more kids, apparently, if the anti-fairies didn’t mark them ‘off-limits’ somehow.”
“Come off your high horse, Wanda,” Anti-Cosmo said, sounding blase. “Just how well did you two help Denzel Crocker? Or Marianne, who started WWI?”
Wanda’s eyes flashed. “We never meant for those things to happen.”
“Crocker isn’t their fault!” Tootie said. Anti-Cosmo smirked; he figured Tootie would come to their defense. Tootie was fond of Cosmo and Wanda despite not being their goddaughter. They showed her compassion and affection when no one else would.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Anti-Cosmo said coldly. He looked at Wanda. “We intended to reveal ourselves to Timantha today. Perhaps she might be inclined to fight back once she realizes why the deck is stacked against her.”
He smiled. “It’s fairies like you forcing the anti-fairies to pick up the slack. If these children weren’t so tremendously unlucky and then failed by the humans surrounding them, maybe they wouldn’t lead such miserable lives.”
That was a slight exaggeration, to say nothing of lying by omission. However, since Wanda had stumbled upon this yesterday, he wasn’t expecting her to call him out on it. She didn’t have enough information yet. Her outrage grew until she was shaking with indignation. He laughed.
“This isn’t our fault!” Cosmo snapped, perhaps because he, too, was outraged. More than likely, he was reacting to Wanda’s response rather than his own.
“Ah, yes, plausible deniability,” Anti-Cosmo said. “I would expect nothing less from my misguided counterpart.”
Cosmo growled, and Anti-Cosmo blew Wanda a kiss before the anti-fairies returned to Timantha’s side. Part of it was genuine attraction to Wanda, but most of it was watching Cosmo fume and become insanely jealous. He had insecure attachment issues, and deep down, Anti-Cosmo knew his counterpart was terrified of losing Wanda.
It was always good to remind Cosmo that Wanda had other, better options.
Grinning wickedly, Anti-Cosmo waited for Timantha to acknowledge the anti-fairies again. They had much to discuss.
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Cosmo was irritated until they reached school; at which point Wanda assumed he’d forgotten all about it. She wished she could be so blase. Anti-Cosmo’s warning had rattled her, and it was disconcerting to discover an operation like the anti-fairies’ happening right under their noses. To imply that Fairy World was failing in its duties also rankled, not to mention Anti-Cosmo hitting on her. The lattermost was probably still bothering Cosmo if his sticking by her side more closely than normal was anything to go by.
She wanted to go somewhere and think this all through, but she knew Cosmo would follow if she vanished. Moreover, she couldn’t tell whether Chloe might need them or not. Then, Tootie might get into trouble with her magic when Wanda least expected it. In middle school, Vicky had an odd cadre of fans (Tootie called them “simps for Vicky,” which Wanda didn’t want to think about.) They liked picking on Tootie because they felt like Vicky would approve--Wanda suspected they were also spying.
Tootie had a few ideas on what to do with them, but since they were all against Da Rules (not to mention illegal), Wanda had put her foot down. Also, it’d be hard to explain why four middle schoolers had randomly vanished from school and never returned.
Since Cosmo and Wanda primarily cared for elementary and middle school children, Wanda had heard variations of these lectures countless times. She tuned it out as best she could. Cosmo was already zoning out, anyway. It wasn’t like either of them needed to know this stuff.
She needed to know how long the anti-fairies had fomented this rebellion under Fairy World’s nose. Moreover, she needed to understand why Jorgen and the Council condoned it. Were they as callous as Anti-Cosmo claimed? Or was she reading too much into it?
It bothered her that Fairy World was failing in its duties; she wasn’t sure whether Anti-Cosmo had implied that it was intentional or that they were that incompetent. Neither option was appealing. She didn’t want to think the worst of Fairy World, even though she and Cosmo had been excoriated multiple times over wishes gone awry. (Da Rules had been subsequently edited and revised to compensate for said disastrous wishes.)
She looked at Chloe and wondered whether Fairy World had deprived a child in more dire straits from receiving a fairy by assigning Cosmo and Wanda to her. That felt like a slippery slope; she tried to shy away, but it was too late. Now that the thoughts were there, they wouldn’t leave.
She didn’t like questioning Fairy World’s authority or godparent assignments. It also made her horribly aware of Timantha’s plight in a way she hadn’t been before. She wasn’t sure how much she believed Anti-Cosmo’s claim that some children were “born unlucky,” thus making them suitable candidates for anti-fairies. Yes, Timantha’s situation was unfortunate, and Wanda believed Timantha deserved fairy godparents. However, to say that because of her poor luck, she’d been cursed to join the anti-fairies' crusade was wrong. It also smacked of exploitation.
Wanda glanced at Cosmo--he was disguised as a textbook again and had fallen asleep. She nudged him before he started snoring.
Wanda was disguised as a binder, and she’d lost track of which class Chloe was in. When a shadow fell over Chloe’s desk, Wanda glanced up and shuddered. Denzel Crocker was looming over them, and her heart pounded. If children were born unlucky, then why hadn’t Crocker fallen into the anti-fairies’ net? Or was it how the children responded to those circumstances?
She had too little information and too many questions.
“Hi, Mr. Crocker,” Chloe said and smiled brightly. Crocker scoffed, staring at Cosmo and Wanda. The fairies had centuries of experience pretending to be inanimate objects. However, it was different when they faced a fairy hunter. Crocker nudged Wanda’s spine, and Cosmo glared. Feeling uneasy after Anti-Cosmo’s revelations, Wanda slid off the desk.
The last thing she’d wanted was to be touched by someone she considered hostile, and Crocker made the list. Chloe scooped her up.
“Are you okay?” Chloe whispered.
Wanda shot Chloe a pointed glance and then rolled her eyes toward Crocker. Now wasn’t the time for a covert conversation. It could wait until lunch.
Lunch. Wanda’s stomach churned. That was when this had all started--yesterday at lunch. Wanda tried not to look at Timantha but felt she was magnetically drawn to her.
There was something familiar about her that Wanda couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t like Timantha deserved fairies more than Chloe--Wanda would never have said that. Wanda couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Chloe placed Wanda back on the desk, and Wanda hissed. Anti-Cosmo was hovering near Timantha and disguised as a pencil with Anti-Wanda as the eraser. Without thinking, once Crocker’s back was turned, Wanda poofed to Timantha’s desk and disguised herself as another eraser.
“There are two of us!” Anti-Wanda said, and Wanda rolled her eyes.
“Two of…” Anti-Cosmo glanced over at Wanda. “Why, hello, dear. I wasn’t expecting you, especially without Cosmo.”
“You didn’t give me the full story,” Wanda snapped. Cosmo would discover she’d left him soon if he hadn’t fallen asleep again. She didn’t have much time to coax it out of Anti-Cosmo.
“And you’re just itching for more?” Anti-Cosmo taunted.
“How long has this been going on?” Wanda demanded. “Were you ever going to tell us?”
“Yeah!” Cosmo said, popping up as another pencil. Wanda groaned. “What she said!”
Anti-Cosmo snorted. “I’d be surprised if my counterpart thought at all, let alone had original thoughts.”
Cosmo growled; Wanda ignored him.
“I don’t like the idea of you appropriating human children because you think you have a right to them,” Wanda snapped.
Timantha, who’d been doodling with a pencil and tuning out Crocker, snapped to attention when the fairies nearby started arguing. Wanda noticed the doodles out of the corner of her eye, but she thought they were meaningless scribbles because Timantha’s mind had drifted.
“You make it sound like we’re kidnapping them!” Anti-Cosmo exclaimed, feigning outrage. “That’s the pixies, not us.”
“...what?” Cosmo and Wanda said. As far as Wanda knew, the pixies hadn’t done anything noteworthy in decades.
“Never mind. It’ll be an issue later,” Anti-Cosmo said.
Wanda suppressed a groan. How many plots were going on beneath their noses that they’d been ignorant of? How many more did they have left to uncover?
“You showed up yesterday!” Timantha muttered at Cosmo and Wanda. “I recognize you two!”
“You wouldn’t want to accidentally give away Chloe’s secret now, would you?” Anti-Cosmo said, grinning wickedly and flashing his fangs. Wanda wanted to smack him, especially because he was right. They risked their position by exposing themselves to a non-godchild.
Anti-fairies didn’t run that risk; then again, humans weren’t supposed to be able to see them. Wanda wondered what kind of rule-bending or breaking had facilitated Timantha’s ability to see them. She also wondered whether it’d been sanctioned by Fairy World without the fairies’ knowledge.
“We’re not done here,” Wanda snapped, determined to have the final word.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Anti-Cosmo said, rolling his eyes. Wanda glowered and reluctantly poofed away.
“What’s going on?” Chloe whispered once Cosmo and Wanda returned.
“Wish I knew, hon,” Wanda said, grimacing.
“I never do!” Cosmo said cheerfully. Wanda would’ve facepalmed if she could have.
It dawned on her belatedly that not only could Timantha see the anti-fairies, but Chloe could, too. Tootie, as a half-breed, would’ve been able to see them anyway. Something fishy was going on up in Fairy World, and Wanda intended to find out what it was.
Assuming Jorgen would listen, she might have to visit in person again.
She suppressed a groan. Right now, that felt like a big ask.
She was uneasy about leaving the anti-fairies alone since she didn’t trust them as far as she could throw an elephant without magic. However, one of them had to inquire about Anti-Cosmo’s plots, and it’d have to be her. She couldn’t trust Cosmo to pull it off; he’d probably get distracted and forget. Her throat tightened.
Timantha didn’t deserve to be shackled with anti-fairies. Whatever game Jorgen and the Council were playing by ignoring Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda, they needed to stop. Wanda couldn’t imagine a situation in which Timantha’s life would be improved by having the physical manifestation of bad luck unless she used it maliciously. Da Rules wouldn’t come into effect because the anti-fairies weren’t bound by them like fairies.
Wanda didn’t know if Timantha was capable of malicious intent. Then again, she didn’t know much about Timantha. She’d always been on the periphery because she hadn’t wanted to befriend Tootie or Chloe. It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon that her existence had flown to the forefront of Wanda’s mind.
She wanted to have a good, long talk with Timantha. Unfortunately, as Anti-Cosmo had been so kind as to remind her, she wasn’t supposed to be interacting with children who weren’t her godchild or protege. There was a reason fairies kept away from normal humans, especially insane ones like Crocker.
In lieu of that, she needed to visit Fairy World. She would wait until Cosmo was distracted (or fell asleep again) and then hopefully be there and back before her absence was noted. Fortunately, Cosmo frequently fell asleep in class, probably because the material was redundant and he had a short attention span. She wouldn’t have to wait too long.
Ten minutes later, Cosmo had passed out, and Wanda seized the opportunity to poof to Fairy World.
She arrived in Jorgen’s office to discover the human-sized fairy pumping iron and ordering Binky around. The two didn’t notice her appearance, but Jorgen was deeply involved in a rant regarding fairies who broke Da Rules and Da Rules needing to be appended again due to another loophole that someone had taken advantage of. Wherever there was a rule, there’d be a kid to figure out a way around it.
Da Rules was over one thousand pages long, and it’d probably increase substantially as the years went on. It was good that magic made the book weightless or no fairy could consult it without falling out of the air. A giant hardcover book and a tiny fairy didn’t mix well.
Wanda cleared her throat, and Binky jumped, crashing into Jorgen’s weights. Wanda facepalmed. Jorgen growled, irritated that someone had interrupted his reps, and then looked at their visitor. His eyes narrowed.
”What has Tootie done this time?” Jorgen snapped.
“It’s not Tootie,” Wanda said, folding her arms across her chest. Jorgen stared.
”Where is Cosmo?”
“He’s on Earth,” Wanda said. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”
Jorgen no longer looked vexed; instead, he looked bewildered. Wanda seldom went behind Cosmo’s back for anything. That was why, when she’d been assigned Tootie to tutor, Jorgen had told both of them to prevent Cosmo from panicking when Wanda vanished randomly. It wasn’t smart to leave Cosmo to his own devices.
“Why are you here, puny fairy?” Jorgen asked. The weights disappeared, and he settled back behind his desk.
Time was of the essence. Cosmo would panic if he realized she’d left him. After Anti-Cosmo had brought Cosmo’s insecurities back, he’d jump to the worst possible conclusion when he discovered she was missing. Then, it’d take forever to calm him down until he found something to distract him. Still, he’d probably wind up obsessed with her vanishing on him. He didn’t take separation well.
”Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda think they can become Timantha’s godparents,” Wanda said bluntly, not seeing a reason to beat around the bush. “Anti-Cosmo says that they’ve ‘marked’ unlucky children. He also says that you know more than you’re saying.”
Her heart pounded. The direct approach saved time but also jeopardized the chances she’d get a straight answer. It was a risk she had to take.
Jorgen eyed her warily. For a minute, there was a protracted, painful silence. Jorgen banished Binky and then sighed heavily.
”Anti-Cosmo should not have told you that,” Jorgen said. He suddenly looked ancient, older than Oberon and Titania.
”It’s true, then?” Wanda said, aghast. “The anti-fairies are taking children who need fairies and preventing them from getting help?”
”That is not how I would describe it, but yes,” Jorgen said.
”And you’re just letting this happen?!” Wanda cried.
”There are far more children in need of fairy godparents than there are fairies in Fairy World to help them,” Jorgen said. His face was haggard, and he rubbed his temples. Wanda might’ve felt more sympathetic toward him if she wasn’t disgusted that Anti-Cosmo was right. Anti-fairies lied all the time. It was in their nature. It shouldn’t be possible for Anti-Cosmo to tell the truth about something so heinous.
”That doesn’t mean you should throw them to the wolves!” Wanda protested. She glared at Jorgen. “How long have you known about this?”
”That is none of your concern,” Jorgen snapped, back on the defensive. “Nor is it any of your concern what Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda do with Timantha. I told you before not to pry into this.”
”You’re going to let a perfectly innocent child suffer because she’s been ‘marked’ somehow by anti-fairies?”
”We cannot save everyone!” Jorgen retorted. “It is not your place to question Fairy World’s decisions!”
Wanda faltered briefly. She was pushing him too far, and the consequences could be dire. Yet she thought about Timantha crying over her notebook and then the reason her not having godparents being because of the anti-fairies, and Wanda’s sense of injustice surged.
“You can’t save everyone, so you take the worst cases and let them handle it themselves?” Wanda said, acid in her voice.
“Enough!” Jorgen snapped. “I will not discuss this with you further. This is between myself and the Fairy World Council!”
Wanda grimaced. Cosmo would’ve kept prodding, but Wanda knew when she’d hit Jorgen’s limit. Judging by how defensive Jorgen was, he knew what the Fairy World Council was doing was wrong. He didn’t want to talk about it and possibly feel remorseful for letting things go downhill.
”I would tell you and Cosmo to stay out of Timantha’s affairs, but you two have a knack for disobeying orders and doing the exact opposite of what you were told,” Jorgen snapped.
His eyes narrowed. “Now, get out!”
Unable to voice a protest in time, Wanda discovered herself back on Earth and on Chloe’s desk. Cosmo was wide awake and whining. He would’ve thrown himself at her and hugged her if he hadn’t needed to remain in disguise.
“Where were you?”
”I’ll tell you later,” Wanda said, shushing him before he made a scene.
”No, tell me now!” Cosmo whined. “You didn’t even tell me you were going. When I woke up, you were missing! I thought you were with Anti-Cosmo!”
Wanda, disguised as a textbook, nonetheless facepalmed.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I knew you’d panic.”
”You can’t leave me!” Cosmo protested. “What if I needed you, and you weren’t there?”
“You were sleeping,” she reminded him. “You probably woke up five minutes ago and realized I was missing. Nothing happened.”
”That’s not the point!”
She shushed him; he was getting louder and more indignant.
“The point is that we do everything together! I don’t want you going behind my back! What if you left me?”
”Oh, for heaven’s sake, Cosmo,” she said, exasperated. “There are more important things going on than my disappearing to Fairy World for five minutes.”
”Is that where you went?” Chloe asked.
”Yes, but it left me with more questions than answers,” Wanda said, sighing. “Fairy World knows something’s up with the anti-fairies, but the harder I pushed for answers, the more intractable Jorgen became.”
Chloe opened her mouth to respond, but the teacher ordered silence. Wanda was relieved; this ought to deter Cosmo for a minute before he remembered that they shared telepathy.
((Wanda…)) Cosmo whined in her mind. ((What really happened?))
She sighed, wishing she could pinch her nose bridge in this form. ((I told you that I’d tell you later.))
((But no one else can hear us when we talk this way,)) he said. ((I know something’s up.))
She wanted to bang her head on the desk. Instead, she glanced around to discover Timantha huddled in the back of the room. She looked thoroughly miserable, and Wanda winced. She pitied the girl, though she wasn’t sure what she could do for her. Wanda’s hands were tied, and she was bound by Da Rules. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to think of something. She hated the idea of children suffering, especially regarding something that could easily be remedied.
She didn’t entirely buy Jorgen’s excuses. No, something else was afoot. Maybe she ought to talk to Timantha…if she didn’t run the risk of exacerbating the situation further.
What she needed was a few minutes to think by herself, but Cosmo wasn’t liable to give that to her. Even now, his frantic worry flooded her mind. She could block him out, but he’d take it amiss after her earlier act and assume she was hiding something from him. Gods, she hated when Cosmo’s insecurities reared their ugly head. She blamed Mama Cosma for Cosmo’s insecure attachment issues.
Even after nearly ten thousand years, Cosmo could freak out at the mere suggestion he could lose Wanda.
She’d have to think of some sort of compromise before things went out of hand.
She glanced again in Timantha’s direction. Despite what Jorgen had said, Wanda wasn’t about to take this lying down.
It wasn’t like her to ignore a child in need. Wanda had become a godparent because she cared so deeply about children. She wouldn’t walk away from one who needed help. Moreover, she knew Cosmo wouldn’t either, once he knew what the stakes were.
Of course, it wouldn’t make Jorgen or the Fairy World Council happy, but that was too bad. Despite the fear of rebellion and the consequences, she didn’t want to leave Timantha to Anti-Cosmo’s depredations. Timantha deserved better than that.
-----------
Timantha was back to being alone at lunch. Normally, she doodled or found something else to occupy her time, but her sketchpad was gone. She couldn’t bring herself to doodle in her notebooks; the loss was too sudden and acute. She wanted to bury her head in her pillow and sleep until things got better or until the sketchbook returned. It wasn’t fair that some kids had an advantage over her because they’d been luckier with their parents.
She mulled over what her mother had said about her father loving her and then shook her head. It wasn’t true. As long as she was a girl and second best to the Dinklebergs’ son, she’d never win his approval or love. Morose, her shoulders sank. Today’s pizza slice looked about as appetizing as manure and smelled only slightly better.
Chloe and Tootie sat down opposite Timantha, and Timantha groaned.
“What do you two want?” she said sullenly. “I wanna be left alone.”
Chloe and Tootie exchanged glances.
“We thought we could cheer you up,” Chloe said. Timantha scoffed.
“The only thing that would cheer me up is if you left me alone,” Timantha said. She wasn’t being fair, but she didn’t care. Her eyes drifted toward the pink lunch tray and green milk box. They had faces, and it might’ve been her imagination, but the lunch tray looked worried about her. Timantha’s heart clenched. She must’ve been so desperate for compassion that she was pulling it out of thin air.
That blue pencil and eraser appeared beside Timantha’s hand, and the milk box growled. Tootie facepalmed, and Chloe slapped a hand over the milk carton’s mouth.
“Something strange is going on,” Timantha said. “You guys are in on it.”
“I don’t know how much we can tell you,” Chloe protested, looking uneasy. She glanced at the pencil and eraser set. The pencil smirked at the milk carton, and the milk carton huffed beneath Tootie’s hand.
“I, on the other hand, am not proscribed by Da Rules,” the pencil said sharply. “I am not a fairy godparent and therefore, not under Fairy World’s authority.”
He smirked. “Your move, my dear.”
The lunch tray bristled, which was something Timantha hadn’t thought possible a minute ago. She glared hatefully at the pencil, and the milk carton hopped up and down in agitation. Timantha pressed her hand to her forehead, but her temperature was normal. As far as she knew, though the pizza tasted disgusting, it wasn’t bad enough to give her food poisoning. Timantha wasn’t hallucinating.
“Okay, seriously,” Timantha said in an undertone, feeling like this was a time when they didn’t need the adults’ attention. “What the heck is going on?”
“I am Anti-Cosmo,” the pencil said, preening like a peacock. “And this is my wife--”
A random earthquake sent the pencil and eraser rolling off the table. Nothing else moved. Timantha’s eyes narrowed. The earthquake had only increased her suspicion, not lessened it.
“I wish someone would tell me what’s going on!” Timantha snapped. “What is ‘Da Rules?’ As far as I know, fairy godparents aren’t a thing, and ‘Fairy World’ sounds like Neverland.”
Chloe and Tootie exchanged looks, and Timantha snarled, accidentally slamming her hands down on the pink lunch tray. It yelped, and Timantha glanced down. That tray had makeup. What on earth?
“You may have postponed the inevitable, my dear, but you’re not going to win this one,” Anti-Cosmo announced, returning to Timantha’s table. “As I’m sure you know, you have no power here.”
Anti-Cosmo smirked. “You have that lunch tray and milk carton to blame for your artwork yesterday.”
“I wish you’d stop talking!” Chloe pleaded.
Anti-Cosmo snorted and opened his mouth, and nothing came out. Chloe and Tootie heaved relieved sighs, along with the lunch tray and milk carton. Timantha wondered what Anti-Cosmo was talking about, “postponing the inevitable.” Her eyes narrowed.
“I wish I knew what was going on, but no one wants to tell me anything,” Timantha snapped, surly.
“We wish we could…” Chloe said, casting a quick glance at Tootie, who looked down at the tray and milk. Timantha suddenly desired to crush the milk carton against the tray and throw them out. It was infuriating that something associated with two people she was already suspicious of was sitting right there like nothing had happened yesterday.
It was doubly upsetting when she realized that her only outlet was her drawings, and now they were gone.
An odd sensation filled her--it was a combination of malice and energy, like she’d downed a Red Bull, and it’d actually worked instead of calming her down. Timantha trembled with anger and resentment, and she moved before she realized what she was doing. She’d always been impulsive, and she’d lost what made her happy. That ball of fury burned in her chest, and she was dimly aware that she was glowing blue.
Timantha seized the tray and carton; Chloe grabbed the other side.
“What are you doing?” Chloe asked, eyes widening in alarm. Timantha yanked to pull the tray out of her hands, but before she had a chance to reclaim it, Tootie snagged the tray. Tootie looked surprisingly defensive over it, and Timantha wondered if the tray was real somehow. Supernatural.
It made sense, considering Crocker’s obsession with fairies, Anti-Cosmo's nonchalantly name-dropping “Fairy World,” and how possessive the girls were over seemingly random objects. Timantha was going to get to the bottom of this.
“I want answers!” Timantha snapped. “Don’t tell me that you don’t know what’s going on because you know way more than you’re saying.”
“But we can’t tell you,” Chloe said, sounding desperate and pained. “I wish we could, but we can’t!”
Timantha tugged the tray; Tootie held on tighter. Her knuckles were white, and something dangled out of her pocket. It had a star tip. Timantha’s gaze snapped to it, and Tootie took advantage of her distraction to retrieve the tray once Timantha’s grip loosened.
“What’s that in your pocket?” Timantha demanded.
“It’s a wand,” another voice said, startling Timantha. “Ain’t you ever seen a wand before?”
Timantha searched for the voice and looked back at the table. The eraser was talking.
Timantha did a doubletake. The eraser was talking.
“Time out!” Chloe said and grabbed Tootie, the tray, and the carton for a quick discussion. At least, that was the way it looked to Timantha.
“Why would Tootie be carrying a fake wand around?” Timantha said, sitting back down. Her stomach roiled, and she pushed her lunch away.
“Who said it was fake?” The eraser shot back and then flashed Timantha a grin full of broken and crooked teeth. “My name is Anti-Wanda, and I’m Anti-Cosmo’s wife!”
“A pencil and an eraser are married,” Timantha said, nonplussed. “And sound like cartoon villains.”
Anti-Wanda responded by trying to eat the other half of her body. Anti-Cosmo smacked her with his pencil tip.
“I’m sure Anti-Cosmo could tell you more if it hadn’t been for that wish,” Anti-Wanda said.
“Wish? What wish?” Timantha said blankly.
A dust cloud briefly surrounded the two shapeshifters (if that was what they were), and the pencil cleared its throat. His throat.
Timantha was reminded of a quote from an old book series.
“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.”
Something fishy was definitely going on.
Anti-Cosmo beamed at Timantha.
“I suppose I’ll have to break the sad news to you after all,” Anti-Cosmo said, feigning reluctance. “It’s time you learned what’s really going on with your classmates.”
--------------------------
“What’s going on? How come Anti-Wanda spoke? I wished that Anti-Cosmo could stop talking!” Chloe said.
“You wished Anti-Cosmo would stop talking,” Wanda said, groaning. “You never said anything about Anti-Wanda.”
“Wishes can be tricky like that,” Cosmo added. “You have to be really specific sometimes.”
“Anti-Cosmo is totally going to blow our secret,” Chloe moaned.
“Your secret,” Tootie corrected, prompting Chloe to stare, amazed. “I’m not bound by Da Rules, remember?”
“Technically, although you’re not a godparent, you’re not supposed to break Da Rules either,” Wanda reminded her. “Anything that would draw attention to us and cause someone to realize magic is at play is against Da Rules.”
“Barring all of those really weird and obvious wishes,” Cosmo added.
Wanda facepalmed. “Yes, ignoring that.”
“Then what are we supposed to do?” Chloe protested, stomping her foot. “We can’t just let Anti-Cosmo tell Timantha everything.”
“I don’t know if he will…” Wanda said, frowning. “I don’t know what the anti-fairies intend to do with her, which bothers me. Aside from ‘marking them’ and keeping an eye on them.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Tootie said, shivering and rubbing her arms.
“I wish I knew, hon,” Wanda said, grimacing. “Anti-Cosmo isn’t liable to tell me their goal.”
“So, what? We just stand around and wait?” Chloe said, aghast. “We can’t do that!”
“I agree,” Wanda said. Her eyes narrowed. “Jorgen blew me off earlier; I know Fairy World and the Council are playing things close to the vest, but this is ridiculous.”
“Wait, you saw Jorgen earlier? Where was I?” Cosmo said.
“You were sleeping, sweetie,” Wanda said, rolling her eyes. She glanced over at Timantha and her anti-fairy companions. “Something’s about to hit the fan. Hopefully, it doesn’t blow back in our faces.”