New Years Resolutions...isn't it just another way to say "I am insecure"?
Here I am. I am about to go to Montana. I leave Jan. 18th. I am excited and nervous. Change excites me but I am a perfectionist so I like to be in control of the change. Call me anal. I have finally obtained my bachelors degree and now I am off to the "real world". Off to pay rent (no utilities)yippee! I will live in a house with 3 intellectually spirtual females in downtown Billings, MT. I found a church there called Harvest Church which actually looks fun.
I will be glad to go. Living with my mom and her new husband was never my plan. I feel like an intruider. I should've moved in with my grandparents or a friend. I really didnt think that a month in the woods (Novelty, OH) would feel like a decade. I know I will miss my family when I am gone, but I miss them now and I am here.
I am looking forward to my life in Montana. I think it will be an adventure I will never forget. Will I go to grad school when I am done? Who knows?! I love learning but it costs too much money. I want to start doing it for free. Paying to learn stinks! Why can't we be like other civilized countries and have higher education be free instead of another corporate monopoly? Time to go to Montana and pay off my debt.
I wonder if anyone will notice I am gone? Like that girl in What Women Want who wanted to be the copy writer. I don't really know that anyone will notice I am gone. Or perhaps they will and will never share it with me.
I have realized that I am unlucky with love. I am going to try with all my might to not fall in love or infatuation while in Montana. I need to be strong. I want to be friends with guys without it developing into ANYTHING else. All my "love" episodes over the past semester caused me to get a 3.8 instead of a 4.0. I was in LaLa land most of the time. Or perhaps the cause was senioritis. No matter what it was I believe I acted as a total idiot the whole semester and I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't missed after all the bolgna that I lived. I made so many men mad at me, it is kind of disgusting or impressive depending on how you look at it.
Now it is a new year. It is time for new beginings. I am ready to grow and I don't want any man to hold me back or perhaps it is I that hold myself back. I just want to be. I don't want to have anxiety anymore. I want these hives to go away. They are torturous! I want to lose 30 pounds...well thats just the beginning. I want to excercise every week. I want to go to a growing church every week. I want to grow in my faith. I want to become beautiful inside and out. I want to stop worrying. I want to stop dreaming of men (well that might be a little too idealistic).
Anyways, enough of new years resolutions. I guess to sum it up, I want to be maturely beautiful inside and out. I want to grow out of my insecurities.
I will be glad to go. Living with my mom and her new husband was never my plan. I feel like an intruider. I should've moved in with my grandparents or a friend. I really didnt think that a month in the woods (Novelty, OH) would feel like a decade. I know I will miss my family when I am gone, but I miss them now and I am here.
I am looking forward to my life in Montana. I think it will be an adventure I will never forget. Will I go to grad school when I am done? Who knows?! I love learning but it costs too much money. I want to start doing it for free. Paying to learn stinks! Why can't we be like other civilized countries and have higher education be free instead of another corporate monopoly? Time to go to Montana and pay off my debt.
I wonder if anyone will notice I am gone? Like that girl in What Women Want who wanted to be the copy writer. I don't really know that anyone will notice I am gone. Or perhaps they will and will never share it with me.
I have realized that I am unlucky with love. I am going to try with all my might to not fall in love or infatuation while in Montana. I need to be strong. I want to be friends with guys without it developing into ANYTHING else. All my "love" episodes over the past semester caused me to get a 3.8 instead of a 4.0. I was in LaLa land most of the time. Or perhaps the cause was senioritis. No matter what it was I believe I acted as a total idiot the whole semester and I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't missed after all the bolgna that I lived. I made so many men mad at me, it is kind of disgusting or impressive depending on how you look at it.
Now it is a new year. It is time for new beginings. I am ready to grow and I don't want any man to hold me back or perhaps it is I that hold myself back. I just want to be. I don't want to have anxiety anymore. I want these hives to go away. They are torturous! I want to lose 30 pounds...well thats just the beginning. I want to excercise every week. I want to go to a growing church every week. I want to grow in my faith. I want to become beautiful inside and out. I want to stop worrying. I want to stop dreaming of men (well that might be a little too idealistic).
Anyways, enough of new years resolutions. I guess to sum it up, I want to be maturely beautiful inside and out. I want to grow out of my insecurities.