Come On Get Higher
I don't like that I wrote so flippantly about my breakup in the previous entry. It was absolutely horrible. I have to face that decision every day and I'm trying to remember why it was the best thing to do. But I can't anymore. And I keep having to discern whether it is the aspect of being in a relationship with someone that I miss or the actual being in relationship with him that floods my heart with sadness. I think I've figured it out. I love that man. And all my insecurities from before are so dumb. How did I let him go? What did I think would be achieved in life without having this incredible person by my side? My daydreams of doing amazing things now seem less than ideal because he is missing from any aspect of my life. I lost a best friend and lover, all on my own accord. And now he is moving on without me. While I'm thankful he has found strength and courage to face his future head on, I find myself shrinking in confidence of who I am. I don't understand how my life has dramatically changed in just a month. I wasn't prepared for this transition from believing in something and someone to feeling lost and left behind. I don't feel sorry for myself. I mostly have anger at how selfish I've been for so long. Now is my time to face the mirror and tell myself to wake up. I miss him and the only thing I can do about it now is pray. Pray and write. I carry my journal with me where ever I go so when I start missing him I can write about it. It helps me get through the tears that begin balancing on my eyelashes. Well I'm sure I'll be writing more here in the upcoming weeks because to be honest I don't have anywhere else to turn. The following song by Matt Nathanson sums up what I feel right now....
I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils and god when you come on
Hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on....
Sing sha lala la
Sing sha lala la la
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love
It's all wrong
It's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
Come on get higher
Come on and get higher
Because everything works love
Because everything works in your arms
I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils and god when you come on
Hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on....
Sing sha lala la
Sing sha lala la la
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love
It's all wrong
It's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
Come on get higher
Come on and get higher
Because everything works love
Because everything works in your arms