(no subject)
I'm feeling like shit again tonight, but that's not really unusual anymore. Certain people I've been talking to have expressed feelings similar to mine in that no one seems to want to talk to them anymore, and we've attempted to tighten bonds between ourselves because of it, to hopefully have each other to turn to when we feel like this. But I've stopped hearing from two of them recently and I just found out tonight that they've pretty much cut themselves off of contact from everyone - everyone online, that is - despite our efforts at trying to keep each other company.
I've learned that they've done this because they still feel like they have no one to talk to, and despite that it's going to sound terrible here, I'm irritated. I've also got a sneaking suspicion now that it's not that they feel they have no one to talk to, but that they're not talking to certain people that's got them feeling this way. In other words, me and the other girl who've tried to help ease the loneliness around this group have pretty much been shoved into the category of "people who don't matter" to these other two individuals.
I've got it in mind to sit and stew over this for tonight and then ignore them completely until they feel like getting their heads out of the other person's (plural, perhaps) ass(es), but I had a thought on that. What are you supposed to say to someone who does this? I could think of a million things, I'm sure, but none of them are pleasant and it'd be coming from a hurt and bitter being anyway, so that's to be expected and that's why I'm keeping quiet.
Beyond that, money is getting tight again already this year and I'm sure the next few months are going to suck once more. But, at least I'm getting off my attendance warning and I can start applying for and having a shot at full time finally. Luck in the department of housing, too. My nana has offered to let me live with her for cheap rent so long as I take care of my own food, and I'm probably going to take her up on that offer if my one roommate falls through on plans, which I'm almost certain of by now and to be honest, I'd rather she did. Last year and a few months ago, she's tried to flake on me and decided, out of the blue, that she wanted to go after housing of her own terms whether or not that left me on the street. She didn't even bother to discuss those plans with me; I found out about both of them purely by accident. I don't think she's anyone I can trust to stick around so far as roommates go anymore, but it's high time I moved on anyway. Nana wasn't my first choice, but I'm glad she's there, because I've already lost everything I've saved for the security deposit on my new apartment anyway.
I really hope that changes soon. It's gonna suck balls if things don't.
I've learned that they've done this because they still feel like they have no one to talk to, and despite that it's going to sound terrible here, I'm irritated. I've also got a sneaking suspicion now that it's not that they feel they have no one to talk to, but that they're not talking to certain people that's got them feeling this way. In other words, me and the other girl who've tried to help ease the loneliness around this group have pretty much been shoved into the category of "people who don't matter" to these other two individuals.
I've got it in mind to sit and stew over this for tonight and then ignore them completely until they feel like getting their heads out of the other person's (plural, perhaps) ass(es), but I had a thought on that. What are you supposed to say to someone who does this? I could think of a million things, I'm sure, but none of them are pleasant and it'd be coming from a hurt and bitter being anyway, so that's to be expected and that's why I'm keeping quiet.
Beyond that, money is getting tight again already this year and I'm sure the next few months are going to suck once more. But, at least I'm getting off my attendance warning and I can start applying for and having a shot at full time finally. Luck in the department of housing, too. My nana has offered to let me live with her for cheap rent so long as I take care of my own food, and I'm probably going to take her up on that offer if my one roommate falls through on plans, which I'm almost certain of by now and to be honest, I'd rather she did. Last year and a few months ago, she's tried to flake on me and decided, out of the blue, that she wanted to go after housing of her own terms whether or not that left me on the street. She didn't even bother to discuss those plans with me; I found out about both of them purely by accident. I don't think she's anyone I can trust to stick around so far as roommates go anymore, but it's high time I moved on anyway. Nana wasn't my first choice, but I'm glad she's there, because I've already lost everything I've saved for the security deposit on my new apartment anyway.
I really hope that changes soon. It's gonna suck balls if things don't.