longest poem/story ive ever written
~!Awaken!~
I close my eyes and only see white
my hollowed cries i want to expell
nothing more of a lie we live
but the tears run slowly down our cheeks
the knife in my hand shows the way
the past ive taken
moved on slowly
and never looked back
i cant help but look the same
and never change my attitude
depression is constant
in my state of mind
a fallen dream is self
explanatory.
I see the glittering knife in hand
the sheening silver highlights and the cold grip
held within my hand.
the inching closer toward my flesh and the pain
and sweat releases from
Small holes in my already
Slashed wrists..
A small prick and its begun
The slow slide of the blade
The cold steel runs beneath my finger tips.
Heart wrenching screams fill my lungs
When the cuts too deep.
I sit here look toward the sky
And a tear runs red with pain.
A small trail lingers and a glisten of light flickers off.
My eyes so filled with hatred for all
Those whom told me that I amount to nothing.
A single fire burns in my eyes
Gaze in and take a peek.
The nightmare has just begun afraid yet?
didn’t think so.
Back to my story.
I slide the blade in my hands back and forth
Time moves by as the blood runs slowly out.
Pumping veins for every last drop
Another tear appears in my eye this one for joy.
The joy of the bones in the ground
The loss of all emotions
Leavin of all those I hate behind.
Their grinning faces peering into the closed eyes of my remains
Only thing on my face is the tear still dried up when it dried up the red stain
Burned into my flesh for life to prove to noone that its sane.
10 minutes past and still no death
The shallow sickles slide through the air
As it gets too thin
Breathing heavy and hard to breathe,
My lungs wont take in enough
The blood cells rushing faster to comsume more oxygen
And the heart beats quicker.
My heartraces as the cuts become deeper
The red gel glistens in the light.
Looking for a way out
I dream of life at its weakest
The slight dreams of the fallen
Wars fought for no reason.
Dead buried for freedom.
Leave behind those bastards who don’t care.
Fuck what you say I don’t care.
The blade in my hand will show that all
Very well.,,
The towels lay on the floor beside my soon
Resting place
I lay my head back and think much more
Visions of all those I loved burned into my head..
Time slows as the life drifts out of me body.
Memories of brianne, kristen, mall times and losses
All drift by as though im reliving all this shit so quickly.
Not dying fast enough I sit up once more sweat running from my head.
And blood running from my arm..
The tears on my cheeks and nothing more to mind.
The bottle opens once more but not for meds.
Its to end the sorrow I feel inside.
The ones I love are all lost.. Ive lived enough of a lie
Time to feel truth betold.
I close my eyes and down the bottle and then another.
2 down one way to go..
I stare at the blank screen on my computer..
Reading the last ims..
As people beg for me to spare my own life..
To not end it..
The doubters saying I wont do it… as I do this
I flick my camera on
And the show goes on,
In horror the movie plays, my graying face, and lifeless body
Begins to sway and everyone watches in shock.
The once proud kid they knew is dying in front of their eyes.
The blood stained carpet and towels show them the truth.
The empty pill bottles on the floor screams the hidden messages
Ive held inside. I sit down on the floor for my final few.
The clouds above rumble and
God strikes down upon me
The one man who supposed to care and see
Isnt here he sends a wave of heat to burn the cursed, lies ill leave behind..
The room engulfed shows the terror in my eyes… I go to the camera
And cry a last time.. I tell the one I love good bye and im sorry..
The blood runs from my eyes as though they are
Reddened rivers running wild..
The glistening hair crackling under heat forced sadness.
The crys I leave scare everyone..
And I proved them all wrong..
They thought I wouldn’t do it but the pain
Ive held inside had succeeded in winning..
Now im losing a battle I can so easily win.
But I look at that monitor again once more to see the ones message I love..
Tell me that the knife and pills isnt good enough
She wants more..
The pain in my heart wants to scream out and take it all away now
With little life left… I utter a few words.
You want me dead..
So I bring it before you..
Now stop the agony I hold inside
And just tell me good-bye
Embers flicker upwards to create a raging
Inferno and the heat within my chest arrives at last
I fall to the floor
A lifeless lost soul
The bloodstained carpet crackles under the heat
And flames..
The lost feelings and care I gave this world
I simply took away..
The live I left behind is nothing more..
I hate everyone and so I showed them all..
That I will do as I say
And the ones I care about really don’t care at all..
I see the light ahead from my big black tunnel
Seems so long since I stared out to the darkness, but I knew
That this was my end
The light brought forth
Was the life I woke up to
But this dream felt so real
That I cried because the one I love lays beside me…
After a wild night of lust, me and her caressed each other once more.
I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek after moving her hair to the side.
I wrapped my arms around her, and told her how much I loved her and
How much I never wanted to leave her.
So I laid there.. As I bleed to death, from the stab wound to my heart..
Because shes lying there just as lifeless as me… but living in a world
Of a dream…
Her sweet smile ill never forget.
The pure flow she gave my life..
The only thing Ive cared for gone..
To a sleep that I can easily awake.. But perfer to not see her suffer..
I lay down beside her and hold her close
The last breaths in her lungs and her body wriggles closer to me,
The sweet smell of apple blossoms run rampant through my nose,
And her light breathing slows to a stop…
I cry once more for ive lost the one I love..but now I look forward to seeing her in heaven with me.
Were me and her are meant to be…
Together as one forever…
And not as a dream any longer…
The knife in hand and the pill bottle on the floor..
Slowly drifts away as time fades by.. The fire burns every on
And the tears still linger in my eyes.
The friends ive made have passed on , but I can look back and say ive saved them all, for rescuing them from the dreams they all forever rested in… now I see them all…
Alive and well, by my bedside…
Because I cried a tear of blood….
And decided… I didn’t want to die…
And leave them all here.. Alone…
And leave my true love.. Without with me
Forever this will remain..
A momento in history.
The day man cried blood instead of tears..
And suicide was avenged…now I look forward.
In life to see the things ive succeeded in doing…
The only thing I see….
With the computer in my eyes.. Writing this long story..
Of a dream I had when I last went to sleep…
With a broken heart, and dream…
Forever destroyed
From awakening..
From a nightmare..
The last id ever see….
I close my eyes and only see white
my hollowed cries i want to expell
nothing more of a lie we live
but the tears run slowly down our cheeks
the knife in my hand shows the way
the past ive taken
moved on slowly
and never looked back
i cant help but look the same
and never change my attitude
depression is constant
in my state of mind
a fallen dream is self
explanatory.
I see the glittering knife in hand
the sheening silver highlights and the cold grip
held within my hand.
the inching closer toward my flesh and the pain
and sweat releases from
Small holes in my already
Slashed wrists..
A small prick and its begun
The slow slide of the blade
The cold steel runs beneath my finger tips.
Heart wrenching screams fill my lungs
When the cuts too deep.
I sit here look toward the sky
And a tear runs red with pain.
A small trail lingers and a glisten of light flickers off.
My eyes so filled with hatred for all
Those whom told me that I amount to nothing.
A single fire burns in my eyes
Gaze in and take a peek.
The nightmare has just begun afraid yet?
didn’t think so.
Back to my story.
I slide the blade in my hands back and forth
Time moves by as the blood runs slowly out.
Pumping veins for every last drop
Another tear appears in my eye this one for joy.
The joy of the bones in the ground
The loss of all emotions
Leavin of all those I hate behind.
Their grinning faces peering into the closed eyes of my remains
Only thing on my face is the tear still dried up when it dried up the red stain
Burned into my flesh for life to prove to noone that its sane.
10 minutes past and still no death
The shallow sickles slide through the air
As it gets too thin
Breathing heavy and hard to breathe,
My lungs wont take in enough
The blood cells rushing faster to comsume more oxygen
And the heart beats quicker.
My heartraces as the cuts become deeper
The red gel glistens in the light.
Looking for a way out
I dream of life at its weakest
The slight dreams of the fallen
Wars fought for no reason.
Dead buried for freedom.
Leave behind those bastards who don’t care.
Fuck what you say I don’t care.
The blade in my hand will show that all
Very well.,,
The towels lay on the floor beside my soon
Resting place
I lay my head back and think much more
Visions of all those I loved burned into my head..
Time slows as the life drifts out of me body.
Memories of brianne, kristen, mall times and losses
All drift by as though im reliving all this shit so quickly.
Not dying fast enough I sit up once more sweat running from my head.
And blood running from my arm..
The tears on my cheeks and nothing more to mind.
The bottle opens once more but not for meds.
Its to end the sorrow I feel inside.
The ones I love are all lost.. Ive lived enough of a lie
Time to feel truth betold.
I close my eyes and down the bottle and then another.
2 down one way to go..
I stare at the blank screen on my computer..
Reading the last ims..
As people beg for me to spare my own life..
To not end it..
The doubters saying I wont do it… as I do this
I flick my camera on
And the show goes on,
In horror the movie plays, my graying face, and lifeless body
Begins to sway and everyone watches in shock.
The once proud kid they knew is dying in front of their eyes.
The blood stained carpet and towels show them the truth.
The empty pill bottles on the floor screams the hidden messages
Ive held inside. I sit down on the floor for my final few.
The clouds above rumble and
God strikes down upon me
The one man who supposed to care and see
Isnt here he sends a wave of heat to burn the cursed, lies ill leave behind..
The room engulfed shows the terror in my eyes… I go to the camera
And cry a last time.. I tell the one I love good bye and im sorry..
The blood runs from my eyes as though they are
Reddened rivers running wild..
The glistening hair crackling under heat forced sadness.
The crys I leave scare everyone..
And I proved them all wrong..
They thought I wouldn’t do it but the pain
Ive held inside had succeeded in winning..
Now im losing a battle I can so easily win.
But I look at that monitor again once more to see the ones message I love..
Tell me that the knife and pills isnt good enough
She wants more..
The pain in my heart wants to scream out and take it all away now
With little life left… I utter a few words.
You want me dead..
So I bring it before you..
Now stop the agony I hold inside
And just tell me good-bye
Embers flicker upwards to create a raging
Inferno and the heat within my chest arrives at last
I fall to the floor
A lifeless lost soul
The bloodstained carpet crackles under the heat
And flames..
The lost feelings and care I gave this world
I simply took away..
The live I left behind is nothing more..
I hate everyone and so I showed them all..
That I will do as I say
And the ones I care about really don’t care at all..
I see the light ahead from my big black tunnel
Seems so long since I stared out to the darkness, but I knew
That this was my end
The light brought forth
Was the life I woke up to
But this dream felt so real
That I cried because the one I love lays beside me…
After a wild night of lust, me and her caressed each other once more.
I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek after moving her hair to the side.
I wrapped my arms around her, and told her how much I loved her and
How much I never wanted to leave her.
So I laid there.. As I bleed to death, from the stab wound to my heart..
Because shes lying there just as lifeless as me… but living in a world
Of a dream…
Her sweet smile ill never forget.
The pure flow she gave my life..
The only thing Ive cared for gone..
To a sleep that I can easily awake.. But perfer to not see her suffer..
I lay down beside her and hold her close
The last breaths in her lungs and her body wriggles closer to me,
The sweet smell of apple blossoms run rampant through my nose,
And her light breathing slows to a stop…
I cry once more for ive lost the one I love..but now I look forward to seeing her in heaven with me.
Were me and her are meant to be…
Together as one forever…
And not as a dream any longer…
The knife in hand and the pill bottle on the floor..
Slowly drifts away as time fades by.. The fire burns every on
And the tears still linger in my eyes.
The friends ive made have passed on , but I can look back and say ive saved them all, for rescuing them from the dreams they all forever rested in… now I see them all…
Alive and well, by my bedside…
Because I cried a tear of blood….
And decided… I didn’t want to die…
And leave them all here.. Alone…
And leave my true love.. Without with me
Forever this will remain..
A momento in history.
The day man cried blood instead of tears..
And suicide was avenged…now I look forward.
In life to see the things ive succeeded in doing…
The only thing I see….
With the computer in my eyes.. Writing this long story..
Of a dream I had when I last went to sleep…
With a broken heart, and dream…
Forever destroyed
From awakening..
From a nightmare..
The last id ever see….