(no subject)
beca was in town, feel like a douche for not going out with her. i don't feel like drinking tonight on account of my food bag feeling like i ate baking soda and whatever makes it bubble over for those volcanoes. is volcanoes with an E like i spell it? hmmm. i have a tendency to put E's on things. like with th wourd monthE, or my dog rosco(e) i never did know how to spell his name. not that it mattered, he wouldn't have cared, i don't think he could spell, or read; just so long as i would say his name in a way that he was conditioned to recognize. that works with any creature, really, unless of course, their brain has developed past being conditioned, or has not developed enough to be condiotioned, i am not sure which of those is accurate. conditioning is part of human, well, animal nature, so was it learned? or was it there and we are trying to get rid of it? another essay for another day.
whatever. i am perfectly content with sitting in my bed, NOT getting drunk (though it would be fun if it was something really strong, no mixer, scotch on the rocks, now that is good, but only once the ice melts. it was too strong the time i had it, so i drank it slowly, and as more ice melted it got less ahrsh, so i drank more of it till the comedians got funnier, but they didn't get funny. daniel was funny. but i didn't need the drink to tell me that.
i don't really miss miami, or anything associated with it. I am so happy to be here, alone - more or less - and i appreciate the fact that i am speding my hard earned money to pay for this place. or i will from now on. if i fuck this year up, the only one - literraly the only one - who will walk away from this with any sort of financial woes is myself. I will have spent a year of college smoking dope and failing my classes, and it will have cost me over $5000 for this place i am living in. i love this place. it is great. there is always someone to watch make an ass out of themselves (that sentence was really wierd to write) i need to focus. i know i probably wont, but i need to make an honest effoprt instead of not caring and skating by. that bullshit worked when it was mandatory for me to be in school, they made you stay. but here, al different, i actually might have to care. there is so much crap to do though, and yet, it really isn't difficult at all, especially here...but i should bite my tongue and not speak before anything happens.
always remember the good hurt.
whatever. i am perfectly content with sitting in my bed, NOT getting drunk (though it would be fun if it was something really strong, no mixer, scotch on the rocks, now that is good, but only once the ice melts. it was too strong the time i had it, so i drank it slowly, and as more ice melted it got less ahrsh, so i drank more of it till the comedians got funnier, but they didn't get funny. daniel was funny. but i didn't need the drink to tell me that.
i don't really miss miami, or anything associated with it. I am so happy to be here, alone - more or less - and i appreciate the fact that i am speding my hard earned money to pay for this place. or i will from now on. if i fuck this year up, the only one - literraly the only one - who will walk away from this with any sort of financial woes is myself. I will have spent a year of college smoking dope and failing my classes, and it will have cost me over $5000 for this place i am living in. i love this place. it is great. there is always someone to watch make an ass out of themselves (that sentence was really wierd to write) i need to focus. i know i probably wont, but i need to make an honest effoprt instead of not caring and skating by. that bullshit worked when it was mandatory for me to be in school, they made you stay. but here, al different, i actually might have to care. there is so much crap to do though, and yet, it really isn't difficult at all, especially here...but i should bite my tongue and not speak before anything happens.
always remember the good hurt.