Wicked Stessfulness...

Sep 22, 2004 19:39

I'm sorry if i've been acting weird lately. I'm really stressed out. Too many things going on...


i doubt my LJ cut worked.. sorry if it didn't, for some reason the LJ cuts aren't working on my comp...

Parents... I love my mom, and yes.. i do love my dad too. Why do they always make things more difficult. even when they are trying to help, they make things difficult. I mean, i could probably deal with my life as it is pretty well if they didn't keep trying to do things with it. Example: I need money. Really bad. So i was working four days a week, even with school. That is hard to do, but i do it anyway, no complaints. My work cut everyones hours. I didn't ask for it. I tell mom, she says, get another job. Work two jobs? I didn't want to cut my hours, and it had only been one week, i may be able to get another day in. I can't in all seriousness handle learning a new job, and definately not at the same time. Mom thinks shes helping, keeping me on track. Me, i am dying knowing i have to think about getting a nwe job on top of everything else i have to worry about.

what are somethings i have to worry about?
Senior Seminar
Working
...I need money
School
...homework
Craig (^_^)
Social Life
Parents
..Mom
..Dad
(yes i have to list them seperately as well

now on top of this i am still recovering for illness AND I am feelmale and this is the week where i pay the price for it

I've been easily ticked off, and easily depressed and i don't know how to fix it.
Tomorrow night my parents want to talk to me about why i am so stressed, and i know this sounds good, but it's not. it's reallly bad, cause there going to try to help, and i am going to hate what i have to do cause of it. they are gonna make me do things there way. i am goonna end up with a crazily early curfew, and chores around the house.
They are also going to blame things on Craig, and tell me that we are together too much, and that things are reminding them of how things were "with rich" Theya re completely wrong in all of their opinions, and i can't straighten them out, cause they'll get mad if i do, cause i can't possibly be right about anything with them
Example:
"craig thinks he owns you" -parents
"well he doesn't , and he really doesn't think so"
"RAAAhHH yes he does, we see it, guys are cocky, blah blah blah, don't get me wrong, we really like craig, but blah blah blah"

I mean what the fuck, they complain ia m not around enough,yet i must be, if they can come to a conclusion like that, and any other conclusions "you guyes are joined at the hip, you act like your married..." they wouldn't know. and the more they try to help, the more i don't want them to know anything. this is the first time i actually want to be 18 so they can't tell me what to do

you know what i hate... when they say things like i am old enough to make this decsion or that one and then say... example: i am aloud to do what ever i want, i don't have to ask to go out, or sleep at friends houses, just as long as i come home during the week, doens't matter what time. I call, check in, they ask when i am coming home, i've been saying 10 lately, i decide 11 for tionight, then mom gets all angry like i am pushing my luck. they made up the damn rule, they shouldn't have if they weren't gonna stick by it... Fuck i am so angry at them..... they are always telling me how great i am doing and that i am old enough to make my own decisions and then they get pissed off and yell and talk at me when i try. why? i don't get it. it's not fair, and now is such a bad time for it. they never even let me try to get used to things on my own. if i want help, i will ask for it. Friggn school just started, it hasn't even been a month, and moms already acting like i need assitance in everything. for someone they are so proud of, they have little faith in me.

arg..! i am going to continue ranting in my head

i also need to think if i want to keep DMing mike and criag.. i dunno.... i suck at it.. i don't know the rules... and i have no idea what to do with the, i just want them to have fun... ack.. i dunno....

well.. that is my rant for now..
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