Mar 01, 2011 07:18
wow. it's kinda hysterical going back and reading posts from way back when and seeing the things that "stressed me out" are now the things i would give anything to go back to. guess i really should have listened when people told me that.
so here i am. 2011...graduated for a while now. trying to find my place in the world. maybe i hoped a return to writing regularly would help me sort my thoughts. maybe i just needed something to do in the downtimes to keep my mind busy. we'll see. in time.
feels good reliving the past through words. like going through a time capsule, reading through notes you wrote for nooneinparticularprobablyyourself. i wish i had written more towards the end of college. it was the best time. i just hope i can find a moment in life after the fact that can even slightly compare to that time in my life. i miss that feeling of being surrounded by friends. people in the house i could talk to, across the street, at the theatre...everywhere. now it's all silent. i just...sit. and think about the past. and wish i could be there again...i'm sure it's not healthy.
i know i need to get out. do. become. make new connections. but i never really could figure out how. i was always surrounded by like minded people. instantly thrust into social situations where friends just...happened. now... there's just work. and home. i never would have pegged myself as the isolated one. but here i am.
writing...to no one in particular. hoping it all just makes sense. somehow.