dear 59-kun 21
The day had started off normally enough. He stood in front of the eating establishment with folded arms and a perilous expression, warning others to stay the hell away from him. His gaudy necklace and number of rings gave the impression that he was a Yankee, as did his several-times pierced ears and naturally silver hair. However, he stayed like that with a slight tint in his cheeks until the dark-haired one emerged and familiarly slung an arm over his shoulder, throwing a bright smile to ward off his formidable scowl.
“Morning, Gokudera,” He ghosted his lips on the boy’s pale left cheek, and he was soon met with a slap, a blush, and a string of curses. He laughed, used to it, but continued to speak. “C’mon, it’s the first day of the new year! Please?”
“Fuck no,” He cursed to him, sticking out one of his middle fingers, even though he was cherry red and didn’t honestly look all that upset. “Besides, we’re out in public. How the hell would you explain this to anyone who knew it was us?!”
“Hmmm,” Yamamoto seemed to think about it honestly for a while, but then just smiled and said, “A sign of friendship?”
Stupid! The other youth slapped a palm to his forehead and sighed, walking on without him until the taller male caught up. “Go away! I’m going to school by myself.” He started on a run, with the idiot chasing him. Although he acted like this, he didn’t want to admit to anyone, including himself, that it was nice. He shook that thought from his head, going to school, looking at the boards with his friend for classes. He’d sensed something from the roof, too…but he went on, ignoring it. He just went right on to school.
…
“Hibari-san,” The slightly taller youth entered his office with a smile. “Nice to know some things never change, even though you’re supposed to be in High School.”
“Hn,” The dark-haired, similarly taller prefect smirked a bit. “Nice to know you didn’t fall off the face of the planet.”
“How rude,” The brunette chuckled. “Anyways, I just wanted to tell you I’m only here to visit today. I’m officially re-enrolling tomorrow.”
“And you call me rude?” Hibari made a little noise in the back of his throat, although whether it was of discontent or happiness, no one could tell. “Get off of my school property.”
“I know, I know,” He assured him, swiftly approaching the door. “I just wanted…to see everything for now.” With that, he bowed and left, leaving Hibari Kyouya curious as to what exactly he’d been doing. He smirked. Seems like it’s time to see if you’ve improved, herbivore.
…
The silver-haired male was settling into his newly assigned seat nonchalantly, putting his feet up on his desk already and getting ready to nap. This was a waste of time. Maybe he’d skip tomorrow. As he was putting his bag down, he noticed a silhouette passing by out of the classroom’s sliding doors, and he thought he recognized it. He leapt out of his seat, green eyes widened. He threw the doors open with a pounding heart only to find no one there, and he cursed his imagination.
Tenth…now I’m hallucinating.
But he eventually settled back down. Yamamoto concernedly asked about him, and he answered that he was fine, but he was absently staring at the blackboard for the rest of the period. From a glance out of the window, he thought he’d seen the image again…but he shook his head and told himself to face reality, ignoring the pangs in his heart.
…
When he returned home, he did his usual thing with a sigh. Made himself something to eat, then grabbed a cigarette to polish off the deal as well as his glasses, a hair tie, and a mug of coffee. He let his coffee brew as the laptop stirred to life, and got to his advice column blog thing before too long, settling at his round table with a steaming cup of liquid. He scrolled down to the section where people had been sending him letters, and he got ready to get down to it, green eyes focused.
…
Dear Gokudera
Lately I've seen this SUPER HOT blonde guy walking by! Even hotter than the mature guy with the cow printed shirt. He looks like he's Italian, but he keeps tripping over air.
And he must be some kind of big shot, since people call him boss! His golden eyes are so deep that I fell like I'm drowning! But every time I try to get near him a guy with red hair and a tattoo on his face drags him away and then they disappear! What do I do?
-Kurokawa Hana
…
Dear YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN THIS UP YET?!
That’s just…you’re such a weirdo. Besides, the guy with the cow print shirt…he’s just hopeless. Give up now and rest in peace.
As for the idiot who keeps tripping…uh…let’s just say that, unless you’re a necrophiliac, or you just like really, really, really old guys, you’re, uh, out of luck.
…
Dear Sir/Madam,
Congratulations! You have just won our grand prize of 200,000 yen! This is based from a lucky draw you have entered at a supermarket last month.
To claim your prize, please reply with your name, contact number and Credit card details for you are required to deposit a small value of 10,000 yen in order for you to retrieve your win. Thank you for your cooperation!
XXX Company
…
Dear 59-kun,
I walked up to Hibari-san the other day and I accidentally dropped my schoolbag on his feet and well…it was just supposed to be a 'girl dropped something, so a guy helps her, and they fall in love' sort of cliché thing, but love doesn’t work that way, does it?I totally forgot about all the BL pictures I had in there and, err…let’s just say that all did not end well.
Anyways...I saw chrome-chan and I invited her to have some ice cream with me, so we went to get some at the parlor by your house. Anyways, then Muku-nii popped up and I was like 'yeshhh!' and he made a 'contract' with me and he constantly takes over my mind so he can-
KUFUFU~SMOKING BOMB,IT IS I,THE ALL MIGHTY ROKUDO MUKURO-
-Do that. So yeah. I’m stuck in a hospital and I had to steal this laptop from this one guy. I believe his name was Alaude. I think he was a ghost or something. I think I’m going to die soon, too. Gokudera-kun, please help me…please. I'll never ever again bother you or your beloved in anyway...please...erk! Handcuffs. SO EVIL!
LOVE YOU FOREVERS.
-hiding in your closet
…
Dear FUCKING CREEPY MESSAGES ARE, AND I REPEAT, FUCKING CREEPY,
Okay, first of all, YOU’RE CARRYING FUCKING BL. IN YOUR SCHOOLBAG. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN?! Secondly…it’s Hibari. You know, never changes his expressions from smug Hibari. Insanity is obviously common amongst the internet.
Also…people really must stop talking about my house. And also…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MUKURO, BOTHERING YOUNG GIRLS AND ALL?!
As for the hospital and the handcuffs…that bastard Alaude is as bad as Hibari. You’re own your own, kid.
…
59-kun,
I am disallowing you from the mafia boss title that you were supposed to inherit.
Leaving your father's famiglia and joining the Vongola is so disgraceful. You just have no shame and your sister is going to be the official Boss after I pass away, while you'll get nothing at all!
Even your mother chose to leave you behind, you ungrateful child.
~NoLongerYourFather~
…
This message in particular stung, but he scowled and grew something of a fury as he replied, knowing well the kind of man his father was.
Dear Y’know, This Isn’t All that Intimidating,
GOOD! Besides, I never wanted it anyways. By all means, give the title to sis.
As for my mother, sis told me all about that already, so you lose, old man.
(You know, for someone trying to get me back, you’re not doing a very good job of it.)
…
To 59,
... I'm going to leash Decimo's cloud guardian soon for not abiding my rules by ruining my tranquil surroundings. You'd better make sure that you do not contribute to the ruckus or I'll leash you as well (or that annoying smoking redhead for your contribution).
-Italian Skylark
…
Dear I Guess It’s True What They Say, Two S’s Can’t Be In The Same Room Together,
Man, you guys are so much alike that it makes me want to fucking puke. Man, go take it up with him yourself. I don’t like the guy either.
(Or you, for that matter.)
…
Dear Sir Or Madam '59-kun',
In our ever-increasing attempts to reach new and wider audiences so as to properly saturate their minds with approved content, this blog as come to the attention of Jump, First. Jump, First is a world-wide organization dedicated to providing first class PR and advertising to any paying customer. In our attempt to reach the 12 to 25 year old demographic, we have been making forays into the squalid waters of 'internet advertising'. In such squalid waters, this blog is rather like a lighthouse, or other such beacon of money-making light. You happen to be very popular with our slippery prey, the 12 to 25 year old demographic. We happen to have a company that wishes to target the 12 to 25 year old demographic. You happen to be rather fond of various substances that contain traces and/or large amounts of nicotine, although somehow, future versions of yourself appear to be warning you about the long-term effects of such inhalation (also, how'd you do that, do you have any idea how useful that would be to our plans for total world domination ... of the PR/advertising market, of course). We happen to have a client that wishes to advertise their Nicotine Patches (now guaranteed not to make your urine turn blue, buy now for limited 'festive' colouring!). With your vicious intelligence, I'm sure that you can 'connect the dots', as is the popular phrasing in the 12 to 25 year old demographic.
Early awaiting your correspondence,
Jump, First.
(Also, there's a girl two computer's over who is squealing unintelligibly and wishes us to tell you that she, and I quote, 'loves you long time'. Make of this what you will, Sir or madam 59-kun, and please do not let her...fangirling, I believe is the word currently enjoying popular usage, tarnish our pristine image in your mind.)
…
Dear How In The Hell Did You Use ’12 to 25 year old demographic’ Four Times In One Message,
You know, the way you use ‘internet advertising’ makes it sound like porn. That’s disgusting, you know.
Also, stop trying to sound intelligence by using big words. You sound like a fucking imbecile.
Oh, by the way-the answer is no. Fuck your ‘demographic’s. Have fun trying rape children, or whatever the hell it is your company sets out to do.
As for your P.S.-are you sick in the mind? How in the hell can anyone take that as okay?! Besides, your image was already tarnished when you mentioned Nicotine Patches. If the morons wanted to quit, they’d fucking quit.
Asshats.
…
Dear 59,
How's life hanging now? Not from around anywhere near you, but actually somewhere close-ish. Your blog's practically got a cult following, so I thought I'd drop you a line. From the Sky.
P.S. Not a stalker.
P.P.S. No advice solicited, sorry since that seems to be the point of the blog, but it appears to have deviated slightly from that. How about this-which one should I learn to play: piano or violin?
-randomstranger/notstalker
…
Dear You Do Realize That You Pretty Much Countered Yourself,
…Um.
…Piano?
…GOD, I HATE THE INTERNET SO MUCH. NOTHING IS SACRED!
…
Dear 59-san,
Recommend any classical music to listen? Cause I'm tired of listening to modern hip-hop and rap on the radio. It’s annoying!
Thanks in advance!
Signed,
The CSI fanatic
…
Dear REAL MUSIC IS ALIVE AND WELL!,
Well, speaking strictly classical, I’d recommend first brushing up on Rachmaninov, Schubert, Haydn, Chopin, and Schutz. They are fine artists from the Renaissance and Baroque Classical movements. Go brush up.
…
Dear 59-chan,
Hmm? Well, it's logical enough, ne? After all, Gamma-kun and everyone else who
died came back, and so did I~
Aw, that was mean, 59-chan~ sooooooooooooooooooooo mean as always, hmm? And my existence isn't that bad, is it?
*scary smile that screams "I CAN KILL YOU AND I WILL"* Of course, if you don't
get those marshmallows for me, who knows? I might just kidnap your dear, dear Tenth...After all, I bet Tsunayoshi-kun would be just as sweet, maybe even sweeter, than marshmallows~
Well then, please get me a source for the marshmallows~
Ja ne!
-IEatMarshmallows-
...
Dear LA LA LA, I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING, LA LA LA,
HELLO SOMEONE? I’M HAVING HALLUCINATIONS.
YES THAT’S RIGHT. RIGHT NOW.
HA HA HA, I DIDN’T READ ANYTHING. IT’S BEEN MONTHS. ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY-NOTHING.
…
59-brat,
VOOOOOIIIIIIII! Fuck you, you squid!! My hair is better than yours, and I have the goddamn skill to keep it under control too!
As for your love affair...
JUST FOLLOW YOUR FREAKIN HEART, GOT THAT?
Haha, now you're fucked, trash.
-39-
...
Dear I HATE EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING THAT ONCE MENTIONED THAT,
Look man! My love problems are none of your fucking business! Besides, that was over ages ago. Hmph.
DOUBLE FUCK YOU! Fucktard. (And fuck your hair, too. I bet it’s a wig anyways.)
…
Dear 59-dono,
Please don't worry about S- I mean, 27-dono, he's just fine and will be back
by and by. I suggest that some good meditation will be good for thee, 59-dono.
-84-
...
Dear…Who In The Frack?
…I…what? Who are you, anyways?
Weirdoes are truly everywhere…
…
Dear brat,
Look, I know that getting the same advice over and over again is tiresome, but that piece of advice is actually the only way out. Be wise, boy. If you even have 1% of doubt, then you should be careful, because that 1% is what could be your downfall.
-Man in the Infirmary-
...
Dear YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON. I WANT TO HEAR LOVE ADVICE FROM.,
GOD, GET OUT OF MY BUSINESS, OLD FART!
Don’t you have skirts to chase anyways?
…
Dear 59-chan,
Just to make my point clear~
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
Marshmallows.
They're the only thing that can keep Tsunayoshi-kun safe~
-100-
*Attached Files:
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Marshmallows.jpg
Just to be clear~
…
Dear ONCE AGAIN, ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY-NOTHING,
LA LA LA LA LA. I THINK THE COWS ARE COMING HOME.
(But I don’t have cows. OH WELL! I’M HIGH! Or something. GOD, PLEASE TELL HIM TO GO THE FUCK AWAAAAAAAY.)
…
Dear 59,
Err...how should I say this...
I'm in love with someone I shouldn't be, namely my older twin sister, Rin. What should I do? Her best friend, Miku, apparently likes me, and I'm not sure what to say.
Please help! D':
-鏡音 の バナナ-
…
Dear …
…That’s just fucking sick, dude. You look the same.
It’s like kissing yourself…only it’s your sister.
EWWWWWWWW.
BIANCHI, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL-?!
…
Dear 59-kun,
The problem is am in love with Kakashi (You know, the one who’s the hottest in Naruto!) and I don't know how THE HELL I’m going to get him.
Any ideas?
I've been having dreams about him ALL NIGHTS for a WHOLE month now and am
tired of this one sided love, I WANT TO TELL HIM!
HELP ME PLEASE!
p.s Are you now with Yama? Or do you still wanna go back to Tsu-kun when he comes
back?
With love,
CopyNinjaLover
…
The postscript in that message made him think, but he soon enough shook his head and tried to forget it hurt.
Dear WOMEN.,
Just go up to the asshole and tell him! The least you can get is a no.
Also…that’s none of your fucking business who I’m with, or who I want to be with.
…
Dear 59-kun,
Dude...How do you have Shamal's hair and still be so smexy? I mean...Shamal is a creeper.
So, anyways..I have this one little big problem...MUKURO.
I died about 27 times just for trying to grab that pineapple hair of his so I’m going to ask you for the permission to "borrow" someone close to you as bait.
Because ,like you said ,capturing said nappo-pedo is good for the environment. And
yeah...I’m very sorry.
Or...you can convince Hibari to become bait...because...he throws his tonfas
at me if I don’t stand at least 25 feet from him.
Ahh...please help me, Gokudera-kun.
-hiding in your closet
…
Dear Man, Really Must Clean That Closet,
LOOK MAN, YOU AREN’T TAKING ANYONE I’M CLOSE TO AS BAIT.
Go take the emotional bastard. I dunno, gas his office or something. He practically lives in there.
Two for one! Ha ha! I approve this plan, chick who hides in my closet.
…
Dear 59-kun
I wasn't aware on how you grew up or how you learned such language... but I'm happy that you seem to be enjoying yourself. When you meet your father again, please tell him I said hello... and that I'm sorry for rejecting him.
As a person who loves you, I wish you all the best. I'm sure that you and your beloved will meet once again.
(P.S. If you feel like crying, play the piano. That always cheered me up.)
Love, Your Mother
…
Dear…Hey, Mom…,
I’ll do my best. I’ll try to tell dad next time I see him (even though I just talked to him up there, cough).
As for “my beloved”…I think play the piano is right, Mom.
Love you,
-Hayato
…
Dear 59-bastard
Keh. My sister has been really hooked up with your so-called advice column. I thought it was kinda stupid, but because you use such vulgar language you might not be so bad.
Anyway, here's my problem. My neighbor is so fucking annoying that he pisses me off to
no end. I've always wanted to kick him in the balls and blow him up. He's a fucktard who's rich and gets on my nerve. Annoying asshole.
But could you be so kind to recommend more ways to make him suffer? Or better
yet kill him.
p/s- Can you tell me how to make home-made dynamites? Gonna shove it up his
ass.
(un)sincerely- Shaku
…
Dear Step By Step Instructions:
Step One: Flick Him Off
Step Two: Yell Incoherently
Step Three: Kick Him In The Balls
Step Four: Shove Said Dynamite In Ass
Step Five: Light
Step Six: Watch The Brilliance.
The dynamite is…well, just go to the black market.
…
So, like, oh my god, hi! 59-kun~
If you answer this I will, like, be freaking out so totally bad, you know?
Cuz, you're like, the hottest thing ever, and this blog is just, like,
awesome! And I would like, totally be on it and all my 'friends' would be so
totally jealous, which would like, be totally awesome. (Lol, not, love you
babes, kiss kiss!)
But, like, anyway, 59-kun, I totally have a question for you! Because, you're like, gay for your 'Tenth', right? That's like, totally awesome because gay guys are like, totally the cutest, you know? But it's like, totally not fair! I mean, you and Yamamoto and Hibari! You're like, the hottest three guys at school! So not fair! :pout:
So, 59-kun, any chances that Yamamoto is bi? Because, if you like, choose your Tenth, I would like, totally be happy to take him off your hands, you like, now? :winks:
Ta ta, love you babe!
xxxSuperStar012375xxx
(P.S. Like, why are you even 'gay for the Tenth' in the first place? Does he like, excrete some kind of like, pheromone? Was it like that one scene in Twilight and you just saw him and like, totally knew? I bet that's why you made that scary face at him when you met! Oh my god, that's like, the cutest thing eva! It's totally like, a gay version of Romeo and Juliet! I wouldn't mind seeing you in a Juliet style dress 59-kun! :winks: You like, totally have the complexion for it!)
…
Dear My Skin Is Literally Crawling,
…...Okay, brain. Of course. This is insane. Uggh.
Look man, you and your friends can go kiss ass. Who even gives?
Who I’m gay for is absolutely none of your concern, and the way Yamamoto swings is…
…Well, that’s none of your business either.
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT LAST STATEMENT? Just like I thought, girls are aliens.
P.s. reply: FUCK THAT SHIT. WHERE DO FEMALES EVEN COME UP WITH THIS…SKJASDAS.
…
Dear 59-kun.
A while ago there was this guy with really long hair and a sword running around (how did the police ignore that one?). But the thing is, he had silver hair! And so do you! Silver hair is not that common for young people, you know? So, is he your brother or something? (In that case, how did you get 'being damn-scary' to run in the genes?)
From, WTFBiology
…
Dear GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD NOOOOOOOOO,
I. DON’T. EVEN.
FUCK NO! God, I never want to even think of that again. *Shiver*.
It is PURELY COINCIDENCE that we both have SILVER hair. And he’s scary because his voice just doesn’t turn down. I’m scary because, well…if you ever meet me, you’ll find out, ass.
…
Dear 59-san,
Recently I've received a letter of invitation to a school called DWMA or Shibusen... because I can see spirits (they called them souls) Should I accept or not? Ahh... it's all the way in the U.S, that's so far... and I'm horrible at English but I want to go... meisters...
Ah, yes! 59-san! The spirit-san who goes by the name of Asari Ugetsu wishes for me to tell you that he is very cross with G-san (Asari-san told me spirit-san's name!) and you! I think it's about Yamamoto-kun... He told me to tell G-san he won't... "be getting any" *blush* until the problem with Yamamoto-kun is fixed! He seems very aggravated with Yamamoto-kun's depressed aura these days...
P.S. Ahh! Why are there so many spirits these days? The other day I saw two pineapple haired spirits bickering while around a pineapple haired girl! (Actually I don't think one was a spirit but still!)
-Namimori Miko-san
…
Dear How In The World,
Look, English isn’t that hard. Okay, so, maybe it’s one of the hardest languages, but fuck that. It’s not that bad.
As for Asari Ugetsu, he’s, uh…yeah. Well…do me a favor and don’t talk about any of that with anyone else, okay? Also…THAT’S DISGUSTING, GAH, MY EYESSS.
Spirits are just…commonplace. I dunno.
…
Dear 59-san,
I-I wish to speak more to Cloud Man once in a while. He reminds me a little of
Mukuro-sama... both seem to have a hidden amount of kindness. Do you have
advice?
And...please cheer up. We all miss Boss very much.
Sincerely, Vongola10Mist
…
Dear Quiet Woman,
My advice?
First: Don’t. Hibari isn’t ‘secretly’ anything but an ass.
Second: Mukuro is also an ass. Kind my foot.
As for the last part…
His fingers hovered over the keys with a pang.
I know.
…
It was a quiet evening with Yamamoto had given him a brief call goodnight. Gokudera shut the phone with a sigh. He was exhausted, but even when he closed his eyes, he was still thinking.
Throwing on a hoodie to protect against the night’s chill, the silver-haired youth strolled out of his apartment leisurely. On his way turning the block, he saw a figure similarly dressed, but he was slight and had the hood pulled up. Under the shadow of the hood, he could see him smile, nod, and then turn around.
Gokudera nodded back without thinking, although the scowl was still on his face. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets and went the other direction until he caught a whisper.
“Sleep well, Gokudera-kun,” In the catch of the wind, he almost didn’t hear it. Sufficiently alert, he looked around for a presence, and found none. His heart pounding out of his chest, he tried to tell himself that hadn’t been an illusion, and the thought made his green eyes glassy.
The Tenth. He thought, his mouth falling open, and his mind suppressing the urge to simply let the boy fall to his knees. He didn’t want to get his hopes up in the thoughts of it being something absurd…but no matter what…that had been his voice.
…
The key slid in the door easily, and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
“Go on, Tsuna,” The small one encouraged, chuckling. “It is your house.”
The brunette chuckled back a bit before stepping in and letting out another sigh. “You’re right.” He looked around, and was comforted that only minor things had changed. “I’m home.”
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