Mar 27, 2016 02:21
I don't understand why I can't stop crying still. I told myself I'll stop already but it gets the better of me. These tears are unstoppable. They stream out like a river.
Today is March 27. Three days ago was the day I met Anton. I remember fetching him from his office, that cyan shirt he wore, how it seemed to glow against the darkness inside my car as I drove us to Eastwood. I remember clasping your hand during the movie. We never let go. I remember sitting by the fountain, talking with you and watching your face get illuminated by the night lights. I remember you kissing me in the car. We kept on kissing. It was already past 3am. I remember bringing you home and you letting me in and we lying next to each other in your bed. Sometimes I swear I can still smell you. Three years of being together, countless nights of being so close, I know how you smell very well.
I gave you my heart, Anton, fully and completely. I wanted you to be my present and future, to realize our dreams together. I hoped to get old with you, that we will be together til our last breath, holding each other's hands.
Damn it, why the fuck do I still fucking miss you? Fuck fuck fuck!