The Time Is Nigh

Nov 07, 2010 14:17


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Everybody Wants to Change the World 1/4 anonymous November 14 2010, 18:05:10 UTC
So I promised follow-ups! In which I discover once again that Gerard POV is difficult as fuck.

Warnings for um, incest, and Mikeyway still being sixteen, and if anyone's offended because I don't handle Mikey's mental illness very well, I'm really sorry. Also, this is the porniest thing I've ever written, so uh, sorry if it doesn't do much for you.

~~~

“This one makes you stop being…angry, I think,” Mikey’s saying, shuffling pills around on the table. “This one doesn’t let you be…sad.” He’s hesitant before using each word, the words he’s learned from the books he’s been reading, from the Wave-Heads he’s been meeting at those clubs he goes out to at night and talks about all the time, when their parents aren’t around. Gerard’s vaguely aware of what they mean, but they don’t get enough use in normal conversation for him to understand as well as Mikey seems to.

“This one, I’m not sure, I still take it because it might be like, keeping us from getting sick. This one, definitely keep taking, I had a headache all day when I didn’t. Might have something to do with the sun.” He sorts out a few more. “This one, you don’t even get this one, don’t worry about it.” He puts it in the pile, the pile Gerard knows he’s going to crush under his best boots and toss out the window in a flurry of dust and plastic to be swept away by the midnight cleaners.

“This one, too,” Mikey says, putting another unfamiliar pill in a pile. Mikey’s personal pills never really made sense to Gerard, but ever since Mikey stopped taking them, he’s been different. More sensitive to things, more likely to snap at Gerard, spending more time at those clubs. Especially the clubs.

He doesn’t like it, seeing Mikey in bad moods that could be fixed if he would just take his goddamn pills. But Mikey never listens, just keeps telling Gerard to try it with him.

“This one,” Mikey says. “Find this one and just toss it away, it’ll be fun.”

Gerard finds the pill, a red capsule with the BL/ind logo stamped in white, and he starts to stand up, to put it on the ground and stamp until it’s useless, but-

“Fuck it, I can’t do this,” he sighs, and swallows it with the rest. Mikey frowns, but he doesn’t try to convince him further.

Mikey goes to another club that night, barely making it home before curfew. Gerard’s still up when he gets back; he always stays up when Mikey goes out, afraid for the night he doesn’t come back. But he always does, and he seems so much happier on those nights. Happy, that’s one word he’s always been pretty sure about the meaning of, though BL/ind seems to have a different definition from how Mikey describes it.

“No, seriously, Gee,” Mikey’s saying as he crawls under the covers, his voice a little slurred, “You have to try this, come on, just one day.”

“Are you even old enough to get in those clubs?” Gerard asks, though he guesses Wave-Heads aren’t exactly picky about who gets to join their ranks.

“Anyone with a clear head is allowed in,” Mikey says, like it’s a mantra, a motto.

“You don’t sound so clear-headed right now.”

“Never said anyone with a clear head was allowed out.” Mikey giggles, and then he’s yawning, his giggles fading into even breathing and soft snoring, until Gerard finally lets himself sleep.

Gerard doesn’t try going off the pills the next day, or the day after that, and for a few more weeks, things are almost normal. Mikey’s still not taking his pills, but he’s settled into a steady routine of school, homework, and Wave-Head clubs, and Gerard’s mostly stopped worrying. Mikey never comes home bruised from fights, never needs Gerard to call the med unit after he’s been drinking, never exhibits any of the random violent behavior the billboards and television ads talk about in those warnings about Wave-Heads.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

“All right, just once,” Gerard says one morning, dumping his pills onto the table. “Just one pill, I’ll get rid of it today. You pick.”

Mikey grins and shuffles through Gerard’s pills for a moment before picking out a red one, the same one Gerard had almost gotten rid of a few weeks ago. “This one.”

“You’re sure?” It feels like he’s asking himself more than Mikey.

“Very.”

Gerard stomps on the capsule.

~

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 1/4 anonymous November 14 2010, 18:06:33 UTC
The day is hell.

He feels hot and itchy and wrong the whole day at school, and by the time he has to go to work-part-time at the nitro factory, trying to get ahead in the ranks early since his family won’t be able to pay for any more schooling after he graduates-he’s considering calling in sick. He doesn’t, though. He’s only got two sick days a year, and he’s not going to give one up just because his kid brother said it might be okay to stop taking his pills. God, he’s an idiot.

“God, I’m an idiot,” he mumbles, watching a line of pills roll by on the conveyor belt, the logo on each one smiling mockingly up at him. Yeah, what an idiot, he can almost hear them laughing, and seriously, he’s going to go insane.

He manages to make it out of work without having a breakdown, and he legs it back home as fast as he can.

Mikey’s sitting on the couch when he gets home, watching TV. “Hey, Gee.”

Gerard grumbles and flops down onto the couch next to him.

“How was your day?” Mikey’s looking up at him expectantly, and Gerard stares back, trying to figure out what he’s expecting.

“What’s that look for?” Gerard finally asks, instead of answering.

Mikey frowns. “Y’know, just. Feel any different?”

“Yeah, lousy. I don’t know how you stand it, doesn’t it make you crazy?”

Mikey’s frown deepens, if only a little. “You mean you didn’t…” Mikey waves his hand the way he does when he’s looking for a word before finally settling on a weird gesture to his crotch.

Gerard blinks. “What? No, I don’t have to piss. Is that what it’s supposed to do?”

Mikey rolls his eyes. “No, it’s like-you’re stupid,” he says, and then he’s leaning over and grabbing between Gerard’s legs.

Gerard yelps and jerks away, pushing at Mikey’s arm. “The fuck?”

“Come on, Gee, it’s awesome, just hold still.”

“Mikey!” Gerard shoves him away again, standing up. “I have homework.”

Mikey starts to say something, but Gerard doesn’t let him, turning to go to the bedroom and locking the door.

There’s a knock on the door an hour later, when Gerard’s just sitting on the edge of the bed, glaring at the calculus in his lap.

“Gee? It’s my room too, you can’t keep me out forever.”

Gerard sighs, but he’s never been able to actually be mad at Mikey, even when he tries to assault his groin, and he gets up to turn off the lock switch.

They do their homework together for a while, sitting on their respective beds, until Mikey finishes his (he’s always done first, which Gerard wants to blame on the fact that Mikey just has less work, but it’s hard to deny that Mikey’s a lot smarter than he lets on) and goes to sit next to Gerard, leaning his head on his shoulder to look at the problem set.

“Fuck integrals,” Gerard says, not even caring about the sudden closeness. Other than the random groin assaults, they’ve never really been shy about contact.

“Yeah,” Mikey agrees, and puts an arm over his shoulder, leaning even more.

“I’m gonna fall over if you keep this up,” Gerard says, but he doesn’t make to shove him off.

Mikey just hums into Gerard’s neck, which-okay, now it was starting to get weird, and that itchy feeling he’d been trying to get rid of all day was starting to come back.

“Mikey,” Gerard says, trying to make it a warning, but apparently Mikey takes it as an invitation to nuzzle his head against his collarbone. “I’m trying to work.”

Mikey shoves the books out of Gerard’s lap. “I’m trying to show you something.”

“You’re crazy, this isn’t normal, you’re just-“

“I’m just doing what I would be doing normally, without all those pills fucking with my head. You really think the medication makes you you?”

“No, but-“

And then Mikey kisses him.

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Everybody Wants to Change the World 3/4 derp derp I know how to change titles anonymous November 14 2010, 18:08:35 UTC
He knows what kissing is, knows their parents do it sometimes, but that’s always a quick peck on the cheek or lips, not like what Mikey’s doing now, leaning in and putting a hand on the back of Gerard’s head and sucking on his lower lip and Gerard can’t move, just freezing up and waiting for Mikey to back off, because this was weird.

Not bad, though. Just weird.

Mikey finally leans back after a minute and says, “Y’know, you’re supposed to kiss back.”

Gerard just stares back, mouth hanging open, trying to find words he usually doesn’t have to search for.

“Gee,” Mikey says, snapping his fingers in Gerard’s face. “Wake up. There’s kissing going on. It’s kind of important.”

“Uh,” Gerard starts, and Mikey seems to take that as acknowledgement that he’s still self-aware, because then he’s leaning back in again, grabbing Gerard’s shoulder and shoving his-his tongue in Gerard’s mouth. What.

“What,” Gerard tries to say around Mikey’s tongue, but it just morphs into a groan as the tongue licks over his teeth, connects with his own tongue, and it’s around then that Gerard finally tries to kiss back.

It’s sloppy, noses bumping and too much saliva and neither of them can stay at one speed, but sometimes Mikey will suck on just the right spot to make Gerard moan, and once or twice Gerard even gets a noise out of Mikey, and there’s something about this that feels so right, so free.

“Hey,” Mikey says dreamily, his hand dropping from Gerard’s neck to slide down his body until it reaches his thigh. “You gonna run away this time?”

If speaking was difficult, moving is even worse; he can’t even imagine trying to walk out the door right now. He shakes his head.

“Good.” And then Mikey’s rubbing at his crotch for a moment before starting to work on his belt.

It’s impressive how quickly Mikey can get rid of a belt with one hand, and for a moment Gerard’s wondering just how many belts he’s had to practice with, but he has to push that unpleasant thought out of his head as soon as he can, because suddenly his fly’s undone and Mikey’s sliding a hand into his boxers.

“So what are you-“ Gerard tries, but then Mikey grabs his dick, and his whole body jerks involuntarily and he can’t remember how he was going to finish his question.

“Less talk,” Mikey mumbles into his ear, and yeah, Gerard can get behind that, just so long as Mikey keeps his hand on his cock like that. He hadn’t even noticed how hard it had gotten, which was perfectly excusable, he was busy being distracted by the whole kissing thing, but god.

Then Mikey starts stroking, up and down, slowly, twisting his wrist in this little motion he must have been practicing, from the way he smirks and says “Good, yeah?” when Gerard gasps. He wants to answer, Yeah, so good, keep going, please, but then Mikey takes his hand away and all he can manage is some weird broken noise.

“Come on, Gee, up on the bed.” Mikey shoves until Gerard snaps himself out of it enough to scoot back onto the bed, nearly braining himself on the headboard. “Why’d we have to-“ he starts, but then Mikey is on top of him, kissing down his neck and grinding his hips down and oh, that’s why. Gerard needs to just stop asking questions.

Mikey’s got his pants undone by now, and he’s gradually pulling them down between kisses. “Get yours off,” he mutters in his ear at one point, and he doesn’t need to ask twice. Then, they’re both pantsless and boxers-less, and it’s not like Gerard’s never seen another dick before, but he’s never seen one like this, hard and red and something about Mikey’s just looks fucking mouthwatering.

He doesn’t have much time to finish wondering the implications of that thought, though, because Mikey’s lowering his hips and sliding their cocks together, and fuck, fuck, how has he not known about this all his life?

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Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 anonymous November 14 2010, 18:09:43 UTC
He gasps out Mikey’s name a few times, but it just degenerates into a drone of vowels and hitched breaths as Mikey strokes both of their cocks with one bony little hand, and it’s difficult not to just buck his hips until Mikey falls off the bed.

Mikey’s whispering in Gerard’s ear again, and it takes him about a minute to notice and another minute to start putting meanings to the words, but he finally picks it up around “-back of the club, and he just got on his knees and sucked my dick, do you have any idea how-god, wanna do that to you, Gee, you need to feel it, it’s so-“

And then it feels like every muscle in his body is tensing up and releasing, and Gerard has to shut his eyes against it, his breath leaving his body all at once and his hands fisting the sheets until he thinks he might be tearing something, and he can hear Mikey cutting off his story to groan loudly and shove his hips down with more force than before, and by the time Gerard’s able to open his eyes again he realizes they’re both very, very sticky and probably should have taken off their shirts at some point.

Mikey’s collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily into the side of his neck and kissing it every now and then. Gerard finally works up the energy to move his arms, and he wraps them around Mikey’s shoulders. Mikey hums happily.

“Wow,” Gerard manages after a few minutes of just lying together.

Mikey sits up, just enough to look Gerard in the face. “I know, right?”

They get up to clean up and change clothes after a little while longer-Gerard thinks he might have fallen asleep, but he’s not sure. Then they’re sitting on opposite beds again, facing each other, toes touching.

“So, that’s…” Gerard starts, waving his hand to search for a word. “What was that?”

“Sex,” Mikey answers simply, which, wow, not the answer he was expecting.

Mikey probably sees the confused look on his face, so he graciously follows it up. “It’s…not like how we were taught. The pills, they keep us from wanting things, like food, or fun, or-“

“Or sex,” Gerard finishes. “So they’re just…hiding all this from us?”

Mikey shrugs. “It doesn’t seem like they’re hiding it, more like…making us not want it. Which is even worse, because if they were hiding things, everyone would be after them and it’d all go to hell fast. This is just…totally keeping anyone from caring. Erasing it.”

“We should tell people,” Gerard says, “Tell everyone we know to just stop taking the pills, it’ll-“

“We’re breaking the law, you realize that? Someone will rat us out if you try to start a whole movement by yourself. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not be exterminated.”

Gerard sighs, his shoulders slumping. “What are we supposed to do, then?”

“Well,” Mikey says, leaning in close. “I can tell you which pills to stop taking, and we can go to a club tomorrow night. How’s that?”

Gerard leans back, pressing his forehead to Mikey’s. “Recruiting me into the ranks of the Wave-Heads, are you?”

Mikey grins. “We’re glad to have you, sunshine.”

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 cold_clarity November 15 2010, 00:38:35 UTC
nice!

thanks for continuing this.

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 anonymous November 15 2010, 02:59:29 UTC
Glad you liked it! Hopefully parts 3 and 4 will get started soon.

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 violin_road November 15 2010, 06:01:02 UTC
I have no idea why I stayed anonymous above, because seriously, I want to back my effusive praise with my name, here. I am in love love love with this universe, and I can't wait to see the full process, how discovering masturbation eventually leads to being on the run in the desert! Please, please, keep going ♥

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 anonymous November 15 2010, 06:30:53 UTC
eeee THANK YOU AGAIN. Sexual rebellion is really interesting to me, probably for all the wrong reasons, but I'm definitely trying to make sure it's more of an actual means of fighting against BLI rather than just "IT'S A KINKMEME EVERYTHING NEEDS PORN."

Frank's is going to be interesting, I think. I've never written his POV before, and I already have sort of an idea of how it's going to go, so it should be fun. I really like writing in this verse, so hopefully I'll be able to stick it to the end. Awesome comments like yours keep me going <3

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 anonymous November 15 2010, 09:06:22 UTC
Ngh that was so hot and awesome!

I can't wait for more it's amazig!

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 itsthequietone November 19 2010, 04:18:15 UTC
It just keeps getting better! It's all so new to them, and it's like they're waking up from a cloudy dream into a world of sensation, and we get to see it with them. Great job!

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 anonymous November 19 2010, 04:23:27 UTC
Heee thank you so much! When I first saw the prompt I was like "THIS IS MY DRUG KINK AND MY REPRESSION KINK ALL ROLLED INTO ONE, THIS IS GREAT \o/" but it kind of turned all plotty on me. That's what I get for coming straight out of never writing porn before, I guess.

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 gala_apples December 17 2010, 04:48:10 UTC
I'm sorry it took me so long to read this, but this was fucking AWESOME! I really love Gerard's immediate reaction being WE NEED TO TELL EVERYONE, LETS REBEL AND SAVE THE WORLD! and Mikey's the logical one that's like "that's really not gonna work". Are you still considering doing Frank? (and Ray???)

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 anonymous December 17 2010, 04:52:43 UTC
LATE COMMENTS ARE BETTER THAN NO COMMENTS, YOU'RE THE BEST.

But yeah I kind of. Have put Frank's bit on hold for now? I still have it open in a document, but I am writing this other Killjoys fic that ATE MY BRAIN and is currently 17k words and counting, so. It could be a little while. But I really love this universe and would love to keep playing with it, so it'll happen! Eventually! Possibly once finals are over.

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 gala_apples December 17 2010, 22:48:11 UTC
dude, that's awesome! if you ever feel like deanoning i will totally follow you with glee and eat all your fic. (eat plastic surgery? blow an artery? [honest to god, i can't think of the word eat without thinking plastic surgery, and then all the lyrics start]) the 17k, whatever the details, or Frank learning about his options.

Good luck with your finals!

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 teh_slush December 17 2010, 22:50:25 UTC
Ehhhh fuck it, I only anon'd in the first place because it was my first porno and I was embarrassed and I told the only person I was really hiding from like, a week after I posted anyway.

lol, hi.

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Re: Everybody Wants to Change the World 4/4 gala_apples December 17 2010, 22:57:48 UTC
*snorts* fancy meeting you here! lol. But yeah, great fic, you totally can't tell it was your first time writing smut. And of course i'm interested in reading this 17k of killjoys *grins*

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