this is what i want...

[soul_void]

my life is at a defining moment. it could be forever changed as i know it. for better or for worse. but how can i pass judgement when i have not even considered the options. I know the price; i know the commitment. What is it i should do. I need a guiding force; i need wisdom and courage to do the right thing. what is the "right" thing? is it what i want or what i need? can i survive it? shall i make another suffer becasue of my possible failure? I want to. It feels right; it feels grown up. Am i ready? Could i make the changes and sacrifices needed to support it? Will she stay by my side? will it matter what others thinkg about me? Can they accept my decision to go forth? Will they support me and be by my side when i need them the most? I dont even know it yet but it feels like a part of me inside. The connection yet small, has been established. Will the bond hold? Will the courage last and will i be alone in the end? I cannot fail; i cant. It would be a coward thing to do. Give up yet? Before it has even begain? I want her to be there with me when times are rough. I want het to be there with me when i am feeling down and alone. I promised her my life and my soul. I am hers and she is mine. I cannot loose that in which i love the most. All my eggs are in her basket. Are they safe? Is my heart ready for the journey? Is hers? We are so young in the grand sceme of things. But my love is greater than she knows. Greater than i realize? Greater than i hoped? Or weaker? Is this just the beginning party? Will it calm? will it die? I cannot think about that. I know i need her; i know she needs me. I want to change her outlook. I know she can love me; i know she is a good person. She is afraid to show it. Even to me. Every time she makes a choice I feel as if i made an impact. Every breath she can take knowing that i am there with her; by her side makes it better. I need the renforcement. I need the same love I give her. My heart doesnt give up. Nor shall hers. I want to be with her forever. I want to make her life a happier place to be. Her outlook; her faith in me. Her faith and hope in herself. She cannot give up. I cannot let her stray a beaten path. It is too easy to go that way. I want her to think about what is good for her. Instant gratification isnt always good. I want her to picture a future with me and with possibly another. I want her to trust me. Have faith in my love, have faith in oneanother.

I will ALWAYS love her. No matter what. She is what i was looking for. I am what she has wanted.

She COMPLETES me. She fills the void in my heart. I want to fill hers.

I love her much.