1st entry..
well well well.. first entry on livejournal. didn't quite imagine that blogging here would be like this. and all of a sudden, it's past 1am! omg.. what exactly have i been doing?! well.. erm.. drying the airplants? =/ lol. ok, sudden onslaught of headache. arghh
it's 9 days to prelims.. sigh. i've kinda lost the motivation to study. i don't have a plan.. and been wanting to let it all out for a long time but didn't quite want to blog on my old blog.. i have 3 blogs with blogspot now in disuse.. sigh. well i guess ppl wont be finding this blog anytime soon so i can let stuff out. it's funny how i wanna blog but when i finally get down to doing it, it's like i can't express myself. it's all tied up inside.. in knots.. and it seems lik i can't untangle em.
firstly, im kinda upset with myself -- ok, make that VERY upset with myself, for my lack of motivation and discipline recently. it's like, i live to watch MyLovelySamsoon. and even now, i'm startin to lose passion for it cuz i know i shldnt be getting distracted at this point of time. it's like.. sigh, we're almost coming to the end of J2. when i think about it i get all morose and shocked at how time has passed. it seemed only last week that i was jumping in joy at my O lvl results.. and only yesterday that i was still having fun in j1.. it's so mind-boggling.. then i think about how i wasted my j1, how i wasted june this year.. and how i'm wasting the days leading up to prelims, and eventually, A lvls. it's just so painful to think of all the preparation and practice that i could've done during that time.. it's so disheartening to think of the stupid things i've done.
sigh.. well 2day i had quite abit of shit going for me.. inferiority complex and identity crisis coming hand-in-hand.. i dno why i always kena identity crisis right before exams =.= maybe it's cuz im slacking and i start to wonder, what's happening to me? why am i like this? den i can't answer it, and i'm plunged into a vortex of despair, confusion, hopelessness.. etc too many things going on inside me. blahh.. i ventured into the past quite a bit today. read some of my old chats, old documents from previous years. it didnt really bring back much memories.. cuz i think many of my old memories have been washed away.. but it just made me wonder about the girl i was back then.. and comparing her to the girl i am now.. how i've changed. in fact i don't even know who i am now, so i cldnt really compare.. but i didnt really like myself back then. lik when i read the documents.. i was like.. omg ok.. yucks. that's how i was like back then. silly, immature, all-assuming.. blah.. the list goes on.
but i guess.. one shldnt cry over split milk yeah? especially if it's alr gone sour..like what's the point right.
thanks kev. =)
after talking to kev i feel alright again. feel hopeful again. :D sigh.. it's been ages since i last poured out my heart like that. and to imagine that it's only the 2nd time we're talking again after 2+ years of non-contact? wow. proves we're really buddies.. only really tight frens could resume chat so easily after a long period of silence. feels good, it really does. =) im happy to have a fren like kev! XD
yep, JUST frens. :p i've haf enough of games.. really had enough. keeping it simple is the best. it feels better too.. better without all the games..
*exhales*
ok i guess my concern now shld be my prelims.. mock chem prelim on sunday. ive got lik physical, inorganic, organic and foodchem to prepare.. wow.. plus all my bio and math.. and only 9 days left! gahh.
hmm.. well guess i shld end my post now. it's kinda loooong huh. and following no particular direction..
you didn't lose your importance to me that early. it's funny cuz i tot i'd gotten over you. but i guess not. since listening to certain songs makes me remember the feelings. and till the feelings vanish, you won't either. so i hope that ure doing well..
it's 9 days to prelims.. sigh. i've kinda lost the motivation to study. i don't have a plan.. and been wanting to let it all out for a long time but didn't quite want to blog on my old blog.. i have 3 blogs with blogspot now in disuse.. sigh. well i guess ppl wont be finding this blog anytime soon so i can let stuff out. it's funny how i wanna blog but when i finally get down to doing it, it's like i can't express myself. it's all tied up inside.. in knots.. and it seems lik i can't untangle em.
firstly, im kinda upset with myself -- ok, make that VERY upset with myself, for my lack of motivation and discipline recently. it's like, i live to watch MyLovelySamsoon. and even now, i'm startin to lose passion for it cuz i know i shldnt be getting distracted at this point of time. it's like.. sigh, we're almost coming to the end of J2. when i think about it i get all morose and shocked at how time has passed. it seemed only last week that i was jumping in joy at my O lvl results.. and only yesterday that i was still having fun in j1.. it's so mind-boggling.. then i think about how i wasted my j1, how i wasted june this year.. and how i'm wasting the days leading up to prelims, and eventually, A lvls. it's just so painful to think of all the preparation and practice that i could've done during that time.. it's so disheartening to think of the stupid things i've done.
sigh.. well 2day i had quite abit of shit going for me.. inferiority complex and identity crisis coming hand-in-hand.. i dno why i always kena identity crisis right before exams =.= maybe it's cuz im slacking and i start to wonder, what's happening to me? why am i like this? den i can't answer it, and i'm plunged into a vortex of despair, confusion, hopelessness.. etc too many things going on inside me. blahh.. i ventured into the past quite a bit today. read some of my old chats, old documents from previous years. it didnt really bring back much memories.. cuz i think many of my old memories have been washed away.. but it just made me wonder about the girl i was back then.. and comparing her to the girl i am now.. how i've changed. in fact i don't even know who i am now, so i cldnt really compare.. but i didnt really like myself back then. lik when i read the documents.. i was like.. omg ok.. yucks. that's how i was like back then. silly, immature, all-assuming.. blah.. the list goes on.
but i guess.. one shldnt cry over split milk yeah? especially if it's alr gone sour..like what's the point right.
thanks kev. =)
after talking to kev i feel alright again. feel hopeful again. :D sigh.. it's been ages since i last poured out my heart like that. and to imagine that it's only the 2nd time we're talking again after 2+ years of non-contact? wow. proves we're really buddies.. only really tight frens could resume chat so easily after a long period of silence. feels good, it really does. =) im happy to have a fren like kev! XD
yep, JUST frens. :p i've haf enough of games.. really had enough. keeping it simple is the best. it feels better too.. better without all the games..
*exhales*
ok i guess my concern now shld be my prelims.. mock chem prelim on sunday. ive got lik physical, inorganic, organic and foodchem to prepare.. wow.. plus all my bio and math.. and only 9 days left! gahh.
hmm.. well guess i shld end my post now. it's kinda loooong huh. and following no particular direction..
you didn't lose your importance to me that early. it's funny cuz i tot i'd gotten over you. but i guess not. since listening to certain songs makes me remember the feelings. and till the feelings vanish, you won't either. so i hope that ure doing well..