(Untitled)

[sadoslash]

Characters: Okita Sougo and Itou Kamotaro (later on Kondo Isao and Hijikata Toushirou)
Location: Itou's room
Rating: PG...I accidentally typed pH. Acidic?
Time: January 17th - January 18th
Description: Slumber party time. No homo.

Comments

THE MORNING AFTER;

[harrasses]

[ Lugging around a variety of different colored vinyl bags, he made his way towards Itou’s room at an unhurried and leisurely pace. The bags were full of over-copious amounts of several types of breakfast foods and their smells were wafting and overpowering the hallway as he walked. It was silent for the most part as he was lost in thought. Between this visit and …. Questioning Hijikata’s everything..

… this really was a heavy job.

Glancing over his shoulder momentarily, he musters up a couple of words between his strides. ]

This is it? [ He side directs his attention to the vice commander before back towards the door. And before receiving any sort of confirmation, puts himself into action. Forgetting about commonplace manners, he twists the door knob, recklessly prying it open belligerently with full force. The door knocks back with a loud thud before he makes his boisterous greeting. ]

SENSEI!!! I BROUGHT FOOD! I hope you’re feeling hungry! [ He also notices Sougo there-- ] So this is where you were! Don’t worry, we brought enough for everyone!

[ … what is courtesy? ]

Re: THE MORNING AFTER;

[mayotaku]

Ah. Sougo's here as well.

[. . .]

Kondo-san, I'll leave it to you.

[He has had enough of Sougo in Death City as it is. Not only would Hijikata suffer the normal pain and embarrassment coming from the hands of the little terrorist, he'd have to deal with the snark-ass attitude of Itou at the same time.

Hijikata would like to pass on hell, please.

He was quickly turning on his heel to leave before someone could stop him.]

Re: THE MORNING AFTER;

[thricepawned]

[So there's Sougo and Itou on the bed, sprawled together in a drunken mess. Itou's eyeglasses are askew and he's hugging an empty bottle of sake to his chest. It almost looks harmless, except hell has no wrath compared to these two woken up.]

[If there is one thing one should never do to Itou Kamotaro, it's barging into his territory while he's sleeping. At the shouting, the blond jolts to sit up and, in one instinctive motion, hurls the bottle with violent strength at the intruder.]

[His aim is a little off since he's half asleep, though. Might catch someone on the crotch instead.]

SHUT UP.

[Oh, god, his head is killing him. Itou keels over looking like death, landing heavily on Sougo in the process, whatever Sougo might be doing.]

[sadoslash]

[ Sougo was using Itou as a pillow, his legs dangling over the side of the bed -- that is until Itou made the sudden movement and nearly knocks him onto the floor. But it's his commander's obnoxiously loud voice that makes the headache even worse.

And then Hijikata's existence. ]

HIJIKATA!!

[ He grabs the nearest thing he can -- Itou's annoyingly cute cat plushie -- and lobs it directly at his vice commander -- grimacing when Itou crashes into him afterward and firmly pushing him off. Fingertips pinch the bridge of his nose. ]

Where's my bazooka?

[harrasses]

[ Their reactions comes off a surprise to him (though, logically, it really shouldn’t), but despite it all he keeps his positive attitude at a maximum high and his volume at an even newer high. ] I was thi- ah- [ Seeing Hijikata attempting to recede, he stops in his speech, turning around. He reaches out as an attempt to pull him back but is soon met with a sake bottle to his as-

Questionable area. It wedges in surprisingly (and with miraculous precision) deep despite his layers of clothes and in the process he ends up toppling towards the demon vice in a flurried state of mind. ]

[mayotaku]

K-KONDO-SAN!

[turning around to hold onto his fallen commander and--

oh, he really didn't need to see that]

Don't worry, I will avenge you--

[and suddenly he was beaned by a cute cat plushie.

What.]

. . . what the hell is this?

[thricepawned]

[He tumbles off Sougo in a gigantic ball of pain and whimpers as he lands on the ground with a thud. Groans.]

[What are they even doing here. What is he even doing here. Where is this. Who is he. Oh god where is his arm--]

You don't have a bazooka here but I'll lend you kitchen knives. [croaks] These infidels need to be taught a lesson. [crawls until he can see the trespassers from beyond the bed, and squints with difficulty at Kondo's ass.]

[Oh god. He groans again.] Someone bleach my eyes.

[sadoslash]

[ Wow, Itou. Just....wow. With aim like that, it's no surprise that you don't like women. It's only a passing thought before he focuses on his commander. ]

Kondo-san!

[ Sougo's anger passes and becomes something akin to alarm. With an urgency as though their commander had been mortally wounded, he fights and struggles with the blankets that have somehow managed to engulf part of his body. Kicking, thrashing, struggling -- until he falls off the other side of the bed and onto the floor.

Ow.

But after taking a moment to recover, he crawls forward. There's no way in hell that he's going to be able to walk. ]

Kondo-san, speak to me! [ And then he turns on Hijikata. ] You bastard! You let this happen on your watch! He just wanted to be a normal gorilla with a normal gorilla sized asshole. Frolicking in the field with the other gorillas. Being beaten by the gorilla woman. If he dies here, I'm gonna...

[ And then the horrible, pungent smells of the breakfast seem to hit him at once. He goes a bit pale. ]

...barf. I'm gonna barf.

[harrasses]

[ wow, can no one get help around here?

Almost foaming in the mouth, he lays there more or less motionlessly; save for a couple of well-placed, but fairly unnoticeable twitches here and there. Somewhere between the struggle of Sougo versus Blankets, he regains enough consciousness to rally up a couple of pointless words. ]

Toshi… Sougo… it’s okay… I planned this sacrifice from the start…. Please, don’t blame one another…

You all can live more freely now… Sensei too… [ What historical drama was this even? ]… remember-[ Kondo focuses his eyes on Hijikata’s momentarily before continuing on. ] Remember to be more honest… [ … about your newfound love of bulky men … and I knew it since the kissing booth episode, but he, unfortunately, blanks out completely before delivering his tactful piece of advice. ]

[ Though, he vaguely might have thought: the only barf I accept is Otae-san's to which he'd not-so-secretly preserve as his family hairloom - I mean heirloom. ]

[mayotaku]

Don't blame this on me when you two are the cause of this mess?! What the hell have you been doing this whole time?

[The last question Hijikata really didn't need an answer for. Just judging from the alcohol bottles strewn about and the incapacitated Shinsengumi lying like dead fish before him, he had a pretty good idea of what just happened. Why? Who the hell knows, but there is one thing.]

Oi, go find a bathroom. These are new shoes.

[that he was going to push onto Sougo's face, ignoring the butt for a moment. Hijikata has had enough of his commander's ass for one LJRP.]

[thricepawned]

No, Kondo-san...! [He clutches at his head to ward off the headache, but that doesn't really work.] His sacrifice won't be in vain. Hijikata-kun, make up with Okita-kun immediately and admit to your misdeeds!

And Okita-kun, I'd be grateful if you didn't barf there. [and then he smells the food, too, and Itou turns a palpable shade of green. He starts crawling. In the direction of the bathroom.]

[sadoslash]

[ Poor Kondo. Someone needed to get right on reviving him. Or maybe he needs to revive himself and punch his Shinsengumi around. Because like hell Okita's getting along with Hijikata. Especially not when he's getting a shoe to the face. He takes out his handcuffs in retaliation, slapping one around his own wrist and the other around Hijikata's. ]

You take me to the bathroom or I'll target more than just your shoes.

[ Urk. There's no way Sougo can move that fast on his own. Especially not with Itou already crawling that way. At this point, even a sink will work. ]

sorry about the lateness!！

[harrasses]

[ Times passes and he’s hardly moved an inch, but once he regains some of his bearings, he finally moves a little, though, honestly it’s more like crawling. Talk about ruining the dramatics…

This action however, luckily causes the bottle to finally loosen and … permanently remove itself from the unmentionable. Still laying there uncomfortably he finally picks himself up, still dazed. He’s on his knees now at least… ]

… at least this is safe. [ He mutters softly before attempting to reorganize the food cartons since… he sort just let them fall. ]

[ More rummaging before he takes them all out. Enjoy more of the smell, guys. ]

Re: sorry about the lateness!！

[mayotaku]

[Thank you, Kondo-san, for volunteering to be a sacrifice. At least, this is what Hijikata was thinking as he knocked his commander to the side as he forcefully dragged Sougo towards the bathroom. He wasn't even giving Sougo the chance to get up. There was no time anyway! Dragging Okita across the floor seemed like a legit thing to do.]

Don't you dare throw up on me, you bastard!

[Itou, you better not be in our way or I'll be stepping all over you.]

[thricepawned]

[KONDO-SAN, WHY DO YOU DO THIS. I THOUGHT YOU FORGAVE ME why why why. He balks, and then Itou needs to stop crawling because his one hand has to cover his mouth for a moment.]

[AND OF COURSE HE'S ON YOUR WAY, HIJIKATA. He gets trampled, but then he latches on to Hijikata's other leg as the man passes by so he can get dragged into the bathroom, too.]

[sadoslash]

[ The only answer Hijikata gets is a pitiful moan, his free hand coming up to press over his mouth. ESPECIALLY when Kondo just starts pulling out the breakfast foods.

Okay. He can't take it anymore. Sougo lashes out and grabs the bag from Kondo's hands in passing, not even caring if he's taken all the food out completely ]

I need to borrow this, Kondo-san.

[ -- and this is where he hurls, even if they do make it into the bathroom in time for Itou. :|b ]