[closed]

[justiceisdue]

Characters: aiursfavoredson and justiceisdue
Location: Limbo Lodge roof
Rating: PG
Time: Backdated to December 26th, afternoonish
Description: Tassadar and Selendis have a long overdue discussion about a lot of things.

Comments

[aiursfavoredson]

Tassadar had been busy constructing his generator. While it wasn't finished yet, the project was coming along nicely. If all continues to go well, then there would only be a few more weeks before the device would be complete. Yet despite how busy he had been with the generator's construction, Tassadar had also been keeping an eye out on how the Europe mission had gone along with the casualty involved. That was why he hadn't missed the fact that Selendis had been injured, even if he had been unable to pull himself away at this crucial time.

When the days continued to pass by and he hadn't heard anything from her, the templar left his work behind for the day in order to go search for the Executor. It hadn't been terribly difficult to locate where she spent most of her time. He had taken to the rooftops and search until he'd come across one that had a strong sense of her scent in the area, and had quietly waited there for her arrival. How long her arrival took didn't matter in the slightest to Tassadar, as he remained patiently waiting in the cold for her to arrive.

He could sense her on the move when she had finally decided to arrive. Watching as she crested the rooftop, Tassadar's calm blue gaze never once left her unarmoured form as she pulled herself up. The templar didn't need the Khala to know that something was wrong. The tone of her voice and the fact that she had trouble keeping eye-contact was a dead giveaway. Still, he didn't point that out at first and simply continued to regard her.

En Taro Adun,' he greeted in reply before nodding his head at her question. 'This day finds me well, and what of your injuries, Selendis?'

/touches new icon....

[justiceisdue]

"They are healing well enough."

She couldn't even accurately recall how she'd gotten most them, but she supposed that was par for the course when one was insane. Her memories were vague at best, but when there was clarity it disturbed her. She had been furious before, and knew what it was like to rip enemies apart in the heat of battle, but... it had been nothing like that at all. Selendis blinked several times, trying to focus her attention back on Tassadar.

He was here for a reason, that much was obvious. She wanted to ask after the generator, Nataku, Kerrigan or anything that would move the conversation away from her, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Even as weak and lost as she felt, she couldn't deceive or mislead anybody, let alone Tassadar. She took that as a good sign, despite the blow to her confidence. So, instead of dancing around the issue, she went with a direct approach.

"Why is it that you have come here, Tassadar?"

/touches you back 83

[aiursfavoredson]

Regarding the injuries on her body, he could see that they were indeed healing. That was a pleasing thought, but then again, their kind would not allow such injuries to keep them down for long. They were all the same, and those of templar far more stubborn than all others.

Still, he appreciated the fact that Selendis didn't attempt to fool him, and when the question asked, the casual air around him disappeared. They were both aware of why he was here, but all that remained to discover was if she would speak her mind or not. He would find out soon enough.

'I believe you know why I am here,' Tassadar said before pausing for a moment. 'I am concerned for you.'

/swoon

[justiceisdue]

His concern, somehow, made her feel worse. As if him being angry at her would be any easier to deal with, though she felt like that's what she deserved. Templar, and even any other protoss, did not run from their emotions - they controlled them. Unfortunately, she didn't feel much in control of anything anymore.

It was ironic, of course, that she spent so much time trying to comfort and support Karkat, when she couldn't do the same for herself. What good would it do when he was ready to get back up, but she wasn't?

"I am sorry," she said, ducking her head for a moment before forcing it back up. "It has been wrong of me to avoid you."

/enjoys the swooning display o3o

[aiursfavoredson]

He remained quiet while he watched her, and could tell that his companion was far from alright. It was difficult for their kind to be without all that they had grown accustomed to over the centuries, but the templar had a feeling that it was far form than that. So when the apology came, Tassadar thoughtfully nodded his head before finally approaching Selendis.

'For you to do such a thing, you must have had reason,' he murmured while coming to a stop a few feet from the Executor. Tassadar had his assumptions, but he wouldn't voice them for now. 'I wish for you to speak to me about them.

:3

[justiceisdue]

She had more than enough reasons, even if they all sounded like excuses to her by now. There was nothing she could say for several moments, not certain where she should begin.

"I have not the strength to face my own failures," she finally said. These sorts of conversations were easier with the Khala, because direct words were rarely needed. If she was ever going to learn to move forward without that safety net, though, she had to start somewhere. "I could not fight the Madness in Europe, and we were both very nearly killed. That is twice I have endangered both myself and Karkat in battle, and this time he was severely wounded. Despite our agreement to continue forward, I do not know if our partnership has been irreparably damaged, given the combination of our faults."

She was well aware that Karkat blamed himself for her having to resort to insanity in the first place, but she should have been strong enough to prevent it in the first place. This was only one of the issues weighing on her mind, and she thought it prudent to take it one step at a him. At least she could hold it together enough to still think logically.

<3 and thank you for your patience!

[aiursfavoredson]

Tassadar thought over the words that she spoke. They were far from unfamiliar to him, for he had experienced as much when he had first partnered with Nataku. Unlike with Karkat, however, the relationship he had with Nataku was far different when it came to such connections. That wasn't to say that they didn't have their own difficulties, they were just in different areas.

'It may not be a strength that you control now, but your have proven to me just now that you hold some level of strength over them,' he murmured before falling quiet to consider the rest of her words. There were many different ways that she could go about it, but even as his mind considered such options, Tassadar found himself asking, 'Have you spoken to Karkart about your thoughts, Selendis? If you are uncertain to the status of your partnership, you would do well to approach your Weapon and discuss such possible outcomes. Leaving such thoughts to grow and fester within will negatively affect the resonation you have between each other.'

While he hadn't spoken of her inability to withstand the Madness Wavelength, the thought remained lingering at the back of his mind while he waited for her answer.

i'll wait forever if it means seeing new tassadar icons :V

[justiceisdue]

"Yes. We have spoken about it." But only once, and Karkat was still wrapped up in his own problems like her. Either it was just going to take some time to bring them back to where they were, or something was going to have to force it. "We have already decided to remain partners, but if we fail to resonate again, I do not know what will happen."

Well, she did know. They'd both have to find new partners, but that was the part that actually angered and frightened her. Selendis had worked hard to achieve everything she'd done in her life, and the partnership with Karkat was no different. He'd put in just as much time and energy, so to see their work fall apart was almost unbearable. They were already at such a disadvantage in this world, that any step backwards was a major loss.

"We should be stronger. I should be stronger."

Then I'll just have to keep throwing them at you so then you keep coming back for more o3o

[aiursfavoredson]

'A failed resonation does not mean that you need to end the partnership,' Tassadar murmured after a moment of thought. Throughout his time here, he had seen many who have had fluctuations with their attempt to resonate with their partners. While he had never had a problem with Nataku, the templar believed that if Selendis and Karkart truly wished to remain partnered, that they would find a way.

That was why he reached out to place his large hand on her unarmoured shoulder. Regarding her in thought, he then murmured, 'Your partnership is what both you and Karkart make of it. If there are moments where resonation is difficult, then work through that difficulties and build yourselves back up to being a strong partnership.'

Giving her shoulder a light squeeze, he withdrew his touch from her shoulder. 'You are stronger than you realise, Selendis. All you need do is to remember that.'

[insert your favorite icon here]

[justiceisdue]

"If we do not resonate then we cannot fight. If we cannot fight together then what is our purpose? I cannot imagine having to find a new weapon when I know one that I have successfully fought with is still here."

Selendis stopped before she got too sharp with him, and at that point he put his hand on her shoulder. She made no move to shrug it off like last time, but it managed to throw her off again. While not always unwelcome, the physical contact still felt out of place to her. His words, same as every speech she'd ever heard or given, sounded good and practical. But it was a matter of seeing them through that was the problem.

"The Madness won in Europe," she said, shaking her head. "There was nothing to remember at all, Tassadar, until the kishin was dead. I could not fight it like I could before, and we suffered for it. How do I remain strong when I cannot even control myself?"

It was more of a rhetorical question, but it was going to bother her for a long time. She thought it would get easier, fighting the Madness, but she was wrong. Just like dealing with the zerg, when she thought about it. Once they had the monsters pegged, they'd evolve into something worse and it was a scramble to try and counteract it.

But there are so many T3T /adds another one

[aiursfavoredson]

'You believe that you must be in a battle situation to resonate with your partner?' Tassadar thoughtfully asked. While resonating in battle was a large part of a partnership, it was not the only time that one could. Regarding her quietly, when he thought that he had her attention, the templar continued. 'If you are concerned over what may or may not happen in battle, then attempt to fix what problems you may have with your resonation outside of it. You do not need to be in the heat of battle to do such things, and you can strengthen your bond with your partner far better. Nataku and I are often resonating within the walls of the city to keep our link strong.'

Nodding his head when she spoke of the Madness winning, that was something he could understand. There were many problems that they all needed to face and overcome. 'Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and we must continually strive to better ourselves regardless of the forces working against us,' he murmured. His blue eyes shifted to yellow as he considered his words, but their colour returned back to their regular blue as he said, 'Battling in this world is far different than battling in our own sector of space. Perhaps what is needed is further training to help resisting the Madness in such situation.'

gurl u know what i like

[justiceisdue]

Tassadar wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, and she hated that it made her feel resentful. She knew they'd have to practice resonation outside of combat, she knew they had a lot of work to do together, she knew this world was different and she knew training never ended. Maybe she was young still, but not so thoughtless and inexperienced that everything had be spelled out to her. At some point, though, she had obviously lost that calm, logical composure Tassadar always had about him.

She didn't say anything, not trusting herself to keep from getting angry and not wanting to lash out at him anymore than she already had. Instead she just turned and walked away from him, stopping at the edge of the roof and crouching down there. He was just trying to help, and she knew he was right, but she had a difficult time understanding him as of late. Maybe he was too passive, or maybe she was too aggressive, and without the Khala it was almost impossible for her to know. She felt more distant to him than she did any of the Dark Templar, and that was unsettling.

"I know," she finally said, answering everything at once. "But simply knowing is clearly not enough."

Damn straight /is like your crack dealer and deals another

[aiursfavoredson]

He didn't need his psionic ability to know that his words had upset her. That much was obvious as her silence remained and she moved away with him. The gesture had him falling silent in his own thoughts as he considered his situation. He had spent much time with the Dark Templar and the humans before arriving here, and then many months isolated from his people and system once he had arrived here that he had learnt to adapt as best as he could. While he still believed that he was templar, Tassadar was left wondering if he truly had changed that much.

Tasssadar remained quiet in thought as she eventually answered his words. He didn't move away or leave, but instead quietly regarded Selendis. 'If knowing is not enough, what would be considered enough for you?' He found himself asking. Tassadar didn't move from where he was, and while his tone didn't display how he felt, he was suddenly testing the waters between them.

Was he once again isolated from even his people after being here for so long? The thought was a disturbing one if he was, and he wasn't quite certain what to make of it if it were true.

aww yeah

[justiceisdue]

"Understanding," she said. "Comprehension. Applying what knowledge I have to practical use in and out of combat."

It sounded more like she was reciting some doctrine from training than answering him, but the message was the same. She had the skills needed to perform, but now she didn't know if she could do it. There were too many wild cards, and she had lost control of everything when she was used to being in control.

"Everything I know and have learned has been based around the principles and teachings of the Khala. The structure is sound and applicable to situations outside of our own species. We are no less honorable or loyal, nor have we strayed from the Dae'Uhl." She stopped for a moment, still looking out over the city rather than at him. "But I have lost its intimacy, its comfort and its peace. My partner is an alien I barely understand, and the only other protoss here is not how I remember them."

/works it baby! and I totally wrote this on my plane trip xDD

[aiursfavoredson]

He could understand her desire for such things, but also knew that without change, Selendis would find it difficult to survive in this world where the rules had all changed for them. There was nothing that he could do or say to bring her comfort, and all that he could do was remain by her side.

Tassadar's silence remained as she continued to talk. This was, perhaps, the most honest he had heard her in quite some time, and while he had expected much of what she had said, it didn't make hearing it any easier. He didn't allow his expression or mood to change despite how he felt. Selendis was in no need of such things, and he wished to do what he could to help her through this.

"We all must learn to cope with change and move with it," Tassadar murmured as he remained standing where he was. "The Conclave were unable to change their perspective on the war, or how to evaluate what truly was important, and such a downfall led to their demise. While I am not saying you will meet with the same fate, being able to adapt and change to this new situation is one of the many tests for us on our journey. While it may be difficult to walk this path devoid of all you know, know that you do not do this alone, Selendis. Allies and companions come in many shapes and forms along with our enemy, and we must learn to do what we can and adapt regardless of how difficult it may seem in the beginning, you will persevere."

talent!

[justiceisdue]

The comment about the Conclave cut closer to home than she would have liked, even if time and perspective had revealed all of their faults. Misguided as they were, she didn't think they were evil, but they had reacted to everything poorly. The comparison to them was accurate whether or not she suffered their fate, as she had always been more traditional, and never wanted to see it as a fault. In the face of the dark templar, though, it became a fault and a liability. Here in Death City, it was going to get her and her partner killed, or worse.

She looked at him as he spoke, not betraying any emotion, just as she knew he was doing. That was probably part of the problem right there - protoss simply didn't use visual cues to communicate emotions. Before the Khala, they'd slaughtered each other because they couldn't understand one another on such an intimate level. The susceptibility to the madness combined with the disconnect from Tassadar honestly frightened her. It wasn't always going to barely work out in the end.

"What is it you suggest I do, then?" she asked. He hadn't answered her statement about him, but they would deal with one thing at a time. "You willingly accepted the guidance and teachings of the Dark Templar, while it was unexpectedly forced upon the rest of us. I have had no time nor any desire to practice separating myself from the whole of our people."

She couldn't begin to guess what he'd learned from Zeratul. Since the invasion of their planet, there hadn't been much time to share anything outside of what was vitally important.