[CLOSED]
Characters: misrecollect & cashnotash
Location: Death City Heights
Rating: G - PG
Time: November 20th, Evening
Description: A little slice of life with Alice and Iceland.
( nothing to be nervous about. )
Location: Death City Heights
Rating: G - PG
Time: November 20th, Evening
Description: A little slice of life with Alice and Iceland.
( nothing to be nervous about. )
Speaking about which, he tried to return her smile (fortunately, it's working, sort of) and promptly stepped in, closing the door behind him (and probably locked it as well) so she don't have to do that. She's already that person he looked forward to - no matter how murky his day is, seeing her always brightened up his mood. In fact, he's most likely looking forward to come home to her. Obviously, he wouldn't ever admit it (perhaps extreme situations are an exception) because it's embarrassing and clichéd.
"I'm home." The half-smile lingers for a few moments before it finally fades away. It's somewhat a ritual between them ever since she moved in with him - she welcomed him back, he told her that he's home (confirming the fact that he's really there, maybe), and then they have dinner together (while chatting quite religiously). Routine is sometimes (if not most of the time) boring, but this one is not. It gives him a sense of normalcy and belonging. "Really? That's good. Tell me about it." Her effort in keeping the mood lighthearted was successful, and it's clearly shown in his considerably more lighthearted tone (comparing to the one earlier when he's knocking at the door) and less rigid stance. "Did you like the book, by the way?"
It'd take him quite a while to notice the dinner she'd prepared, however, because he's busy settling down (read: putting the folder down and taking off his jacket) for a while. When he finally does, he doesn't say anything, but turning his attention back to her instead. He assumed that it was meant to be a surprise and waited for her to say something about it first.
"Yeah," Iceland's gaze moved elsewhere, as well. To the table, to be exact, but not for long because he let his gaze wander back to her. "Seems like it's dinnertime." The words were accompanied by his usual, teasing smile. It's as if he doesn't have that dark look on his face in the first place for a moment. He just can't help it - she went that far to make him feel better, and of course, he had to show some appreciation, hadn't he? He had no idea about her "hidden agenda", though.
Reply
"Mm, it was interesting." Actually, there weren't many books she didn't become fascinated with but only when she didn't already ruin the ending for herself. Her sister wasn't there to ask about it, and for a second she lowered her eyes at the memory. 'It was all a dream in the end' Alice frowned then, looking up quickly. "I'm going to try looking for a certain book next time I go to the library. Something my sister was reading," though she never got the name of it, she was sure she could find it from what little she had heard her sister say.
As she glanced over to the set table Alice smiled again with a light tinge of pink to her cheeks. "Right, dinner, because..." Because she felt like it, but that didn't seem like a good enough reason. Sighing, because clearly there was no actual surprising him, Alice lightly took his wrist in her hand and pulled him toward the table. "I wanted you to be able to relax and usually it's kind of a boring dinner so I tried to make something really good this time." Her hand returned to her side and she looked away shyly.
"But I'm actually not sure if it's any good... If it's not I can order something from somewhere." No matter what it was, she could still find out what she wanted to, it just took some building up of courage.
Reply
"Yes, it was." It's actually not the kind of book he usually read in his spare time, but, well, he knows that Alice liked those kind of books, and he read it just for the sake of getting himself acquainted with her tastes. It's rather interesting, apparently, and he was expecting her to react more strongly than that because he'd chosen that book himself. Her reaction sort of disappointed him, but he quickly made a mental note to try harder. It appears that it's not as easy as he thought to figure her out. The sudden change in demeanour puzzled him, but he stared at her, waiting patiently for her to explain why. Even if she's not being explicit about it, he's going to try to figure it out. "What's the title? I'll look it up for you." He'd guessed that she'd refuse his offer, as usual, and he'd insist that it's okay, but then a better idea crossed his mind. "Or do you want to go to the library together?"
The blush doesn't go unnoticed, and he found himself smiling slightly because of it. Whatever gloomy thoughts he had earlier had slowly disappeared, and he felt a lot better. "You don't have to do that, you know, but thanks a lot. I'd really appreciate it." A small laugh soon follows, and he let himself being pulled toward the dinner table, blushing lightly. He wasn't expecting her to go this far to cheer him up, much less pulling his wrist.
"Well, I'm sure that it's as good as it looks." There's a reassuring smile, and he takes a good look at the set table before preparing to seat himself. "Shall we...?"
Reply
Alice shrugged weakly, avoiding looking at him so that she could try to hide the redness on her cheeks. To her it wasn't that big of a deal, especially since she hadn't been able to find something to make that wasn't a little more extravagant. "Yeah..." Falling quiet, she settled herself at one end of the table, keeping her gaze down on the food as she tried to figure out how she would ask.
"Um, actually..." finally opening her mouth to speak, Alice lifted her gaze to him. "I was wondering why... or rather, what's been on your mind?" It wasn't so straight forward, but still on the point she was trying to get to.
Reply
The surprised look doesn't go unnoticed either, and he silently wondered if his offer was that surprising. "Alice in Wonderland?" He blurted out with another teasing smile. It's the first book that crossed his mind, but there's probably some other books that fits the description. Said description wasn't very specific, after all. "How about tomorrow? Before lunch, maybe?" It's Sunday, anyway, and it's his day-off. Going to the library with her would keep him busy and that's a good thing. Although the library is practically his second home, judging from how often he went there. That's another reason why he offered to look the book up for her, actually. "We could have lunch somewhere if you'd like. My treat."
After she settled herself at one end of the table, he seated himself on the other end of table. At first, it felt weird and awkward (if not a little sad) because Nura was the one who normally sat in that place, but he'd slowly accepted it. It's better than eating alone, anyway, even though he would never admit it. Thankfully, he doesn't notice the colour on her cheeks because he was busy poking the light-coloured pasta she'd cooked for him. It's not extravagant, but he preferred it that way.
Instead of answering her question right away, he tried the light-coloured pasta she'd cooked for him first, seemingly ignoring that question and letting it hung heavily in the air. His expression shifted to a thoughtful one (and it seems like he doesn't want Alice to see this, since he stared at his food intently) and, after the second bite, and a considerable amount of pause, he finally broke the silence. "A lot of things." It's a short and thoughtful answer, but not curt. If anything, it prompted her to ask about it. "It's good, by the way. The pasta, I mean." He let their gaze met once more, expression calm and unreadable.
Reply
And she eventually gave up on trying.
"Alice... in Wonderland?" She realized she had just echoed his words and her cheeks grew hot again. Even though he smiled at her that way, she could feel the awkward shift in her emotions - he knew about it, the book. It's just a coincidence, she reminded herself, nodding with a small smile for him to see. Just because it was called Alice in Wonderland meant nothing more than being a coincidence. "Alright, it sounds like a" date, "plan. Even if we don't find the book, at least the time won't be wasted."
She waited in absolute silence, watching him intently and waiting with a held breath. She was starting to think he wasn't going to answer her at all until his eyes finally met hers, though not with an expression she had been expecting. Then again, there wasn't a specific response she was expecting, and Alice sighed softly before letting her gaze fall to the pasta that she was twirling around on her fork. "Oh... Thanks." No. No, that wasn't going to be okay. Frowning a little, she set the silver down and lifted her eyes to his again.
"Do you still miss her?" It wasn't fair to ask, she knew the answer and if it had been asked the other way about Gray she would assume he knew the answer as well. It was impossible not to miss the people that were gone, of course. "Or, is it something else?"
Reply
"Mmm." A nod. "I think the premise matches your description. Or close, anyway." There's a brief pause, and his expression changed into a curious one. "Does the title ring any bell, Alice?" He can't help it, he always wanted to know how she'd react if he brought said book up, and if she ever heard about it or not. It's...baffling that she had the exact same name as the main protagonist, but he thought that it was a coincidence, too (read: he's still in denial about being in love with a fictional character - suddenly, this has started to sound like Inception). There's no way that she's a book character, nevermind that he's acquainted with Watson. If he remembered correctly, that Alice doesn't have any sister, anyway. "The time won't be wasted, even if we're just fooling around in the end. Trust me."
Iceland had plenty of time, and he wouldn't mind wasting every single second of it for her.
"You're always welcome." The platinum blond noticed that she was playing with her food, and that she looked somewhat...disappointed. Is there something wrong with his answer? He tilted his head, quietly wondering about it. In the end, he decided that he should at least try to fix it. Obviously, he doesn't understand that she wanted him to be elaborate about his feelings. In his defense, it's not easy for him to open up, especially when it comes to feelings. He doesn't even know how to talk about them properly in the first place. "Don't play with your food." He teased lightly, in an effort to make it up to her.
The next question she asked surprised him, and he stared at her for a while, dumbfounded, before resumed eating. He let the question(s) hung heavily in the air once more, and, once she thought that he wouldn't answer (again)- "A little bit of everything." He replied with a slight, sad smile, and started to twirl around the pasta unconsciously - it's his turn to play with his food. He avoided looking at her, and he looked dejected once more.
Reply
"I... don't know." She realized her voice had grown softer, and the irritating feeling that came with the thought of that book was becoming a little stronger than she wanted it to be. But she didn't want him to think he might have upset her, so she continued to wear a smile for him that became easier the longer she simply focused on him. "I guess it's just weird to hear about a book with your name in the title," she tried to use it as an excuse, laughing weakly before nodding to him. Time, no matter what was happening, was never felt like it was being wasted when she spent it with him.
She only considered it a waste when she wasn't able to say what she wanted to him.
Caught in the act, Alice blinked down at the twisted pasta noodles and frowned at herself. Just like a child, she mentally scolded, and sighed lightly as if simply giving up on bettering herself. There was no way, he would always catch the little things she did and it would always embarrass her.
Letting the silence hang in the air after his eventual response, Alice watched him wondering if she had really ruined the night with her curiosity. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything at all. She continued to remain in the quiet, finally taking meek bites of her food until she couldn't stand the heavy emptiness around them. "I'm sorry," she finally said, though avoiding meeting his eyes. "I thought if I stayed with you, I could help but... but I think I'm just making it worse, right?" The guilt, if it wasn't obvious, had just built up too much.
Reply
Speaking about which, he noticed that the smile on her face wasn't genuine - it's there to mask her true feelings. He let out a sigh, regretting his decision of bringing up the book in the first place. But he couldn't apologise, since it'd only make her feel even more worse. "I'd gotten used to it." He finally said, playing along and pretending that he doesn't notice her true emotions. "It just occurred to me that I might be wrong. I don't think the book matches your description." Here comes the retconning. "Forget it."
Hopefully, she wouldn't realise the fact that he's trying to sweep it under the carpet. He would never let his curiosity win again. The frown and the sigh, unfortunately, doesn't went unnoticed either. Iceland immediately feel stupid, if not guilty. Wrong move. Instead of lighten up the situation, he just makes it worse. Of course, he wasn't expecting her to take it seriously. "Sorry." In the end, he apologised, after some awkward silence. "I...didn't mean to."
The heavy silence that hangs in the air afterward makes him feel even more guilty and awkward, but he's trying to ignore it and tried to focus on his food instead. Wrong move again. "You think. You're not making it worse or anything." He put down the silver, rubbed his forehead, and let out a long sigh of exasperation. If anything, it's not her curiosity (or his, for that matter) that ruined the night, it's her guilt (and maybe his too). "It's my fault. Don't apologise."
If only he gave her a concrete answer from the start, perhaps neither of them would feel this guilty. Maybe it's time to take a leap.
"I'd tell you whatever you want to know, now." A beat. "Just...stop blaming yourself, okay?"
( ooc: SORRY THIS IS JUST SO SCATTERED and it doesn't make any sense at all. I'm tired, sob. )
Reply
When he started to take back what he said, Alice suddenly lifted her hands a little with a small shake of her head. "No, you're probably right." She hadn't wanted him to notice it, but she should have known he could read her so well that trying to pretend otherwise was useless. No, not 'should have', she did know that he could tell everything that she was feeling just by watching her. "It's... We'll still go look, just in case."
She never wanted him to apologize, it didn't suit and she didn't need it. Whatever he said or did, Alice never wanted him to be sorry because he never did anything wrong. "Don't worry, I'm fine," she assured him quietly, relaxing enough to offer a genuine smile simply because it was him that deserved it.
A quick blink concealed her brief surprise, though there was no hiding the flush to her cheeks. She had meant to apologize for bringing the matter up in the first place and for turning a calm night into something like this, but instead he... "I don't want to." A pause, because she realized she had said it so abruptly. She frowned down at her half-finished plate, choosing her words carefully.
"What I mean is, I don't want to ask anything if it's going to upset you more. I just want you to be happy," she murmured, head lowered still. "Everything here is so far away from home, and Eiríkur is the only person that makes it feel like I'm there again. Because of that, I want to try and be that person for you, too, but lately it feels like there isn't anything that I can do..."
Reply
It's not hard to figure out how she truly feels at the moment either. He'd always credit his keen observation skills for that, but it's probably something more than that - intuition would be more fitting. He could try to explain how he could pinpoint her true emotions at the time being, but actually, it couldn't really be explained. He just know. It could be troublesome because he knows how she wanted to mask her true feelings sometimes. Besides, it's rather unfair - he could read Alice like an open book, but not the other way around. But perhaps that's how he preferred it to be.
Normally, he wouldn't believe what she said, but her smile dispelled whatever doubt he might have in mind. "I'm glad to hear that." He let out a sigh of relief, and leaned back on his seat, giving himself a break. The awkwardness and the guilt he felt seconds before felt heavy, and that's why he really need some space to breathe. Still, he couldn't relax completely. He still need to ready himself for whatever question she's going to throw on him.
Which is why what she said next shocked him. He sat there, almost done with his dinner, completely stunned. Once he snapped out of it, he blushed and looked down, looking absolutely mortified (in a good way, of course). It took him quite a while to stop flushing, opening his mouth and then closing it again, and playing with the rest of his food. Talk about awkward.
"It's okay," He finally said, still staring at either his plate, the table, or the floor beneath his feet. "Sometimes we have to talk about unpleasant...things." He's subtly telling himself that he need to stop being so guarded. If she's trying her best to conquer her issues, then it's only fair if he's doing the same. "But I just want you to be happy, too." He noticed that his voice was only a whisper now, and he'd start fidgeting anxiously. He also don't know what to say in response to the last thing the other said.
"You're already that person." The sudden strength in his voice surprised even himself, and he looked up from whatever it is he was staring at, letting his gaze met the sight of her once more. "You don't have to try to be that person, Alice, you're already her." His voice softens, along with his expression, and he could feel a strangely blissful, peaceful feeling washed over him. The anxiety has passed. "And that means you don't have to do anything, either." Small pause. "Just...stay with me, okay?"
Reply
A shy glance up gave notice to the redness on his cheeks and Alice focused on her plate again. She had said something wrong, hadn't she? Ruined another conversation with him by saying something so ridiculous. What had she been thinking? Telling him she considered him to be as comfortable as being home again, it was too much, and she silently scolded herself for it. Of course saying something like that upset him, made him quiet, he wouldn't even look at her-
"What?" She jerked up in surprise, blue eyes wide. Already... The words made her heart jump and Alice nervously brushed her hair back behind an ear. "I... right..." Despite the anxious clench in her stomach and the rapid beats in her chest, Alice still felt a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She wouldn't, couldn't admit it aloud, but it felt good to hear him say as much.
And maybe, with it, she knew why, too.
"I won't leave you." Alice had said so before, and she would continue to say it because she always meant it. However, the way that fluttering feeling was acting up, Alice couldn't even try to finish her food and she slowly stood from the table, lifting her plate and taking it to the sink to clean it. She had to keep busy, to keep her thoughts occupied now, or she would feel silly after that. "But you can't leave me either, then." Not that she thought he would.
Even after she turned off the water, Alice remained where she stood, looking anywhere but refusing to turn back to face where he was. She had to hide the blush somehow...
Reply
It's something new to him, but then again, everything in their relationship and the things they experienced together were all novel, sometimes even alien, concepts to him.
"You heard me." He affirms, voice as strong as it was when he told her that she's already the person who made him feel at home again for the first time. Their gaze met, and it's his turn to shift his gaze to his plate on impulse, cheeks graced by a noticeable blush once more. He managed to steal a glance, though, and noticed the small smile gracing her features. It made him smile in turn, and despite the fact that his heart was beating so fast it might very well explode in the near future, he managed to lift his gaze once more. She doesn't need to admit that it makes her happy, he could see it. And it makes him happy, too, if not twice as happy as her.
What she said next left him speechless once more, and he found himself avoiding her gaze for the umpteenth time, powerless against the overpowering emotions.
"I won't leave you either." He finally said, just before she left the room. It's a heavy promise to fulfill, given the fact that BREW can send either one of them home any time, but she'd promised him. Which means that he's obligated to return it. But that doesn't mean he's returning it solely because of that, because he really mean it. He would never, ever leave her on purpose. After she left, he couldn't finish his dinner either, but he forced himself to do so (he doesn't want to offend her), and when he finally does, he's reminded of his duty to wash the dishes. Of course, Alice didn't specifically asked him to do that, but he doesn't want to let her do all the work. It's not fair.
"You should let me do the dishes, you know." He appeared a couple of minutes later in the kitchen (much to her chagrin), his own plate in hand, looking...well, unreadable. He'd spent the minutes before his arrival regaining his composure. Seems like it's working quite well, because he's looking composed. For the most part, anyway.
Reply
So it wasn't an empty promise, she firmly believed they wouldn't be taken.
But despite those thoughts, Alice still tried to avoid his eyes, or any other kind of contact after that confession. Hearing him enter the kitchen behind her only made it worse, though. "It's fine, you've been working. I don't mind just cleaning things up," she murmured, still turned toward the sink and keeping her back on him. If she looked at him now, she wouldn't know what kind of face to make. Not only that, but she couldn't control the furious blush on her cheeks. If he saw that...
Alice was already embarrassed enough. "You can rest now, if you want. Just leave this kind of stuff to me, or I'll feel like a free-loader." She laughed weakly, almost forced as she still tried to collect herself and her emotions.
She really did feel silly though. It wasn't like any of that was some kind of love confession, just admitting that they were close, right? She didn't need to get so worked up over it. At least, telling herself that much was helping to cool her face again and Alice could finally steal a glance over her shoulder.
Reply
Of course, she can be outrageously irrational at times, but maybe that's one of the things that endears her to him. And he found himself believing in the promise she'd made firmly, as well.
In any case, he found himself staring at her back, standing awkwardly behind her in the kitchen. He doesn't need to see the blush to figure out the fact that she was beyond embarrassed after their conversation during dinner, her behaviour already told him the story. So does her words. "But-" He argues, but stopped abruptly before he could convey his point. Obviously, he really doesn't want to let her do all the work (it makes him feel guilty), even though he's rather tired, but on the other hand, he knew that if he insists, he might end up making her feel even more silly.
"I'd just leave this here, then." In the end, he yielded, putting his plate in the sink and accidentally brushed her arm in the process. Even so, he's not going to give up completely. "I'll go get changed now. I'll be waiting in the living room after that, if you want to...talk. Or something." That being said, he turned away and left the kitchen, but not after staring awkwardly at her back (again) for a couple of seconds. Which means that he caught the glance, but instead of teasing her as usual, he just returned it. The amount of embarrassment he'd given her might be enough to feed the entirety of Death City for a couple of years, and there's no way he's going to contribute more.
Reply
"Mm, just wait for me..." That could have meant for anything, though. Even for that which she would not speak of.
Finishing with the dishes, she let them sit to dry on their own as she turned to glance out toward the living room. Would he be there, waiting for her? And even if she went out to see him, what would she say now after everything that was already said. Stop that, she suddenly ordered herself silently. She held a hand over her heart, willing it to calm so that she could recompose herself. After moving in with him, she really should have learned by now how to control her own whirlwind of emotions.
"Eiríkur?" Just testing, or maybe she just wanted to hear that he was there before she stepped foot into the living room. She couldn't stall forever, anyway, and Alice finally moved toward the couch with her head lowered and eyes on the floor.
Reply
Leave a comment