[closed]

[sandsworn]

Characters: Gaara and Rock Lee
Location: Death City Heights, Gaara and Lee's apartment
Rating: PG-13 for sexual tension
Time: August 28th, evening
Description:  Gaara is trying to get into Lee's jumpsuit court Lee.  After getting some advice from the network, he's decided to make dinner for him...proving that even former homicidal maniacs can make good

Comments

[verdant_lotus]

The food was cold and the ice in the glasses was melted by the time they started eating, but Gaara had needed the comfort of touch. And, if Lee was honest with himself, he'd needed it too. Their conversation had him feeling emotionally raw, having faced too many revelations that he hadn't been ready for- and having dredged up the painful memories surrounding Sakura. Their shared meal passed mostly in silence, with Lee chancing awkward glances across the stubs of the candles at Gaara

[sandsworn]

Gaara was sitting on the couch, his hands resting on his knees. At Lee's approach, he looked up. Lee's hair and skin were still damp from the shower, and his shirt clung to his upper body, emphasizing the muscles hardened from countless hours of training. The sight left Gaara feeling both heated and momentarily weak, as if he'd spent too much time out in the sun.

He lowered his gaze. He couldn't even begin to untangle the knot of emotions in his chest. He felt...open. Exposed. He'd known, of course, that he was attracted to Lee and that Lee was his friend. But until tonight, he had never consciously acknowledged to himself that he loved Lee. That he needed him. The thought of losing Lee now made his chest tighten with something close to panic.

"Yes," he said.

[verdant_lotus]

"Okay." Somehow, that acceptance didn't make it any easier. Lee hesitated, looking between the couch and the loveseat. He'd never put so much thought before into something as simple as where to sit. It'd be easier to see Gaara from the loveseat, but there were implications to sitting away from him. And Lee knew he was thinking entirely too much, but fixating on something small like that was all he really could do in that moment. Eventually Lee sat down on the couch, but left half a cushion between them in compromise

[sandsworn]

"Yes," Gaara said again. His heart was beating a little too quickly, and his mouth was dry. He wasn't used to feeling so many things at once. He wasn't used to feeling things at all. He'd spent years carefully barricading his emotions behind cool, neutral walls. Yet ever since he'd come into this world and partnered with Lee, his heart had been a near-constant whirl of things he didn't understand, things he had no name for. It was disorienting. Overwhelming.

His hands tightened on his knees, and he met Lee's dark gaze. "What do you want to do." The words were delivered in a flat, neutral tone, without even the inflection of a question at the end.

[verdant_lotus]

Even white teeth caught at Lee's bottom lip, and he looked at Gaara, trying to read in his empty expression what had been missing from the words. The calmness in his voice threw Lee off-balance. It was a dramatic contrast to the way he'd been before, nearly enough so to make Lee wonder if he'd imagined it all

[sandsworn]

Gaara looked down at Lee's hands. It was strange to see them without bandages. He noticed them shaking. Without thinking, he put his own hands over them. The knuckles were rough with callouses and scars. Gaara's hands had grown more calloused over the past few weeks, but they were still soft and delicate-looking in comparison to Lee's, and the contrast somehow fascinated him. He rubbed his thumb lightly back and forth across Lee's knuckles, turned his hand over and traced tiny circles on his palm. Focusing on those hands, on the way they felt, helped center him--kept him calm.

Lee's words echoed in his mind. Knowing that you could have died...I was terrified. Something fluttered in his stomach. "Is it just that I'm male?" he asked quietly. "Is that what bothers you?" It was strange to think about. Gaara had spent most of his life shunned and feared as a monster. He'd crushed half of Lee's body, yet Lee had easily forgiven him for that. He'd completely overlooked the demon inside him, accepted him in all his strangeness

[verdant_lotus]

The light touch of Gaara's thumb in the center of Lee's palm made him look down. It was almost ticklish, and he watched the slow, deliberate movement. Lee swallowed. His mouth suddenly felt dry. He wondered if he was dehydrated. It'd make sense to have forgotten to drink enough in the heat, with how distracted he'd been. Maybe part of it was how easily Gaara said that, he thought. Or maybe it was just how strange it felt to have someone touching his bare hands. Looking at the scars made him feel self-conscious. He should've stopped to rewind the bandages, but he'd been distracted and half planning to go to bed and...

And Gaara was still waiting for an answer. Lee looked up at him, but facing those strange eyes was too much for him. His attention turned back to their hands. Why did it matter so much to him?

"Because it is normal for boys to like girls," Lee mumbled. "It is what you are supposed to do."

[sandsworn]

"Oh." Gaara paused, staring at Lee's face. His downcast eyes were hidden by those long, dark lashes. "I don't know much about what's normal. Nothing about my life has ever been normal, and I doubt it ever truly will be. I don't even know what that word means. I guess that's why such things don't matter to me." His hands remained where they were, lightly touching Lee's, but now motionless. "I have always been different from other people."

[verdant_lotus]

That, Lee thought, was an understatement. That he was interested in Lee at all was proof enough of that. The Chuunin hesitated for a moment, then forced himself to meet Gaara's eyes. Part of him still wanted to hide from that gaze, but he knew it'd just lead to them having this conversation again. And... Gaara deserved better than having his feelings ignored. Lee knew all too well how that felt.

"I do not know if I could see you in that way," Lee said slowly. "But... I do not think it is impossible." Actually saying those words made something tighten in his chest, making it hard to breathe- but if he thought of Gaara as just Gaara... He instinctively felt danger lay along that path, but Lee forced his hands to stop shaking.

[sandsworn]

I do not think it is impossible. At those words, Gaara's heartbeat quickened, and his eyes widened slightly. He felt Lee's hands tremble lightly under his, then go still.

Gaara looked at Lee, a touch of uncertainty--almost shyness--in his expression. His tongue crept out to moisten his lips. Then he nodded slowly, still holding Lee's gaze. "Then I want to keep courting you."

[verdant_lotus]

The feeling spiked at that, and Lee was able to identify it- fear. He swallowed, pushing the feeling back. He'd neveret fear of the unknown or nervousness hold him back before, Lee firmly reminded himself. He shouldn't start now. "Okay," Lee said. In a way, that single, simple word felt like sealing his fate.

[sandsworn]

The tension eased out of Gaara's shoulders. Things were still uncertain, but even so...Lee had not pushed him away. On some level, without realizing it, he had been bracing himself for the inevitable rejection--the moment when Lee would turn from him and refuse to meet his gaze, when those warm dark eyes would harden and grow cold, when he would look at Gaara with the same suspicion and horror that Gaara had seen in the eyes of so many people over the years. To see that in Lee's eyes would have killed something inside him, but still, some deep, buried part of him had expected it. This was more than he'd dared to hope for.

He lifted one of Lee's large, battered hands in both of his and placed a soft kiss on his scarred knuckles.

[verdant_lotus]

Lee stared at his hand- at the spot where Gaara's lips had touched. His skin was still tingling. Lee resisted the urge to run his hand over the spot just to banish the lingering sensation. Lee's cheeks slowly tinged pink. Part of him had to admire Gaara's persistence and boldness. He'd been fairly straightforward in courting Sakura, but Gaara redefined the word.

"Um. One thing," Lee said, and he glanced up at Gaara. "That- this was, tonight I mean-" He tried to somehow find the words, but actually saying them was beyond him.

[sandsworn]

Gaara looked up, meeting his gaze, and noticed the flush in Lee's cheeks. There was something appealing about that light, pink blush. "Yes?" he asked, a hint of curiosity in his tone.

[verdant_lotus]

Lee drew a deep breath. Actually saying it seemed about as pleasant as drinking poison, but if he didn't he knew Gaara wouldn't figure out what he meant. "I. Um. I am okay with..." Lee drew a deep breath. He could do this. "With- the idea of you doing that. But. Um. The- other thing. It is- um."

He -could- do this. Right. Except when he tried, no words came out.

[sandsworn]

"You're going to have to be more specific," Gaara said. He studied Lee's flushed face, and the pieces clicked into place. "Oh. You mean that you're not ready to try sex yet." He'd anticipated that Lee wouldn't want to jump into that, anyway, considering the way he usually reacted when Gaara so much as mentioned the word. "I've been thinking about it, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that either. That's not to say I don't want to. But I want to be prepared." He still didn't really believe the claim that it would cause permanent damage or make him limp for weeks, but he needed to do more research first, anyway; he didn't want to risk compromising their battle-readiness. He couldn't allow himself to forget that they were in the middle of a war.

He paused, thinking. "What about kissing? Can we do that again?"