questions

[soul_dead]

Dear gemma u asked me the other night if I had any questions for you, well I have I just couldn’t say them in front of you. Well here I go y do u miss me ? im not what you wanted then y would it just change? If I was such a good person and a good b/f to you then y would you get rid of something that was so good I thought you normally keep the things that are good not get rid of them. You said that you haven’t found any guy that is as good as im or was to you but you got rid of me the person that you compare everyone else with the best that you have had the best you found but u got rid of me I just don’t know whats real with you anymore. You said you hate seeing me because it makes you miss me and want me back. Yet you like seeing me I just don’t understand y you care so much now I understand that you care about me but we hardly talk anymore and we hardly see each other but when we do it’s like we are trying to work things out and we both drop hints that we still love each other and want each other we just don’t have the guts to come out and say exactly everything. You also said to me that your heart wasn’t in it to go back out with me but when u told me that you where over me you said you couldn’t have your heart in 2 places but It was only in one not 2. I know the reason we don’t talk as much as we use to is because its hard for me to listen about ur b/f and everything your also as wanting as iam for our relation ship back and everything to go back to how it was. But we both just don’t say anything about it. I just need to know if your going to say you miss me and you care about me and cry when you see me for what you have lost then don’t act like you don’t was us if you do. But if you don’t want us don’t cry and don’t miss and care about what we had because you stopped it and you have the power to correct it if you want to.im sure that you miss the things that we had and shared like we knew what each other was thinking without saying anything and how we where so comfortable with each other. I miss those things to and I miss you and I love you. Its just hard for me to call you and tell you because im so unsure about how you feel and what you want and im sick of being hurt by the ppl that im so close to. Well ill tell you how I go when I get out of hospital and ill let you know how my tests go even though it takes 6 weeks to get them back u might be in perth by then but I will still tell ya. I get out of here tonight at 6 im so glad that they let me use the comp its so borring. If you go to perth then I want to see ya one last time before you go

talk to ya l8r love newman.