001 ☠Video (backdated to the 23rd)
[ As the feed starts, there's not one...but two people. One is very recognizable -- Katsura Kotarou. The other is the one who apparently started the video, Okita Sougo. The two are clearly connected by a pair of handcuffs. Okita, however, begins talking in a stoic manner, his voice lacking any and all inflection. This is just business as normal. ]
Hello, Death City. I'm Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi -- Okita Sougo. It's an honor to be kidnapped together. Sorry, but our commander Kondo-san is in another castle, so I will be acting in his place. You're welcome to bring your problems and concerns to me, though that doesn't necessarily mean I'll care enough to do anything about them.
[ Okita's eyes narrow for a moment, thoughtfully. ]
Though as a topic of concern, I would like to issue a statement of warning directed at the Death City sun. Watching young girls while they change in their bedroom is grounds for arrest under charges of voyeurism and just plain creepiness. Also, being emo is no longer in these days, so should you decide not to cease, I will be forced to take you into custody. Simply because you keep the planet alive every day is no reason you should be allowed to do as you please. I've arrested much larger for much less.
[ There's another pause. ]
Ah. One final thing. [ He looks over at Katsura for a moment. Surely he's about to explain why they're attached! ]
.....
[ Nope. ]
If a man named Hijikata Toshiro is here or arrives here, please kill him immediately. He's a witch who will kill children and deplete the world's supply of mayo. Hoping to escape his cruel fate, Hijikata-san underwent gender reassignment surgery so he could no longer be called a 'witch' but he could not fully escape his destiny to be a supervillain. I trust in you to take him down, Shibusen. I have enclosed an accurate photograph. The only thing missing is that he breathes fire. The attack is called Cajun Mayo and it's deadly, so please heed my warning.
[ The feed ends there. ]
Hello, Death City. I'm Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi -- Okita Sougo. It's an honor to be kidnapped together. Sorry, but our commander Kondo-san is in another castle, so I will be acting in his place. You're welcome to bring your problems and concerns to me, though that doesn't necessarily mean I'll care enough to do anything about them.
[ Okita's eyes narrow for a moment, thoughtfully. ]
Though as a topic of concern, I would like to issue a statement of warning directed at the Death City sun. Watching young girls while they change in their bedroom is grounds for arrest under charges of voyeurism and just plain creepiness. Also, being emo is no longer in these days, so should you decide not to cease, I will be forced to take you into custody. Simply because you keep the planet alive every day is no reason you should be allowed to do as you please. I've arrested much larger for much less.
[ There's another pause. ]
Ah. One final thing. [ He looks over at Katsura for a moment. Surely he's about to explain why they're attached! ]
.....
[ Nope. ]
If a man named Hijikata Toshiro is here or arrives here, please kill him immediately. He's a witch who will kill children and deplete the world's supply of mayo. Hoping to escape his cruel fate, Hijikata-san underwent gender reassignment surgery so he could no longer be called a 'witch' but he could not fully escape his destiny to be a supervillain. I trust in you to take him down, Shibusen. I have enclosed an accurate photograph. The only thing missing is that he breathes fire. The attack is called Cajun Mayo and it's deadly, so please heed my warning.
[ The feed ends there. ]