first ♒ (text)

[vvanquishing]

[this early-dawn text message is kept short and sweet, though excitingly annoying to read. seriously what's with all the weird text people lately gosh.]

just for the record
magic and wwitches are FAKE
i dont believve a fuckin wword of this ludicrous bullshit story our kidnappers havve brewwed up
and if any a you havve any fuckin brains you wwont

Comments

[neverbeenworse]

Guess you weren't here last week...

[vvanquishing]

What the fuck is that supposed to mean.

[neverbeenworse]

Last week there were witches in the city. People stuck to each other. Big sand...things.

[A pause to stare at his desk and shift uncomfortably -- too much exposition in one breath]

Pretty real.

[shrugs -- sorry, bro?]

[vvanquishing]

[using the mighty powers of eridan logic, he pulls out the relevant information from that small speech.]

Okay, so all a you've had this delusion for at least a week then. If not more. Fuck, what'd I do to deserve this.

[neverbeenworse]

[...oh. One of those types.]

Yeah. All of us.

And...dunno. Don't think many people like it here.

[vvanquishing]

[one of those types, indeed.]

Well that doesn't surprise me one fuckin' bit. Far too many a you dirtgrubbin' humans gallawanting about here for anyone to like it here.

So when's the next time these phony pretend witches're supposed to come, huh?

[neverbeenworse]

Dunno.

Dunno about the real ones either...

so late, sorry ;;

[vvanquishing]

There aren't any real ones, you stupid fuck. [and now we have come full circle!] --augh!

Alright, alright, this is pointless. Tell me what you do here besides believe in fantasy claptrap nonsense.

WORRY NOT~

[neverbeenworse]

[gives a bit of a sigh]

Go to class. There's training and...other stuff.

[A veritable wealth of information]

[vvanquishing]

Training and... Other stuff. [he repeats this sceptically, then pauses to consider the statement.]

...Okay, answer me one more thing -- is every stinkin' human in this shithole town as infuriatingly unhelpful as you are, or are you just a special case?

[neverbeenworse]

Just special.

[vvanquishing]

Yeah. Yeah, I'll say you are.

[neverbeenworse]

....thanks.