(no subject)
It's been very hard to concentrate all day at work... my mind keeps drifting to my session with Julie. I have not even taken my notes about how i feel about my issues with dad yet. I am going to do it as soon as i'm done blogging. I think maybe an inner part of me does not want to acknowledge the ugliness of it.. and just brush it cos its always easier that way..
I was told by someone why do you need help like that.. i think you can choose how you wish to react to your parents.. but yes you cannot choose them. Just find a way to deal with it.. i really wish it were that easy.. brushing it away didnt work.. it keeps creeping back.. and i'm very sure it has affected alot of other things in my life... Julie was really excited for me.. and i'm feeling excited for me too.. i cannot wait to get rid of all this excess baggage... its just weighing me down too much..
I had a reading last nite.. and it was one of the hardest readings to do.. my first reaction to her when i first met her was.. i feel she is a little strange.. and i got the feeling i was not going to like her or she was going to test me.. and i hate it when this happens.. i think i'm getting a bit big headed at what i do..
So i started the reading.. and i really felt like i was talking alot of rubbish.. she started to tell me i had an interesting way of doing the reading... she's never seen it before.. and i thought shit she is testing me.. then at one point i had to put the cards back and start all over.. i felt the information that was coming to me was very disruptive.. it would flow then stop... flow then stop... i was getting irritated.. i looked at her in the eyes.. and i just felt like she was hiding something from me.. i kept feeling something terrible is about to happen.. but it was not death or anything.. but a health problem.. and it involved her husband..
Then to cut the story short... she's concerned about her health.. i looked at her again.. and i now could see she had a wig on.. and i could tell she was a cancer patient.. because she felt really tired to me.. and i could tell she was trying very hard to stay alert.. she needed sleep ... lots of it... her body was so tired.. and her eyes were welling.. i really wanted to reach out and hug her.. but she didnt feel like open enough to me to do that..
She said the doctors told her something really bad.. but i really could not see death.. i could see she was going to get better.. but it is going to take alot from her to see herself through this.. she is a strong woman... All i could do after the reading was keep praying and praying for her well being and hope gods gives her the strength to carry on.. cos she really felt like she was someone special..
I was told by someone why do you need help like that.. i think you can choose how you wish to react to your parents.. but yes you cannot choose them. Just find a way to deal with it.. i really wish it were that easy.. brushing it away didnt work.. it keeps creeping back.. and i'm very sure it has affected alot of other things in my life... Julie was really excited for me.. and i'm feeling excited for me too.. i cannot wait to get rid of all this excess baggage... its just weighing me down too much..
I had a reading last nite.. and it was one of the hardest readings to do.. my first reaction to her when i first met her was.. i feel she is a little strange.. and i got the feeling i was not going to like her or she was going to test me.. and i hate it when this happens.. i think i'm getting a bit big headed at what i do..
So i started the reading.. and i really felt like i was talking alot of rubbish.. she started to tell me i had an interesting way of doing the reading... she's never seen it before.. and i thought shit she is testing me.. then at one point i had to put the cards back and start all over.. i felt the information that was coming to me was very disruptive.. it would flow then stop... flow then stop... i was getting irritated.. i looked at her in the eyes.. and i just felt like she was hiding something from me.. i kept feeling something terrible is about to happen.. but it was not death or anything.. but a health problem.. and it involved her husband..
Then to cut the story short... she's concerned about her health.. i looked at her again.. and i now could see she had a wig on.. and i could tell she was a cancer patient.. because she felt really tired to me.. and i could tell she was trying very hard to stay alert.. she needed sleep ... lots of it... her body was so tired.. and her eyes were welling.. i really wanted to reach out and hug her.. but she didnt feel like open enough to me to do that..
She said the doctors told her something really bad.. but i really could not see death.. i could see she was going to get better.. but it is going to take alot from her to see herself through this.. she is a strong woman... All i could do after the reading was keep praying and praying for her well being and hope gods gives her the strength to carry on.. cos she really felt like she was someone special..