rambler
to be honest i dont care if anyone views this, i just want my thoughts to become something more tangable as opposed to annoying figments of noise that are preventing me from thinking clearly. mostly i have been incredibly frustrated lately, sometimes i wonder if all people are this consistently lonely and if there is something in the back of their mind telling them that a big part of their life is slipping away and is seriously imposing on how things are really ment to be. I feel like i've been moving backwards in my emotional mindset, regardless how wonderful people are i've never really felt connected to anything, there has always been something like an under current pulling me away from an enjoyable situation to suck me into my own little world of overannalyzing and self critisism. Even though i am a people person, the truth i that I really don't know how to behave around poeple, when to stop talking, when to say anything, when to take a risk, or when to play it safe. i have not been able to fit any of these things into a comfortable set of guidelines to be able to apply when associating with people, i just tend to listen. People think i am so thoughtful and caring when i mostly feel like an egotistical, emotional-hypochondriac. Naturally, dwelling on all of these thoughts isn't going to improve how I feel about anything, but right now I think I just need a break from trying to dismiss all of my troubles and trying to convince myself that they are inadequate and i am weak to be concerned by them. if anything, my slight case of worry induced insomnia will allow me to catch up on homework i have recently fell behind in.
here's to overanalyzing something that never existed.
emo margaret, out.
here's to overanalyzing something that never existed.
emo margaret, out.