And then there was that time i remembered that i have a lifejournal....
Sitting at my house. Cold. Im not wearing any pants. Im sorry if that was an overshare.. but im not. Deal with it.
So... new, news.. any new news... hmm.. well.. for one i have a boyfriend (<3 Erik) and although the start was rocky.. i think we're ok. Either way, im happy. Very happy. It amazing how much your mood can be chaged and made better when someone just holds you and talks to you.-- and thats all i have to say about that.
I miss my Sarah. I havnt even looked at LJ for months, and then today i sign on and read all my friends entries. I love you too babe. Call me, cuz i need you.
This isnt new.. but i would just like to reiterate to the internet community that my father is severely unhinged. Last night i was out wasteing time and driving around w/ erik and he calls me asking if i would stop and get him a hot fudge sundae. Mind you.. my father has diabetes.. and his blood sugar had been up to 267 that day... not good ice cream blood, to say the least. But i did as i was asked (dont want to know what would have happened if i had dared to argue) so i stop and get it.. and i called him to ask what toppings he would like. He got pissed and stared yelling at me about.. well im not to sure actually.. something about how i should know, and fuck it, and not to bother him with that bullshit. So we hung up and i just sucked it up and brought it home and gave it to him... and Erik and i retreated into my room to watch Bowling for Columbine. 3/4 into the movie he calls me into his room and lectures/yells at me about some obsure mix of my grades/lies/money/chip/ice cream/cleaning/the house/pets/his heart contition/blood pressue/blood sugar/how i fail at life and im not gonna get into collage/my friends/going out/being a good parent/being an athoritarian/how i should pity him... and alot of other things but i think that list is getting pretty long. So... i finally get my self out of the line of fire and go back to the movie, more than a little shaken up. But i got over it, we finished watching and Erik went home. (cuz it was like 11:15pm) As i said gbye to him out the door, my dad again starts in on me. about all of the aforementioned things... plus some new things that didnt really make any sence becasue they were so far fetched. 2 and a half house later i thought i had heard him out, and went to take a shower.. and nick calls. I was on the phone for literlaly 13 seconds (i looked) when my dad comes exploding up the staris and starts beating the hell out of my door. (it was locked cuz i was getting naked cuz i was gonna take a shower) I opened the door (as i was telling nick id call him back) and he grabed the phone out my my hand and threw it across the room. (im soooo glad it wasnt seriously injured) Screams at me for another 20someodd minutes, this time including that i need to get new friends becasue he doesnt approve of the ones i have. He says that they're not normal, and i shouldnt be friends with anyone who wears black or has any pericrings. Also that everyone im close to has problems, and he doesnt understand why i cant just be with normal people. NEWSFLASH: everyone's got problems. This was the moment that i made my one single snide remark or the night. He was going on about normality and my lack thereof, and i was like "my friends wear black and you're a frightened right wing extreamist, oil and water, what do you want?" -Finally he was sitting on his bed reeming me out and he like.. yelped... and grabed his chest and arm and told me to get the fuck out of his room. (i think he was having like a minor heart attack or something) a little while later he come in and was like "i cant do this now, stop screaming at me, im having heart problems" (mind you, i hadnt raised my tone or voice at all the entire night, that last remark was said ironically and matter-of-factly, i know better than to overstep HIS bounds.) And leaves the room, calling out "you woulndt care if i died anyway" and slamming his door behind him. So im left sitting there, completely numb and wanting to die.(i cant even begin to repeat the things the bastard said to me) I took my shower and went to bed. Sleep is magical. Woke up, went to school this mornning (it was fucking freezing) and then during 7th period...he calls me. --"im sorry i was a little bit hard on you last night, but it wasnt my fault my blood sugar was up to 512, but im not going to call a doctor becasue i dont want to go on shots"-- Im sorry daddy dearest. That does not excuse anything. See a fucking doctor asshole. It is not my responsibility as a teenager girl to care for an adult child. Im sorry, but its not. UGh. Im done i guess. but i did conclude that i need to start finding homes for Vixie, Loki, Pandora and Lyla. (Sterling and the birds can stay-shes my child and love until her dyeing day, and is reletively selfsufficient anyway, they they are his babies) But its not fair to the others, im never home, and they shouldnt have to live in a household with soo much screaming and bad vibes. I feel horible about it cuz i love them all... but its the best thing for them.
Aside from that... im ok i guess. i have to go pick up Erik and go to a show at the JCC. But first i think maybe i should put on some pants. Perferably black ones... as i am working tech tonight.
One last thought: Buck Fush.
-Fin.
So... new, news.. any new news... hmm.. well.. for one i have a boyfriend (<3 Erik) and although the start was rocky.. i think we're ok. Either way, im happy. Very happy. It amazing how much your mood can be chaged and made better when someone just holds you and talks to you.-- and thats all i have to say about that.
I miss my Sarah. I havnt even looked at LJ for months, and then today i sign on and read all my friends entries. I love you too babe. Call me, cuz i need you.
This isnt new.. but i would just like to reiterate to the internet community that my father is severely unhinged. Last night i was out wasteing time and driving around w/ erik and he calls me asking if i would stop and get him a hot fudge sundae. Mind you.. my father has diabetes.. and his blood sugar had been up to 267 that day... not good ice cream blood, to say the least. But i did as i was asked (dont want to know what would have happened if i had dared to argue) so i stop and get it.. and i called him to ask what toppings he would like. He got pissed and stared yelling at me about.. well im not to sure actually.. something about how i should know, and fuck it, and not to bother him with that bullshit. So we hung up and i just sucked it up and brought it home and gave it to him... and Erik and i retreated into my room to watch Bowling for Columbine. 3/4 into the movie he calls me into his room and lectures/yells at me about some obsure mix of my grades/lies/money/chip/ice cream/cleaning/the house/pets/his heart contition/blood pressue/blood sugar/how i fail at life and im not gonna get into collage/my friends/going out/being a good parent/being an athoritarian/how i should pity him... and alot of other things but i think that list is getting pretty long. So... i finally get my self out of the line of fire and go back to the movie, more than a little shaken up. But i got over it, we finished watching and Erik went home. (cuz it was like 11:15pm) As i said gbye to him out the door, my dad again starts in on me. about all of the aforementioned things... plus some new things that didnt really make any sence becasue they were so far fetched. 2 and a half house later i thought i had heard him out, and went to take a shower.. and nick calls. I was on the phone for literlaly 13 seconds (i looked) when my dad comes exploding up the staris and starts beating the hell out of my door. (it was locked cuz i was getting naked cuz i was gonna take a shower) I opened the door (as i was telling nick id call him back) and he grabed the phone out my my hand and threw it across the room. (im soooo glad it wasnt seriously injured) Screams at me for another 20someodd minutes, this time including that i need to get new friends becasue he doesnt approve of the ones i have. He says that they're not normal, and i shouldnt be friends with anyone who wears black or has any pericrings. Also that everyone im close to has problems, and he doesnt understand why i cant just be with normal people. NEWSFLASH: everyone's got problems. This was the moment that i made my one single snide remark or the night. He was going on about normality and my lack thereof, and i was like "my friends wear black and you're a frightened right wing extreamist, oil and water, what do you want?" -Finally he was sitting on his bed reeming me out and he like.. yelped... and grabed his chest and arm and told me to get the fuck out of his room. (i think he was having like a minor heart attack or something) a little while later he come in and was like "i cant do this now, stop screaming at me, im having heart problems" (mind you, i hadnt raised my tone or voice at all the entire night, that last remark was said ironically and matter-of-factly, i know better than to overstep HIS bounds.) And leaves the room, calling out "you woulndt care if i died anyway" and slamming his door behind him. So im left sitting there, completely numb and wanting to die.(i cant even begin to repeat the things the bastard said to me) I took my shower and went to bed. Sleep is magical. Woke up, went to school this mornning (it was fucking freezing) and then during 7th period...he calls me. --"im sorry i was a little bit hard on you last night, but it wasnt my fault my blood sugar was up to 512, but im not going to call a doctor becasue i dont want to go on shots"-- Im sorry daddy dearest. That does not excuse anything. See a fucking doctor asshole. It is not my responsibility as a teenager girl to care for an adult child. Im sorry, but its not. UGh. Im done i guess. but i did conclude that i need to start finding homes for Vixie, Loki, Pandora and Lyla. (Sterling and the birds can stay-shes my child and love until her dyeing day, and is reletively selfsufficient anyway, they they are his babies) But its not fair to the others, im never home, and they shouldnt have to live in a household with soo much screaming and bad vibes. I feel horible about it cuz i love them all... but its the best thing for them.
Aside from that... im ok i guess. i have to go pick up Erik and go to a show at the JCC. But first i think maybe i should put on some pants. Perferably black ones... as i am working tech tonight.
One last thought: Buck Fush.
-Fin.