trashed
When Jin decides to make it worldwide all on his own, Kame is understanding. America--Los Angeles--L.A.--is what Jin wants. It's what Jin needs. The Johnny's Entertainment way of doing things never suited him. It was only time before all of his bitching and moaning turned into planned action, never mind the lack of soundness in said planning. Kame couldn't say that he wasn't worried, couldn't say that he believed in Jin's ability to make it just the way he wanted to, just like in the movies. No, this was a huge gamble, bigger than anyone could gauge and plan for and imagine. Just the thought of pursuing something like that himself made his heart clench tightly, anxiousness causing his chest to swell.
But, honestly, it's not the type of thing that he and Jin ever talk about. It's not the type of thing that Kame worries about, these days. He has his own life and his own career. Things that were so important, dramatic, and life-changing years before now seem to mean so little in the grand scheme of things. And in the grand scheme of things, he had to focus on himself. Jin, someone who affected so much of his beginnings, was less and less pertinent as time went on. Life wasn't just baseball anymore. Hell, life wasn't even just being a Johnny anymore. Things used to be so different, so simple.
Every now and then, he closes his eyes, holds his breath, and clears his mind by thinking about those easy past lives.
When he opens his eyes and starts to breathe again, he finds it a little bit easier to be Kamenashi Kazuya, idol extraordinaire, the toll that it takes on him disguised by the genuine enjoyment he receives from the job. It's hard, but he does love it. This is his life now. This is what he wanted, and this is what he got.
He's kind of happy he doesn't have Jin's wanderlust, that he doesn't feel the need to be searching for something that he can't quite grasp, that he can't even quite comprehend.
Jin was always kind of an idiot, anyway. Kame knows enough about Jin's career in America to know that Jin's lazy indifference isn't really putting the investment into him to good use. Anger flits through his mind as quickly as a match is lit and fizzles out. He'd do it better. He'd do it right.
He sighs. But that's not what he wants, so it doesn't even matter. Sometimes Jin infuriates him without having to do a single thing.
But, honestly, it's not the type of thing that he and Jin ever talk about. It's not the type of thing that Kame worries about, these days. He has his own life and his own career. Things that were so important, dramatic, and life-changing years before now seem to mean so little in the grand scheme of things. And in the grand scheme of things, he had to focus on himself. Jin, someone who affected so much of his beginnings, was less and less pertinent as time went on. Life wasn't just baseball anymore. Hell, life wasn't even just being a Johnny anymore. Things used to be so different, so simple.
Every now and then, he closes his eyes, holds his breath, and clears his mind by thinking about those easy past lives.
When he opens his eyes and starts to breathe again, he finds it a little bit easier to be Kamenashi Kazuya, idol extraordinaire, the toll that it takes on him disguised by the genuine enjoyment he receives from the job. It's hard, but he does love it. This is his life now. This is what he wanted, and this is what he got.
He's kind of happy he doesn't have Jin's wanderlust, that he doesn't feel the need to be searching for something that he can't quite grasp, that he can't even quite comprehend.
Jin was always kind of an idiot, anyway. Kame knows enough about Jin's career in America to know that Jin's lazy indifference isn't really putting the investment into him to good use. Anger flits through his mind as quickly as a match is lit and fizzles out. He'd do it better. He'd do it right.
He sighs. But that's not what he wants, so it doesn't even matter. Sometimes Jin infuriates him without having to do a single thing.