The Sims Medieval: Dangerous Minds
Hello, one and all, and welcome to another quest in The Sims Medieval! It was a close race as usual in the votes, but luckily we once again have a winner!
It's Liechtenstein! Or Lili as she will be known in this game. She will be taking over her brother's place from our last, failed playthrough and be our Merchant. Her traits and flaw are:
Good: Good Sims go out of their way to help friends and family in need, are charitable with their money, and frequently comfort those around them.
Friendly (it was originally Haggler, as I assumed she'd be taking after her brother, but I figured it'd be better to have traits she's actually exhibited in canon, even if it's not that different from Good): Friendly Sims love being around friends, and are great at making and keeping friendships.
Puny: Puny Sims are physically weak and feeble. They rarely can hold their own in a fight, and strenuous activity quickly leaves them tired and sore.
I know she hasn't really been shown to be physically weak, but I couldn't find any flaws that really fitted her, so I'm going with assumptions here. Quest-wise we are leaning ever so slightly to the Tredonian side, and there are currently no quests to sway us to the Aarbyvillians, so we'll be having a quest unrelated to the war at the moment. I believe several of our current heroes would appreciate if the peasants (France's words, not mine) got a bit of an education. Let's use our new Merchant for such a goal, shall we? I give you... Dangerous Minds.
~~~~
It had come to Romulus' attention that the villagers had started up a daily educational gathering in the town square for the children of the kingdom. He was pleased to hear of this intiative and decided it was in his interest to witness the class first-hand.
Well, actually it was mostly because it was a scientific fact that kids were adorable and he needed some relaxation after the whole war thing. But education was good too, he supposed.
(Note: It's such a shame the Wizard isn't involved in this quest. Can you imagine how cute it'd be with England acting teacher for a bunch of children, rewarding them with cool magic tricks if they were good?)
"...and that's why puppydog ears make the best glove lining. Take notes, there will be a test on this next week."
Apparantly class was just ending by the time Romulus got to the town square. Ash the teacher stepped down from the platform he was standing on, he noticed Romulus in the crowd.
"Oh look, class, we have a special visitor today. To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence, your highness?" he asked, bowing. The children soon did the same, including the girls. Science wasn't wrong about them, so cute!
"So, your highness, what did you think of my class?" the teacher asked, interrupting his adorable thoughts. Well, Romulus hadn't really learnt anything about puppies and gloves in king school (other than that puppies grew into hunting dogs, one of the few classes he had payed attention in), but the teacher had to be competent, right? And it sure sounded to him like it made sense; puppies are soft, gloves should be soft.
"I thought your class was great! But maybe we shouldn't make gloves out of puppies anyway. I mean, they're so cute!" Romulus advised the teacher.
"Thank you, Majesty. I've always had a passion for teaching. When it comes to useful information, you could say I'm full of it. I only wish we had better resources that my lessons might have a greater impact," the teacher replied with a grateful smile. Well, Romulus WAS standing right in front of a merchant's house, maybe she could help?
"I'd be glad to help you! What'd you have in mind?"
The teacher bowed again. He really liked doing that, didn't he? Reminded Romulus of that black-haired guy the kingdom wizard kept inviting over. "Thank you, my Lord, I am ever grateful. If I may make a humble request, the students would benefit greatly from a tour of the castle. Seeing how our land is run would be most educational for them!"
That was a great idea! He could show them how to use a sword and all kinds of stuff! "It's a deal!", he told the teacher, grinning in excitement!
~~~~
Meanwhile, Lili Zwingli was just returning from the woods, where she'd been searching for rare herbs to sell. She had been particularily lucky this time; she had found her way to a ritual held by the tall, blue elves, which happened to leave a bunch of mana stones as a bi-product. That fortune teller she met earlier who promised she'd find great riches was right!
When she returned to her little stands, she found another very unusual thing. The king was standing right there, and when he saw her, he waved her over!
"May I help you, Your Majesty?" she asked him with a small curtsy.
"Yes you can!" the king replied with a smile that told her he was having a good day too. "There's this new teacher around, and he's holding classes for the town children. I want you to get more supplies for him. You know, school stuff."
"Of course I'll help, my Lord," Lili replied in a respectful tone. She did owe her current prosperity to proper schooling after all! Well, it was by her older brother, not an actual school, but the principle was the same. "I will gather the requisite supplies for a proper curriculum. Perhaps your influence will convince more children to attend the classes?"
"Great!" The king patted her on he shoulder and she headed straight to the docks. Her stands would have to stay un-opened for a day or two, she was on a mission from the king himself! She knew of a hidden library a short boat trip away, and books were made to be used, weren't they?
When she had travelled for a while, a terrible pirate ship appeared as if from nowhere and quickly approached the ship that Lili was traveling on. A rhythmic drum beat could be heard and oars tore deep furrows in the ocean as the wicked ship prepared for attack. The crew panicked as Lili stared straight ahead, unable to make a decision at first.
After what felt like hours, she decided this was not the time to play hero of the seas. The current mission was far too important to risk it in the pursuit of fame and fortune. It was better to flee!
But alas, Lili was surprised and reacted too late, which meant that she had no time to turn the ship and flee; she was forced to fight. The two ships clashed in a hurricane of steel, men, swearing and smoke and in the end, none of the sides won. The damaged pirate ship limped off on the waves while Lili and what remained of her crew pondered their good fortune for surviving in the first place.
~~~~
She sure was a nice girl. And Romulus appreciated everyone with a hand in giving him time to spend with children. Especially since that meant time he didn't have to do his boring royal duties on. He should reward her in some way. The teacher would get his new supplies for the school, but what should he get her? She didn't seem like the type for most of the stuff he enjoyed, so what could he get her?
That's when he got an idea. He'd done some reading for once after the war started, and he knew just the thing to get her!
When Romulus returned from the village on his short shopping trip, it was already getting dark. How could the day have gone by so fast? 'Looks like that castle tour has to wait til next day,' he thought as he returned to the castle. Well, he hadn't had any woohooing done today, so he guessed that was a reason as good as any.
The next day, after getting his daily fix of woohoo that night, he decided to go talk to the teacher straight after breakfast. He couldn't wait to show the kids around!
As he promised himself, he went right down to the town square. The teacher and his students was already there too. Didn't these classes take time away from farmwork and stuff like that? But he wasn't a teacher. Or a non-king.
"Excellent, Your Majesty!" the teacher replied when Romulus told him he was ready to take them to the castle. "Children, we are taking a field trip to the castle, I expect exemplary behaviour. Follow me and stay close."
The children flocked around him right away, throwing eager glances at the castle in the distance. So, so cute, so good children! He'd hug them all if he didn't have to worry about dignity and all that stuff!
They soon arrived at the castle and after Romulus had assured his advisor that no, they weren't all his kids, he started showing them stuff like his sword, his throne and his mistresses (although he made sure not to actually tell the children what a mistress was).
"So this is where king Romulus lives, children. Now remember; the dust on the floor here is worth more than your entire home. So don't touch anything or you may find your family working off debt to His Majesty for generations," the teacher said to no-one in particular, although Romulus had a feeling it was practiced. It might've had to do with how he trailed off when Romulus let the children take turns sitting on the throne. After every child had their turn, the teacher cleared his throat.
"Next, we'll take a look at the reception hall. Come along, children. And Amalthea, get your finger out of your nose this instant."
So they continued to the reception hall, and Romulus really hoped the teacher had practiced this, because he really had no idea what to talk about.
"This is the reception hall, where His Majesty meets all the Lords and Ladies of the land and they have grand feasts where more food is thrown away than we're likely to see in a lifetime." Apparently he had. Well, that was good. "Remember, His Majesty worked hard to earn all these luxuaries. If you study hard, maybe someday you can be successful too."
To end his own part of the tour, Romulus gave the children and teacher each a small goblet of wine from the royal oak barrels and playfully clinked his own goblet with them when they wanted to play Lord or Lady.
"Everyone thank His Majesty for the tour," the teacher said after everyone (including himself) had finished their wine. Romulus was surrounded by a bunch of mumbled to cheerful "thanks"es and "thank you"s.
As they left through the large wooden doors, going on their way back to town, Romulus suddenly remembered what Lili told him. He should inspire more children to learn!
~~~~
The library had the perfect book, but the Library Keepers wouldn't give it to her unless she could help them clear out their bookworm infestation. Where would she get bookworm poison? For now, the teacher would have to do without a lesson book.
The other thing the teacher would need was ink. That was a lot easier to get, just a quick trip to the village and everything was taken care of.
Lili soon finished her business in the village, and stocked up a bit on eggs while she was there. When she came back, the class was already just returning from something. Perfect timing.
"Excuse me, sir! I have your teaching supplies here!" she cried out to the teacher, and he looked up at her. "I'm afraid I couldn't get my hand on any good books, but I got some ink. The same kind the monks use too, made from the finest vinegar, copper water, gum and wasp eggs."
"Thank you, miss Zwingli, most helpful!" he said as he took the ink bottles with a grin. "Say, might you acquire another thing for me? The Withering Rose Inn at the village is overrun with mice. I'd love to use them in a lesson. You'd need to catch about five of them."
Catching mice? Wasn't that something new adventurers did until they were strong enough to deal with real monsters? But if there was one thing she'd learnt from her brother (aside from "if they're not there to buy something, don't talk to them or do anything they say") it was that hard work was always worth it if there was profit involved. So off she went to the inn.
~~~~
When Romulus returned to the town square (he'd heard a really hot sorceress was hanging around), he found a kid sitting around, looking for berries among the bushes and distinctly not being in school.
"Hey, kid, aren't you going to be in school? It's royally approved!" he exclaimed, smiling at the kid and giving him a thumbs up that'd put Sir Alfred to shame. The kid grinned back at him.
"I didn't realise we had a school now! That's so neat! I want to learn how to make my own waterwheel when I grow up! I'm gonna build a whole city of water wheels, I'll call it Waterwheel City and I'll live there! I'll go join that class right away!"
With those words, he skipped away and soon joined the other children. Romulus was doing great on this convincing thing! So, Waterwheel City... reminded him of that city of canals he was planning a while back. Maybe he should get back to work on it, he DID have a really good feeling about it.
(Note: According to Wikipedia Venice seems to have been founded sometime during (or after, I don't know exactly when it fell) Roman times, but I'm playing Rome so these totally count as Roman times! Loopholes for the win!)
That's when he decided to go watch the Pit Beast get fed, but on the way he found another child hanging around the small graveyard. That wasn't somewhere you usually saw kids, unless they were daring each other to stay the night.
"What're you doing here? Haven't you heard a school has started in the town square?" he asked her with the same smile as before. But unlike the boy he met earlier, this girl just looked to the side with an expression that reminded Romulus of his advisor.
"I don't like the other kids. They tease me because my parents both died trying to catch a giant buzzard-wasp for my birthday dinner." She sighed. "I wish they were still around. They always knew the best thing to do. 'Cept about the wasp."
Well, that was... tragic. But Romulus wasn't a wizard, so he couldn't do anything about it, and he figured the best way to help her forget it was to get her to join the school. But this girl was probably only going to listen to her parents. So the fact that they were dead was a problem. But once again, what could Romulus do about it?
...Actually, he might've just thought of something.
~~~~
Lili spotted a mouse alone in the middle of the floor. It stared at her and blinked. Luckily, Lili had brought some cheese just for this situation. She placed the cheese on the floor and took a few steps back, opening her arms wide as if to say "All yours, little guy."
Her muscles tensed as the mouse move forwards towards the cheese. Lili lunged forward! The mouse was too quick for her, snatching the cheese before she could stop it. Lili swore she could hear it laughing as it scurried off to hide in the shadows.
~~~~
"What... did His Majesty say he wanted?" the servant girl stammered in confusion.
"A ghost costume! Your king has a brilliant plan to keep a little girl from growing up into a wasp-hating criminal!" Romulus explained to her. This was going to be amazing!
"I... ehm... Yes, my liege, right away!" She did a quick kneel before running off to find his costume.
~~~~
After a quick detour for more cheese (a lot more cheese, just in case), Lili found herself eye to eye with another mouse. Maybe a more direct method would work better...
Lili threw herself towards the mouse, but it slipped away and ran under a pile of boxes. In her wild chase, Lili dove in among the boxes, scattering them in all directions as the mouse tried to find a safe haven. Lili eventually ended up victorious with not just one, but two mice! How did you like that, mice?
~~~~
Since he didn't really having anything to do, Romulus spent some time eating, playing some games and, of course, chatting up the resident female guards.
Finally, his servant returned with his ghost costume and judging by her looks, she'd gone through a real adventure getting it. He liked loyalty like that!
"Here's your ghost costume. Don't ask," she said with a tone that somehow managed to be both flat and threatening at once.
~~~~
Lili saw a mouse peeking out from a hole in the wall. His beady little eyes were locked on the cheese in her hand. She was feeling slightly drunk of her last victory, but she still knew it was a bad idea to just put her hand into random holes in the wall. Who knew what diseases those mice were carrying? So she put the cheese on the floor and waited. Slowly but surely, the mouse came out of its hole and began to nibble the cheese.
"That's right, mister mouse, enjoy the cheese while you can. Your doom is approaching."
Lili struck! The mouse was not prepared for the attack and was soon safe in the bag.
~~~~
Romulus put on his fool-proof ghost costume a short distance from the young girl's hiding place. Now that he had a costume, he could convince the girl he was her father and tell her she should go join the school. And the sun was just starting to go down too, perfect time for a ghost to appear! He revealed himself to the girl and put on his best ghost impression.
"WOOOOO! I am the ghost of your father, little girl! I overheard the powerful, wise and extremely sexy king Romulus from the underworld, and I wanted to tell you that you should totally join the school he mentioned! OoooooooOOOOOOoooo!"
The girl blinked. "But... my father's blond."
"I... uh... I changed my hair colour in the nether, I mean underworld! They have really good baaaarbers!"
"...AAAAAAAAAAH!" the girl screamed. Romulus knew it, his ghost impression had never failed before. Even if this was the first time he was using it. "Dad, you're a ghost! I'll do whatever you say, just don't haunt me!"
She ran towards the town square as fast as her little legs could carry her. Well, that felt like a job well done to Romulus. Proud of himself, he sauntered back to the castle, idly wondering what the servants would make for dinner.
~~~~
Despite her best efforts, Lili couldn't spot any more mice. Wasn't this place supposed to be lousy with them? Lili decided that if she could not find the mice, the mice would come to her. Maybe if she tried to call them to her? With some careful squeaking sounds and intense concentration, she would call them. "Come, my little friends, and feast on the glorious cheese."
Lili imagined herself as a mouse, she thought like a mouse, felt like a mouse and before she knew it, she started squeaking and feeling a craving for cheese. With complete concentration, she called her mouse friends, asking them to come and take part in the glorious feast, but no mice responded to her call. Lili turned around and saw the innkeeper standing there, staring at her while she gave an embarassed laugh.
Well, this only left one final resort. Truth to be told, this was actually her first idea to get them out, but she didn't want to hurt the mice, both out of concern for them and the children. Lili figured out a sneaky strategy: put the cheese on a hook, put the hook on a piece of string, put the string through a tackle, tie the string to a rock and throw the stone on the mouse when it tried to take the cheese. Bam! Instant mousetrap!
With her cunning trap set, Lili awaited her prey. Soon, two mice appeared, smelling the cheese. Lili waited patiently... patiently... and triggered the trap! The mice were caught and Lili could easily put them in the sack. She was finally finished! She only now realised how tired she was feeling, and she looked through the window to see the moon high on the sky. Did she really spend all day catching mice? She'd need to raise her prices a bit to make up for all the lost sales...
(Edit: What scenario you get and what option works is random, so I had to do a bit of save scumming before the trap actually worked. Also, it actually only caught one mouse but I didn't want to bore you with this forever, especially since there are only so many scenarios and choices before I have to start repeating myself.)
But that was a concern for the next day. Right now, she was tired and needed to get to bed. The mice would survive one night.
As she went to pay her taxes the next morning, Lili found a surprise in the messenger post. One of the pidgeons were just barely carrying a bottle marked "bookworm poison", with a note attached that read "So I don't have to pay you - Withered Rose Inn". This was certainly very convenient, she could get that book from the secret library now!
This fit Lili well, she needed to go on a business trip to Crafthole anyway.
After her business was finished, she headed towards the secret library instead. The trip continued without much incident, besides an encounter with a mermaid that was ruined when the crewmembers tried to catch her. Apparently mermaid flesh was supposed to give you magical powers, but Lili really didn't think that was a good excuse.
(Note: Yes, this is the same random event that happened to Vash way back in The Fisherman's Challenge, for those few of you who may remember it. I find it amusing who, of all people, this happens to considering that XD)
But beside the little mermaid mishap, the trip went perfectly and Lili went straight to the Library Keepers and traded the book for the bookworm poison. As she left the building, she could swear she heard scurrying not unlike the mice from the inn and high-pitched screams. That was a VERY big bookworm problem.
She spent the whole trip back to Hetalia reading the book. It really was amazing teaching material for all subjects, with gems of information children might never learn otherwise, like that treacle was an excellent cure for sleeplessness or that storms were caused by people from a cloud country in the sky, who used it as a cover to steal the farmers' crops.
When she'd arrived at her home shore, she once again headed straight towards her goal, home, to pick up the mice (they were still moving, luckily). Of course she wanted to help the children have a good future, but she'd spent far too much time with far too little profit.
Once she arrived at the town square, it was once again getting late and the children were just about to go home.
"I have the mice, and I managed to get the book as well!" she informed the teacher with a proud smile. He gazed in wonder at the book and the barely squirming bag.
"Where did you find this? Remarkable! The children of Hetalia are indebted to you, miss! And these mice! I've been telling the children we would be learning to juggle for a long time and now we'll finally be able to do it! Oh, Watcher bless you!"
Lili giggled. "I'm glad you like them. It's my pleasure to help. Now if you excuse me, I need to inform His Majesty." She did a quick curtsy and headed towards the palace. Provided she didn't need to do anything more, she'd be finished by time for dinner.
She already knew the way to the castle by heart. It was an unofficial law that no commoners were allowed in the castle, but king Romulus never actually enforced it; some said it was because he was so kind to his subjects, more critical people said it was because he never bothered. No matter the reason, it was easy to get into the castle, and almost as easy to get an audience with the king himself.
After asking around, she soon found the king in his chambers. Obviously she would never come in without at the very least knocking, but the door was open and she could see him posing dramatically in front of a mirror.
"Excuse me, Your Highness, but I've finished equipping the teacher with supplies."
The king looked at her and she did a quick curtsy.
"That's great! I knew I could trust you, miss Zwingli!" he exclaimed, patting her on the shoulder. "Actually, I have a little present for you!" He handed the confused Lili a small pipe adorned with blue and yellow lines. "Try blowing it!"
When Lili did...
A large parrot flew through the door (where it was hiding to begin with, she had no idea) and landed on her shoulder! Lili jumped with a small "eep!" as the bird playfully started nibbling her hair.
"It's a Spix macaw!" king Romulus declared, apparently ignorant of the look of shock on Lili's face. "I looked up some of these birds after I got a parrot from Clarisa Blackriver! They say Spix macaws bring good luck, you know! My own parrot always brings me all kinds of stuff, so I thought a merchant like you would like that."
Lili's heartbeat slowed down again once she managed to get the bird to stop (though she lost a few strands of hair in the process). Well, free wares from far away would be useful; she had found that no matter how useless something seemed, there were always someone who wanted it. She'd even managed to sell a dead rat she found once, to the pit beast handler. And besides, who were she to decline a gift from His Royal Majesty himself?
"I... Thank you, Your Majesty!" she got out, still a little stunned from the suddenness of it all.
"Glad you like it! I'm off to ask if the teacher needs anything more!" the king replied, waving offhandedly as he left the room, leaving Lili to fully digest what just happened.
~~~~
"Your Majesty, there is only one more thing you could do to ensure a strong future for education in our kingdom. Write a new law requiring part of the taxes you collect to be used for the schooling of our children."
Well, Romulus could do that! He wasn't really sure what exactly they'd use less money on though, considering they were already using all their tax money. But he had people for that kind of thing, they'd probably think of something.
As he returned to the castle, the sun once again came down. It felt odd that this little adventure had taken three whole days, but it was worth it! He felt a lot less stressed after doing something good for the kingdom children. But a small thought kept nagging in his head, burning its way through his usual thoughts revolving around hunting and ladies. If he couldn't deal with this new war somehow, without picking sides, what would happen to the children? Romulus loved kids, he didn't want to see any hurt! There had to be some way...
~~~~
Well, guys, I hope you enjoyed another quest from little me! You get free chocolate cake if you catch the references I littered over this quest. I'll give you a hint: There's three of them, and they're all references to the same thing.
Also, we're going to do the voting a little differently this time around. We may put a lot of emphasis on the war, but that doesn't change that the ambition we actually have is about quests and reaching platinum level in said quests. Now, obviously, being able to do more quests in one game is good both for the ambition and for bringing you guys more entertainment. As luck would have it, there is actually an annexation quest that lowers the cost for expensive quests. However, we need a Kingball Court for that and if we buy one of those, we won't afford a new hero for next time. But fear not, for I have already a plan for this sort of event. You see, you are the important ones here and I want you to have a say in this little Let's Play.
So this time, you're going to vote for quests. The principle is the same, you pick from a list and (if you want to) tell me in the comments what you voted for. However, this time I will post the names of the available quests and a brief description as provided by the game. You simply pick the one you think seems the most interesting and I will play the one with the most votes! Here are the quests you can pick from:
A Missing Child: Hetalia was abuzz with the news of a child gone missing. Recovering the child safely would be an incredible boon to kingdom morale.
The Rise of a Playwright: A great kingdom need a skilled bard, telling stories of heroic deeds and epic battles. The Kingdom of Hetalia was no exception. Does Francois have what it takes to become a bard whose tales and songs will be remembered through history?
Bric-a-Brac Day: The king of Hetalia felt a sudden craving for a new holiday, and thus, "bric-a-brac day" was born! It was a great treasure hunt that was to be held every year, and the first contest would to start on the very same day. All were invited to participate in the hunt throughout the kingdom. Who would be crowned the best seeker on bric-a-brac day?
War Games: The ancient tradition of military sanctioned contests had reached Hetalia. It was a time filled with excitement and joy. Representatives traveled from all countries to come together and take part in friendly competitions and diplomacy. As host of jousting games, the hopes of victory were very high. Who would be crowned the winner and thus stand as unsurpassed master of the land?
The Legend of the Talking Frog: There had been rumors in Hetalia the past few days about a talking frog named Rana. It wasn't just a new fairytale that had captivated the people of the kingdom. There really was a magical frog somewhere out there. Someone had to find this talking frog!
Take your pick and hopefully we'll be able to return to the war soon enough!
Edit: The poll is now closed.
It's Liechtenstein! Or Lili as she will be known in this game. She will be taking over her brother's place from our last, failed playthrough and be our Merchant. Her traits and flaw are:
Good: Good Sims go out of their way to help friends and family in need, are charitable with their money, and frequently comfort those around them.
Friendly (it was originally Haggler, as I assumed she'd be taking after her brother, but I figured it'd be better to have traits she's actually exhibited in canon, even if it's not that different from Good): Friendly Sims love being around friends, and are great at making and keeping friendships.
Puny: Puny Sims are physically weak and feeble. They rarely can hold their own in a fight, and strenuous activity quickly leaves them tired and sore.
I know she hasn't really been shown to be physically weak, but I couldn't find any flaws that really fitted her, so I'm going with assumptions here. Quest-wise we are leaning ever so slightly to the Tredonian side, and there are currently no quests to sway us to the Aarbyvillians, so we'll be having a quest unrelated to the war at the moment. I believe several of our current heroes would appreciate if the peasants (France's words, not mine) got a bit of an education. Let's use our new Merchant for such a goal, shall we? I give you... Dangerous Minds.
~~~~
It had come to Romulus' attention that the villagers had started up a daily educational gathering in the town square for the children of the kingdom. He was pleased to hear of this intiative and decided it was in his interest to witness the class first-hand.
Well, actually it was mostly because it was a scientific fact that kids were adorable and he needed some relaxation after the whole war thing. But education was good too, he supposed.
(Note: It's such a shame the Wizard isn't involved in this quest. Can you imagine how cute it'd be with England acting teacher for a bunch of children, rewarding them with cool magic tricks if they were good?)
"...and that's why puppydog ears make the best glove lining. Take notes, there will be a test on this next week."
Apparantly class was just ending by the time Romulus got to the town square. Ash the teacher stepped down from the platform he was standing on, he noticed Romulus in the crowd.
"Oh look, class, we have a special visitor today. To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence, your highness?" he asked, bowing. The children soon did the same, including the girls. Science wasn't wrong about them, so cute!
"So, your highness, what did you think of my class?" the teacher asked, interrupting his adorable thoughts. Well, Romulus hadn't really learnt anything about puppies and gloves in king school (other than that puppies grew into hunting dogs, one of the few classes he had payed attention in), but the teacher had to be competent, right? And it sure sounded to him like it made sense; puppies are soft, gloves should be soft.
"I thought your class was great! But maybe we shouldn't make gloves out of puppies anyway. I mean, they're so cute!" Romulus advised the teacher.
"Thank you, Majesty. I've always had a passion for teaching. When it comes to useful information, you could say I'm full of it. I only wish we had better resources that my lessons might have a greater impact," the teacher replied with a grateful smile. Well, Romulus WAS standing right in front of a merchant's house, maybe she could help?
"I'd be glad to help you! What'd you have in mind?"
The teacher bowed again. He really liked doing that, didn't he? Reminded Romulus of that black-haired guy the kingdom wizard kept inviting over. "Thank you, my Lord, I am ever grateful. If I may make a humble request, the students would benefit greatly from a tour of the castle. Seeing how our land is run would be most educational for them!"
That was a great idea! He could show them how to use a sword and all kinds of stuff! "It's a deal!", he told the teacher, grinning in excitement!
~~~~
Meanwhile, Lili Zwingli was just returning from the woods, where she'd been searching for rare herbs to sell. She had been particularily lucky this time; she had found her way to a ritual held by the tall, blue elves, which happened to leave a bunch of mana stones as a bi-product. That fortune teller she met earlier who promised she'd find great riches was right!
When she returned to her little stands, she found another very unusual thing. The king was standing right there, and when he saw her, he waved her over!
"May I help you, Your Majesty?" she asked him with a small curtsy.
"Yes you can!" the king replied with a smile that told her he was having a good day too. "There's this new teacher around, and he's holding classes for the town children. I want you to get more supplies for him. You know, school stuff."
"Of course I'll help, my Lord," Lili replied in a respectful tone. She did owe her current prosperity to proper schooling after all! Well, it was by her older brother, not an actual school, but the principle was the same. "I will gather the requisite supplies for a proper curriculum. Perhaps your influence will convince more children to attend the classes?"
"Great!" The king patted her on he shoulder and she headed straight to the docks. Her stands would have to stay un-opened for a day or two, she was on a mission from the king himself! She knew of a hidden library a short boat trip away, and books were made to be used, weren't they?
When she had travelled for a while, a terrible pirate ship appeared as if from nowhere and quickly approached the ship that Lili was traveling on. A rhythmic drum beat could be heard and oars tore deep furrows in the ocean as the wicked ship prepared for attack. The crew panicked as Lili stared straight ahead, unable to make a decision at first.
After what felt like hours, she decided this was not the time to play hero of the seas. The current mission was far too important to risk it in the pursuit of fame and fortune. It was better to flee!
But alas, Lili was surprised and reacted too late, which meant that she had no time to turn the ship and flee; she was forced to fight. The two ships clashed in a hurricane of steel, men, swearing and smoke and in the end, none of the sides won. The damaged pirate ship limped off on the waves while Lili and what remained of her crew pondered their good fortune for surviving in the first place.
~~~~
She sure was a nice girl. And Romulus appreciated everyone with a hand in giving him time to spend with children. Especially since that meant time he didn't have to do his boring royal duties on. He should reward her in some way. The teacher would get his new supplies for the school, but what should he get her? She didn't seem like the type for most of the stuff he enjoyed, so what could he get her?
That's when he got an idea. He'd done some reading for once after the war started, and he knew just the thing to get her!
When Romulus returned from the village on his short shopping trip, it was already getting dark. How could the day have gone by so fast? 'Looks like that castle tour has to wait til next day,' he thought as he returned to the castle. Well, he hadn't had any woohooing done today, so he guessed that was a reason as good as any.
The next day, after getting his daily fix of woohoo that night, he decided to go talk to the teacher straight after breakfast. He couldn't wait to show the kids around!
As he promised himself, he went right down to the town square. The teacher and his students was already there too. Didn't these classes take time away from farmwork and stuff like that? But he wasn't a teacher. Or a non-king.
"Excellent, Your Majesty!" the teacher replied when Romulus told him he was ready to take them to the castle. "Children, we are taking a field trip to the castle, I expect exemplary behaviour. Follow me and stay close."
The children flocked around him right away, throwing eager glances at the castle in the distance. So, so cute, so good children! He'd hug them all if he didn't have to worry about dignity and all that stuff!
They soon arrived at the castle and after Romulus had assured his advisor that no, they weren't all his kids, he started showing them stuff like his sword, his throne and his mistresses (although he made sure not to actually tell the children what a mistress was).
"So this is where king Romulus lives, children. Now remember; the dust on the floor here is worth more than your entire home. So don't touch anything or you may find your family working off debt to His Majesty for generations," the teacher said to no-one in particular, although Romulus had a feeling it was practiced. It might've had to do with how he trailed off when Romulus let the children take turns sitting on the throne. After every child had their turn, the teacher cleared his throat.
"Next, we'll take a look at the reception hall. Come along, children. And Amalthea, get your finger out of your nose this instant."
So they continued to the reception hall, and Romulus really hoped the teacher had practiced this, because he really had no idea what to talk about.
"This is the reception hall, where His Majesty meets all the Lords and Ladies of the land and they have grand feasts where more food is thrown away than we're likely to see in a lifetime." Apparently he had. Well, that was good. "Remember, His Majesty worked hard to earn all these luxuaries. If you study hard, maybe someday you can be successful too."
To end his own part of the tour, Romulus gave the children and teacher each a small goblet of wine from the royal oak barrels and playfully clinked his own goblet with them when they wanted to play Lord or Lady.
"Everyone thank His Majesty for the tour," the teacher said after everyone (including himself) had finished their wine. Romulus was surrounded by a bunch of mumbled to cheerful "thanks"es and "thank you"s.
As they left through the large wooden doors, going on their way back to town, Romulus suddenly remembered what Lili told him. He should inspire more children to learn!
~~~~
The library had the perfect book, but the Library Keepers wouldn't give it to her unless she could help them clear out their bookworm infestation. Where would she get bookworm poison? For now, the teacher would have to do without a lesson book.
The other thing the teacher would need was ink. That was a lot easier to get, just a quick trip to the village and everything was taken care of.
Lili soon finished her business in the village, and stocked up a bit on eggs while she was there. When she came back, the class was already just returning from something. Perfect timing.
"Excuse me, sir! I have your teaching supplies here!" she cried out to the teacher, and he looked up at her. "I'm afraid I couldn't get my hand on any good books, but I got some ink. The same kind the monks use too, made from the finest vinegar, copper water, gum and wasp eggs."
"Thank you, miss Zwingli, most helpful!" he said as he took the ink bottles with a grin. "Say, might you acquire another thing for me? The Withering Rose Inn at the village is overrun with mice. I'd love to use them in a lesson. You'd need to catch about five of them."
Catching mice? Wasn't that something new adventurers did until they were strong enough to deal with real monsters? But if there was one thing she'd learnt from her brother (aside from "if they're not there to buy something, don't talk to them or do anything they say") it was that hard work was always worth it if there was profit involved. So off she went to the inn.
~~~~
When Romulus returned to the town square (he'd heard a really hot sorceress was hanging around), he found a kid sitting around, looking for berries among the bushes and distinctly not being in school.
"Hey, kid, aren't you going to be in school? It's royally approved!" he exclaimed, smiling at the kid and giving him a thumbs up that'd put Sir Alfred to shame. The kid grinned back at him.
"I didn't realise we had a school now! That's so neat! I want to learn how to make my own waterwheel when I grow up! I'm gonna build a whole city of water wheels, I'll call it Waterwheel City and I'll live there! I'll go join that class right away!"
With those words, he skipped away and soon joined the other children. Romulus was doing great on this convincing thing! So, Waterwheel City... reminded him of that city of canals he was planning a while back. Maybe he should get back to work on it, he DID have a really good feeling about it.
(Note: According to Wikipedia Venice seems to have been founded sometime during (or after, I don't know exactly when it fell) Roman times, but I'm playing Rome so these totally count as Roman times! Loopholes for the win!)
That's when he decided to go watch the Pit Beast get fed, but on the way he found another child hanging around the small graveyard. That wasn't somewhere you usually saw kids, unless they were daring each other to stay the night.
"What're you doing here? Haven't you heard a school has started in the town square?" he asked her with the same smile as before. But unlike the boy he met earlier, this girl just looked to the side with an expression that reminded Romulus of his advisor.
"I don't like the other kids. They tease me because my parents both died trying to catch a giant buzzard-wasp for my birthday dinner." She sighed. "I wish they were still around. They always knew the best thing to do. 'Cept about the wasp."
Well, that was... tragic. But Romulus wasn't a wizard, so he couldn't do anything about it, and he figured the best way to help her forget it was to get her to join the school. But this girl was probably only going to listen to her parents. So the fact that they were dead was a problem. But once again, what could Romulus do about it?
...Actually, he might've just thought of something.
~~~~
Lili spotted a mouse alone in the middle of the floor. It stared at her and blinked. Luckily, Lili had brought some cheese just for this situation. She placed the cheese on the floor and took a few steps back, opening her arms wide as if to say "All yours, little guy."
Her muscles tensed as the mouse move forwards towards the cheese. Lili lunged forward! The mouse was too quick for her, snatching the cheese before she could stop it. Lili swore she could hear it laughing as it scurried off to hide in the shadows.
~~~~
"What... did His Majesty say he wanted?" the servant girl stammered in confusion.
"A ghost costume! Your king has a brilliant plan to keep a little girl from growing up into a wasp-hating criminal!" Romulus explained to her. This was going to be amazing!
"I... ehm... Yes, my liege, right away!" She did a quick kneel before running off to find his costume.
~~~~
After a quick detour for more cheese (a lot more cheese, just in case), Lili found herself eye to eye with another mouse. Maybe a more direct method would work better...
Lili threw herself towards the mouse, but it slipped away and ran under a pile of boxes. In her wild chase, Lili dove in among the boxes, scattering them in all directions as the mouse tried to find a safe haven. Lili eventually ended up victorious with not just one, but two mice! How did you like that, mice?
~~~~
Since he didn't really having anything to do, Romulus spent some time eating, playing some games and, of course, chatting up the resident female guards.
Finally, his servant returned with his ghost costume and judging by her looks, she'd gone through a real adventure getting it. He liked loyalty like that!
"Here's your ghost costume. Don't ask," she said with a tone that somehow managed to be both flat and threatening at once.
~~~~
Lili saw a mouse peeking out from a hole in the wall. His beady little eyes were locked on the cheese in her hand. She was feeling slightly drunk of her last victory, but she still knew it was a bad idea to just put her hand into random holes in the wall. Who knew what diseases those mice were carrying? So she put the cheese on the floor and waited. Slowly but surely, the mouse came out of its hole and began to nibble the cheese.
"That's right, mister mouse, enjoy the cheese while you can. Your doom is approaching."
Lili struck! The mouse was not prepared for the attack and was soon safe in the bag.
~~~~
Romulus put on his fool-proof ghost costume a short distance from the young girl's hiding place. Now that he had a costume, he could convince the girl he was her father and tell her she should go join the school. And the sun was just starting to go down too, perfect time for a ghost to appear! He revealed himself to the girl and put on his best ghost impression.
"WOOOOO! I am the ghost of your father, little girl! I overheard the powerful, wise and extremely sexy king Romulus from the underworld, and I wanted to tell you that you should totally join the school he mentioned! OoooooooOOOOOOoooo!"
The girl blinked. "But... my father's blond."
"I... uh... I changed my hair colour in the nether, I mean underworld! They have really good baaaarbers!"
"...AAAAAAAAAAH!" the girl screamed. Romulus knew it, his ghost impression had never failed before. Even if this was the first time he was using it. "Dad, you're a ghost! I'll do whatever you say, just don't haunt me!"
She ran towards the town square as fast as her little legs could carry her. Well, that felt like a job well done to Romulus. Proud of himself, he sauntered back to the castle, idly wondering what the servants would make for dinner.
~~~~
Despite her best efforts, Lili couldn't spot any more mice. Wasn't this place supposed to be lousy with them? Lili decided that if she could not find the mice, the mice would come to her. Maybe if she tried to call them to her? With some careful squeaking sounds and intense concentration, she would call them. "Come, my little friends, and feast on the glorious cheese."
Lili imagined herself as a mouse, she thought like a mouse, felt like a mouse and before she knew it, she started squeaking and feeling a craving for cheese. With complete concentration, she called her mouse friends, asking them to come and take part in the glorious feast, but no mice responded to her call. Lili turned around and saw the innkeeper standing there, staring at her while she gave an embarassed laugh.
Well, this only left one final resort. Truth to be told, this was actually her first idea to get them out, but she didn't want to hurt the mice, both out of concern for them and the children. Lili figured out a sneaky strategy: put the cheese on a hook, put the hook on a piece of string, put the string through a tackle, tie the string to a rock and throw the stone on the mouse when it tried to take the cheese. Bam! Instant mousetrap!
With her cunning trap set, Lili awaited her prey. Soon, two mice appeared, smelling the cheese. Lili waited patiently... patiently... and triggered the trap! The mice were caught and Lili could easily put them in the sack. She was finally finished! She only now realised how tired she was feeling, and she looked through the window to see the moon high on the sky. Did she really spend all day catching mice? She'd need to raise her prices a bit to make up for all the lost sales...
(Edit: What scenario you get and what option works is random, so I had to do a bit of save scumming before the trap actually worked. Also, it actually only caught one mouse but I didn't want to bore you with this forever, especially since there are only so many scenarios and choices before I have to start repeating myself.)
But that was a concern for the next day. Right now, she was tired and needed to get to bed. The mice would survive one night.
As she went to pay her taxes the next morning, Lili found a surprise in the messenger post. One of the pidgeons were just barely carrying a bottle marked "bookworm poison", with a note attached that read "So I don't have to pay you - Withered Rose Inn". This was certainly very convenient, she could get that book from the secret library now!
This fit Lili well, she needed to go on a business trip to Crafthole anyway.
After her business was finished, she headed towards the secret library instead. The trip continued without much incident, besides an encounter with a mermaid that was ruined when the crewmembers tried to catch her. Apparently mermaid flesh was supposed to give you magical powers, but Lili really didn't think that was a good excuse.
(Note: Yes, this is the same random event that happened to Vash way back in The Fisherman's Challenge, for those few of you who may remember it. I find it amusing who, of all people, this happens to considering that XD)
But beside the little mermaid mishap, the trip went perfectly and Lili went straight to the Library Keepers and traded the book for the bookworm poison. As she left the building, she could swear she heard scurrying not unlike the mice from the inn and high-pitched screams. That was a VERY big bookworm problem.
She spent the whole trip back to Hetalia reading the book. It really was amazing teaching material for all subjects, with gems of information children might never learn otherwise, like that treacle was an excellent cure for sleeplessness or that storms were caused by people from a cloud country in the sky, who used it as a cover to steal the farmers' crops.
When she'd arrived at her home shore, she once again headed straight towards her goal, home, to pick up the mice (they were still moving, luckily). Of course she wanted to help the children have a good future, but she'd spent far too much time with far too little profit.
Once she arrived at the town square, it was once again getting late and the children were just about to go home.
"I have the mice, and I managed to get the book as well!" she informed the teacher with a proud smile. He gazed in wonder at the book and the barely squirming bag.
"Where did you find this? Remarkable! The children of Hetalia are indebted to you, miss! And these mice! I've been telling the children we would be learning to juggle for a long time and now we'll finally be able to do it! Oh, Watcher bless you!"
Lili giggled. "I'm glad you like them. It's my pleasure to help. Now if you excuse me, I need to inform His Majesty." She did a quick curtsy and headed towards the palace. Provided she didn't need to do anything more, she'd be finished by time for dinner.
She already knew the way to the castle by heart. It was an unofficial law that no commoners were allowed in the castle, but king Romulus never actually enforced it; some said it was because he was so kind to his subjects, more critical people said it was because he never bothered. No matter the reason, it was easy to get into the castle, and almost as easy to get an audience with the king himself.
After asking around, she soon found the king in his chambers. Obviously she would never come in without at the very least knocking, but the door was open and she could see him posing dramatically in front of a mirror.
"Excuse me, Your Highness, but I've finished equipping the teacher with supplies."
The king looked at her and she did a quick curtsy.
"That's great! I knew I could trust you, miss Zwingli!" he exclaimed, patting her on the shoulder. "Actually, I have a little present for you!" He handed the confused Lili a small pipe adorned with blue and yellow lines. "Try blowing it!"
When Lili did...
A large parrot flew through the door (where it was hiding to begin with, she had no idea) and landed on her shoulder! Lili jumped with a small "eep!" as the bird playfully started nibbling her hair.
"It's a Spix macaw!" king Romulus declared, apparently ignorant of the look of shock on Lili's face. "I looked up some of these birds after I got a parrot from Clarisa Blackriver! They say Spix macaws bring good luck, you know! My own parrot always brings me all kinds of stuff, so I thought a merchant like you would like that."
Lili's heartbeat slowed down again once she managed to get the bird to stop (though she lost a few strands of hair in the process). Well, free wares from far away would be useful; she had found that no matter how useless something seemed, there were always someone who wanted it. She'd even managed to sell a dead rat she found once, to the pit beast handler. And besides, who were she to decline a gift from His Royal Majesty himself?
"I... Thank you, Your Majesty!" she got out, still a little stunned from the suddenness of it all.
"Glad you like it! I'm off to ask if the teacher needs anything more!" the king replied, waving offhandedly as he left the room, leaving Lili to fully digest what just happened.
~~~~
"Your Majesty, there is only one more thing you could do to ensure a strong future for education in our kingdom. Write a new law requiring part of the taxes you collect to be used for the schooling of our children."
Well, Romulus could do that! He wasn't really sure what exactly they'd use less money on though, considering they were already using all their tax money. But he had people for that kind of thing, they'd probably think of something.
As he returned to the castle, the sun once again came down. It felt odd that this little adventure had taken three whole days, but it was worth it! He felt a lot less stressed after doing something good for the kingdom children. But a small thought kept nagging in his head, burning its way through his usual thoughts revolving around hunting and ladies. If he couldn't deal with this new war somehow, without picking sides, what would happen to the children? Romulus loved kids, he didn't want to see any hurt! There had to be some way...
~~~~
Well, guys, I hope you enjoyed another quest from little me! You get free chocolate cake if you catch the references I littered over this quest. I'll give you a hint: There's three of them, and they're all references to the same thing.
Also, we're going to do the voting a little differently this time around. We may put a lot of emphasis on the war, but that doesn't change that the ambition we actually have is about quests and reaching platinum level in said quests. Now, obviously, being able to do more quests in one game is good both for the ambition and for bringing you guys more entertainment. As luck would have it, there is actually an annexation quest that lowers the cost for expensive quests. However, we need a Kingball Court for that and if we buy one of those, we won't afford a new hero for next time. But fear not, for I have already a plan for this sort of event. You see, you are the important ones here and I want you to have a say in this little Let's Play.
So this time, you're going to vote for quests. The principle is the same, you pick from a list and (if you want to) tell me in the comments what you voted for. However, this time I will post the names of the available quests and a brief description as provided by the game. You simply pick the one you think seems the most interesting and I will play the one with the most votes! Here are the quests you can pick from:
A Missing Child: Hetalia was abuzz with the news of a child gone missing. Recovering the child safely would be an incredible boon to kingdom morale.
The Rise of a Playwright: A great kingdom need a skilled bard, telling stories of heroic deeds and epic battles. The Kingdom of Hetalia was no exception. Does Francois have what it takes to become a bard whose tales and songs will be remembered through history?
Bric-a-Brac Day: The king of Hetalia felt a sudden craving for a new holiday, and thus, "bric-a-brac day" was born! It was a great treasure hunt that was to be held every year, and the first contest would to start on the very same day. All were invited to participate in the hunt throughout the kingdom. Who would be crowned the best seeker on bric-a-brac day?
War Games: The ancient tradition of military sanctioned contests had reached Hetalia. It was a time filled with excitement and joy. Representatives traveled from all countries to come together and take part in friendly competitions and diplomacy. As host of jousting games, the hopes of victory were very high. Who would be crowned the winner and thus stand as unsurpassed master of the land?
The Legend of the Talking Frog: There had been rumors in Hetalia the past few days about a talking frog named Rana. It wasn't just a new fairytale that had captivated the people of the kingdom. There really was a magical frog somewhere out there. Someone had to find this talking frog!
Take your pick and hopefully we'll be able to return to the war soon enough!
Edit: The poll is now closed.