Sweetly Bitter
Classes started up again this week. The start of a new semester comes with a bit of the excitement of the first day of school. Tiny reminders, smaller versions of feelings I used to have, just barely strong enough to blink me back. Who would have guessed, that in the times we were so unhappy, we were creating moments we would one day miss?
But on the whole the verdict is in, and this is the time and place to be as far as I'm concerned. I can feel my happiness annoying other people ^.^ I try to keep it to myself, wait till I'm prompted. This is something I remember doing. Asking happy people to talk about their happiness, not because I wanted to hear about it, but because I didn't want to appear bitter ... but I was bitter. And I think 20 odd years of bitterness earned me the right to a little happiness without concern for those around me. After three years you honestly start to believe that not everyone gets to be loved, you look in the mirror and think to yourself "maybe I'm not that girl" But I am, and I couldn't be happier.
(Jen Desu is having a field day with my stolen lines up there ^.^)
So work is on, four days a week (please God make season come and make it bigger than last year) class five, ballet and church once. And occasionally I get home before Jon is asleep and occasionally I'm awake before he has to leave ... I kinda miss Christmas Break :-/ But there are things that need to get accomplished because I have places to go in this world.
One of those things seems to be seeing Phantom of the Opra as many times as possible. Jessica and I are going to see it again tonight, it'll be my third time in less than month. They should make more musicals into movies. Yes it's not NEARLY as good as it would be on stage but it's less than $10 and it's just up the street.
But on the whole the verdict is in, and this is the time and place to be as far as I'm concerned. I can feel my happiness annoying other people ^.^ I try to keep it to myself, wait till I'm prompted. This is something I remember doing. Asking happy people to talk about their happiness, not because I wanted to hear about it, but because I didn't want to appear bitter ... but I was bitter. And I think 20 odd years of bitterness earned me the right to a little happiness without concern for those around me. After three years you honestly start to believe that not everyone gets to be loved, you look in the mirror and think to yourself "maybe I'm not that girl" But I am, and I couldn't be happier.
(Jen Desu is having a field day with my stolen lines up there ^.^)
So work is on, four days a week (please God make season come and make it bigger than last year) class five, ballet and church once. And occasionally I get home before Jon is asleep and occasionally I'm awake before he has to leave ... I kinda miss Christmas Break :-/ But there are things that need to get accomplished because I have places to go in this world.
One of those things seems to be seeing Phantom of the Opra as many times as possible. Jessica and I are going to see it again tonight, it'll be my third time in less than month. They should make more musicals into movies. Yes it's not NEARLY as good as it would be on stage but it's less than $10 and it's just up the street.