Fanmix: Worldwalking - "Wake Up In New York"
So, a week or so ago my dear friend/flister/awesomesauce extraordinaire sholio betaed (with aplomb) my recent behemoth of a post-JD fic. And I wanted to thank her. And I'm a liiiittle bit obsessed with her fic. So I made her a fanmix! Which she has given me permission to share! :D
The mix is for her White Collar AU, "trapped in an alternate universe" fic Worldwalking - and its sequel, Five Glimpses Through The Looking Glass. The first half of the mix is supposed to be from six of the different Neals' perspectives in the original fic; and then the second half of the mix re-visits the same Neals, as their eventual fate is revealed.
The music is extremely eclectic - probably moreso than I would usually allow in a fanmix - but it kind of fits, with the concept of taking six different versions of the same person? I chose them based either on lyrics or - in a few cases - on the..."feel" of the song? In some cases, even the unspoken implication of the song. For example, "pillars of salt" is a song in reference to the biblical character Lot, who was allowed to flee Sodom and Gomorrah with his family before the cities were destroyed - on the condition that they not look back as they fled. Lot's wife couldn't resist the urge to see the cities destroyed, looked back, and was turned into a pillar of salt. The whole "couldn't resist looking into the abyss" thing plus the implication of a lost wife made it feel like the right song for that "world"? Yes.
Anyway, I digress. If you haven't read the fics: do! They are amazing. And then come have a listen to the following mix, if you like. :D
Without further adieu:
PART I: WORLDWALKING
01. intro: turning, walking out of the world
[requiem in D minor - john murphy]
" He knows that he's lying. Keller's taken Peter somewhere that no one else can go. No one but Neal.
He composes himself on his bed, faceup, fully clothed. He's not at all sure he can follow. Even if he can do it, he doesn't know if he'll go wherever they went. And maybe they're back already...If he comes back at all. If he hasn't already killed Peter and left the body in another reality.
Neal's hands clench into fists on the bedcovers. One way or another, I'm going to find you. Both of you. If you've killed him, Keller, you can't run far enough or fast enough to get away.
He closes his eyes and slips away. Somewhere else."
02. have a seat, misery - shayfer james
[neal stumbles upon the world where he's still in prison, and calls peter to make contact.]
have a seat, misery
and don't ever mistake me
of all of my friends
you know you are the one I like best
"Peter laughs again. "Unless there's anything else, I have actual work to do. You know, because I'm not in prison."
"Twist the knife," Neal says, but it's a friendly sort of annoyance. "Hey, maybe we'll talk again sometime."
"I'm not going to be your prison pen pal, Neal. No matter how many birthday cards you send."
"We'll see," Neal says, and hangs up so that he gets the last word."
03. light all my lights - seeker lover keeper
[neal comes across a world where kate is alive, and they're married]
Oh, won't you come
won't you light all my lights?
Oh, won't you come
won't you fight all my fights,
fight all my fights?
and we'll all be so strong.
we'll all be so strong.
"Of all the realities he's entered, this is the one he has the hardest time leaving. But...it seems as if his own happiness comes at the expense of most of the other people he cares about.
He doesn't want to believe it's a zero-sum game."
04. satan said dance - clap your hands say yeah
[neal enters the world where peter is dead, and he is still a conman at large]
and i know it is not how you thought it would be
no whips, no chains
just dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing
"It's an unexpected kick in the gut, staring at Peter's obituary on the screen -- like a terrible glimpse of a future in which his search will fail, in which Keller will murder Peter while Neal is still wandering between realities.
This version of Neal has never even heard of Peter, and never been caught."
05. old friends - jen buxton
[for the world in which neal is living in amsterdam, estranged from peter and elizabeth]
and we have lived well through our closed eyes
and all this poorly executed sacrifice
so i guess that old friend
was a small price to pay
"Peter, while not his Peter, sounds delighted to hear from him when Neal calls him, and while Neal only meant to verify Peter's identity and then end the conversation, they end up chatting for almost an hour. Neal secures a promise from Peter to call back later, and when he hangs up the phone, he hopes that his alternate self remembers all of this."
06. pillars of salt - murder by death
[neal discovers a world in which keller killed elizabeth, after kidnapping her, and stumbles upon a suicidal peter]
i made a deal
to get us out of this place
but i am falling apart
with each step that i take
and as the pieces fall
i count them all
"There's a soft, weaponlike click from his right. Neal puts his hands up, and pivots slowly. As his eyes adjust to the dark room, he can make out a human shape on the couch, framed against the diffuse glow from the window. The light glints off the barrel of a gun. Peter shouldn't have his service weapon, since he's on leave, which means he bought another gun -- which strikes Neal as a terrible idea for a whole lot of reasons.
...This is clearly not Neal's Peter, which means he ought to leave. Turn sideways, walk out of the world. Leave Peter sitting alone in the dark, depressed and probably drunk, with Elizabeth gone forever and a gun in his lap.
"I called," Neal says, and clears his throat. "You didn't answer."
It takes Peter a moment to speak, and the words are slow, as if each one is so heavy he can barely pick it up. "Well, now you know I'm here. So --" His voice turns bitter, hard. "-- leave, Neal.""
07. the noose - a perfect circle
[neal finally finds the "real" peter - but it's in a world where his alter self
blames peter for the deaths of kate and mozzie during his arrest, and has teamed up with keller to get revenge on the agent]
and not to pull your halo down
around your neck, and tug you off your cloud;
but i'm more than just a little curious
how you're planning to go about making your amends
to the dead
"In the brighter light upstairs, the bruises on his face are even more evident. Neal has to force himself not to mentally fit the shape of his own knuckles against the livid impressions on Peter's jaw.
He doesn't need to know. He doesn't want to know. "
*
PART II:
BACK THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
01. intro: looking back through parallels
[tense - clint mansell]
""So," Peter says at last, in that casual-but-not-casual way that he has. "Do you think you'll be taking any more unexpected side trips?"
Neal doesn't want to live another Neal's life; he's stolen a lot of things, but that's one thing he knows is not his to take.
"No," Neal says. "This is home." "
02. one more murder - better than ezra
[in the universe where peter was killed before neal could ever meet him,
neal is shot and killed by Wilkes at the age of 29]
one more murder in this town
it don't mean a thing, you get accustomed to the sound
one more murder in this town
don't worry - the rain will wash the chalk-marks from the ground
"It's been a really good run, though. A good life. He lived it to the fullest, had a grand crime spree across three continents, and no one even came close to catching him. He's twenty-nine, and he can't breathe anymore, but he has no regrets."
03. something good [cover] - sarah blasko
[in the universe where neal and kate are married, neal is frightened by the foreign
memories of kate's death, and rushes to make sure she's okay]
for here you are, standing there, loving me
whether or not you should
so somewhere in my youth or childhood
i must have done something good
"Neal sweeps her up in his arms and buries his face in her neck.
"Hello to you too," she says, her voice warm with affection and surprise. Her arms come up to wrap around his back. "What brought this on?"
He just shakes his head against her skin, unable to find the words to explain. He can't even explain it to himself -- the wash of blinding grief that came over him this afternoon, the haunting fear that somewhere out there is a world in which Kate is dead and this life he has come to value so much is a possibility that can never be realized."
04. come visit - holly throsby
[in the universe where neal lives in amsterdam, he reconnects with the burkes,
and invites them to the opening of his new gallery]
i want you to come
across the coast and the seas between us
sills filled with sun
and engines are on
"He doesn't think they'll actually show up. Even when he drives to the airport to pick them up, there's still a part of him that doesn't believe it. He isn't really convinced until they appear out of Dutch Customs: Peter looking relaxed and cheerful in a polo shirt and jeans, Elizabeth all cool and swishy and touristy with a skirt floating around her legs. She's the first one to see him, and a huge grin breaks across her face. Then Peter's grinning too; then Neal is swept up in both their arms, and he's thinking, How did I ever think I could leave these people behind?"
05. spit the dark - empires
[in the universe where neal is peter's "prison pen pal", they strike up the deal with the anklet,
and neal - despite planning to run - can already feel himself wanting to stay]
if hope is a dangerous hole
will you join me?
jump - there's a world of war
will you join me?
""Sure," Neal says easily. No need to make plans yet. And suddenly he's wondering if two years is really such a long time after all."
06. wake up in new york - craig armstrong
[in the universe where neal and keller were in league to get revenge on peter,
neal wakes in a hospital room to find peter by his side, confused as to why he took a bullet for the man]
i know i hurt you
you know you hurt me too
don't you ever want to lie down?
close your eyes and leave the ground
i want to get ahold of you.
"Agent Burke -- Peter -- glances up from the crossword and answers Neal's curious look with a curious look of his own.
Outside the window, the sun is coming up."
07. your hand in mine - explosions in the sky
[years later, in the universe where elizabeth died,
peter and neal rekindle their friendship and decide to work together again.]
"Peter's hand on his is a surprise. Peter's fingers are warm and strong, slightly rough with gun calluses, curling around Neal's, holding on.
"I'd like that," Peter says."
Download File For The Songs: Click Here [Takes You to Mediafire]
As an aside: I'm going to use this mix as a fill, for my darkbingo prompt: "trapped between realities". Yay? Yay!
The mix is for her White Collar AU, "trapped in an alternate universe" fic Worldwalking - and its sequel, Five Glimpses Through The Looking Glass. The first half of the mix is supposed to be from six of the different Neals' perspectives in the original fic; and then the second half of the mix re-visits the same Neals, as their eventual fate is revealed.
The music is extremely eclectic - probably moreso than I would usually allow in a fanmix - but it kind of fits, with the concept of taking six different versions of the same person? I chose them based either on lyrics or - in a few cases - on the..."feel" of the song? In some cases, even the unspoken implication of the song. For example, "pillars of salt" is a song in reference to the biblical character Lot, who was allowed to flee Sodom and Gomorrah with his family before the cities were destroyed - on the condition that they not look back as they fled. Lot's wife couldn't resist the urge to see the cities destroyed, looked back, and was turned into a pillar of salt. The whole "couldn't resist looking into the abyss" thing plus the implication of a lost wife made it feel like the right song for that "world"? Yes.
Anyway, I digress. If you haven't read the fics: do! They are amazing. And then come have a listen to the following mix, if you like. :D
Without further adieu:
PART I: WORLDWALKING
01. intro: turning, walking out of the world
[requiem in D minor - john murphy]
" He knows that he's lying. Keller's taken Peter somewhere that no one else can go. No one but Neal.
He composes himself on his bed, faceup, fully clothed. He's not at all sure he can follow. Even if he can do it, he doesn't know if he'll go wherever they went. And maybe they're back already...If he comes back at all. If he hasn't already killed Peter and left the body in another reality.
Neal's hands clench into fists on the bedcovers. One way or another, I'm going to find you. Both of you. If you've killed him, Keller, you can't run far enough or fast enough to get away.
He closes his eyes and slips away. Somewhere else."
02. have a seat, misery - shayfer james
[neal stumbles upon the world where he's still in prison, and calls peter to make contact.]
have a seat, misery
and don't ever mistake me
of all of my friends
you know you are the one I like best
"Peter laughs again. "Unless there's anything else, I have actual work to do. You know, because I'm not in prison."
"Twist the knife," Neal says, but it's a friendly sort of annoyance. "Hey, maybe we'll talk again sometime."
"I'm not going to be your prison pen pal, Neal. No matter how many birthday cards you send."
"We'll see," Neal says, and hangs up so that he gets the last word."
03. light all my lights - seeker lover keeper
[neal comes across a world where kate is alive, and they're married]
Oh, won't you come
won't you light all my lights?
Oh, won't you come
won't you fight all my fights,
fight all my fights?
and we'll all be so strong.
we'll all be so strong.
"Of all the realities he's entered, this is the one he has the hardest time leaving. But...it seems as if his own happiness comes at the expense of most of the other people he cares about.
He doesn't want to believe it's a zero-sum game."
04. satan said dance - clap your hands say yeah
[neal enters the world where peter is dead, and he is still a conman at large]
and i know it is not how you thought it would be
no whips, no chains
just dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing
"It's an unexpected kick in the gut, staring at Peter's obituary on the screen -- like a terrible glimpse of a future in which his search will fail, in which Keller will murder Peter while Neal is still wandering between realities.
This version of Neal has never even heard of Peter, and never been caught."
05. old friends - jen buxton
[for the world in which neal is living in amsterdam, estranged from peter and elizabeth]
and we have lived well through our closed eyes
and all this poorly executed sacrifice
so i guess that old friend
was a small price to pay
"Peter, while not his Peter, sounds delighted to hear from him when Neal calls him, and while Neal only meant to verify Peter's identity and then end the conversation, they end up chatting for almost an hour. Neal secures a promise from Peter to call back later, and when he hangs up the phone, he hopes that his alternate self remembers all of this."
06. pillars of salt - murder by death
[neal discovers a world in which keller killed elizabeth, after kidnapping her, and stumbles upon a suicidal peter]
i made a deal
to get us out of this place
but i am falling apart
with each step that i take
and as the pieces fall
i count them all
"There's a soft, weaponlike click from his right. Neal puts his hands up, and pivots slowly. As his eyes adjust to the dark room, he can make out a human shape on the couch, framed against the diffuse glow from the window. The light glints off the barrel of a gun. Peter shouldn't have his service weapon, since he's on leave, which means he bought another gun -- which strikes Neal as a terrible idea for a whole lot of reasons.
...This is clearly not Neal's Peter, which means he ought to leave. Turn sideways, walk out of the world. Leave Peter sitting alone in the dark, depressed and probably drunk, with Elizabeth gone forever and a gun in his lap.
"I called," Neal says, and clears his throat. "You didn't answer."
It takes Peter a moment to speak, and the words are slow, as if each one is so heavy he can barely pick it up. "Well, now you know I'm here. So --" His voice turns bitter, hard. "-- leave, Neal.""
07. the noose - a perfect circle
[neal finally finds the "real" peter - but it's in a world where his alter self
blames peter for the deaths of kate and mozzie during his arrest, and has teamed up with keller to get revenge on the agent]
and not to pull your halo down
around your neck, and tug you off your cloud;
but i'm more than just a little curious
how you're planning to go about making your amends
to the dead
"In the brighter light upstairs, the bruises on his face are even more evident. Neal has to force himself not to mentally fit the shape of his own knuckles against the livid impressions on Peter's jaw.
He doesn't need to know. He doesn't want to know. "
*
PART II:
BACK THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
01. intro: looking back through parallels
[tense - clint mansell]
""So," Peter says at last, in that casual-but-not-casual way that he has. "Do you think you'll be taking any more unexpected side trips?"
Neal doesn't want to live another Neal's life; he's stolen a lot of things, but that's one thing he knows is not his to take.
"No," Neal says. "This is home." "
02. one more murder - better than ezra
[in the universe where peter was killed before neal could ever meet him,
neal is shot and killed by Wilkes at the age of 29]
one more murder in this town
it don't mean a thing, you get accustomed to the sound
one more murder in this town
don't worry - the rain will wash the chalk-marks from the ground
"It's been a really good run, though. A good life. He lived it to the fullest, had a grand crime spree across three continents, and no one even came close to catching him. He's twenty-nine, and he can't breathe anymore, but he has no regrets."
03. something good [cover] - sarah blasko
[in the universe where neal and kate are married, neal is frightened by the foreign
memories of kate's death, and rushes to make sure she's okay]
for here you are, standing there, loving me
whether or not you should
so somewhere in my youth or childhood
i must have done something good
"Neal sweeps her up in his arms and buries his face in her neck.
"Hello to you too," she says, her voice warm with affection and surprise. Her arms come up to wrap around his back. "What brought this on?"
He just shakes his head against her skin, unable to find the words to explain. He can't even explain it to himself -- the wash of blinding grief that came over him this afternoon, the haunting fear that somewhere out there is a world in which Kate is dead and this life he has come to value so much is a possibility that can never be realized."
04. come visit - holly throsby
[in the universe where neal lives in amsterdam, he reconnects with the burkes,
and invites them to the opening of his new gallery]
i want you to come
across the coast and the seas between us
sills filled with sun
and engines are on
"He doesn't think they'll actually show up. Even when he drives to the airport to pick them up, there's still a part of him that doesn't believe it. He isn't really convinced until they appear out of Dutch Customs: Peter looking relaxed and cheerful in a polo shirt and jeans, Elizabeth all cool and swishy and touristy with a skirt floating around her legs. She's the first one to see him, and a huge grin breaks across her face. Then Peter's grinning too; then Neal is swept up in both their arms, and he's thinking, How did I ever think I could leave these people behind?"
05. spit the dark - empires
[in the universe where neal is peter's "prison pen pal", they strike up the deal with the anklet,
and neal - despite planning to run - can already feel himself wanting to stay]
if hope is a dangerous hole
will you join me?
jump - there's a world of war
will you join me?
""Sure," Neal says easily. No need to make plans yet. And suddenly he's wondering if two years is really such a long time after all."
06. wake up in new york - craig armstrong
[in the universe where neal and keller were in league to get revenge on peter,
neal wakes in a hospital room to find peter by his side, confused as to why he took a bullet for the man]
i know i hurt you
you know you hurt me too
don't you ever want to lie down?
close your eyes and leave the ground
i want to get ahold of you.
"Agent Burke -- Peter -- glances up from the crossword and answers Neal's curious look with a curious look of his own.
Outside the window, the sun is coming up."
07. your hand in mine - explosions in the sky
[years later, in the universe where elizabeth died,
peter and neal rekindle their friendship and decide to work together again.]
"Peter's hand on his is a surprise. Peter's fingers are warm and strong, slightly rough with gun calluses, curling around Neal's, holding on.
"I'd like that," Peter says."
Download File For The Songs: Click Here [Takes You to Mediafire]
As an aside: I'm going to use this mix as a fill, for my darkbingo prompt: "trapped between realities". Yay? Yay!