Update on most recent events...
I figured it was time for an update since significant things have been going on lately. Today when I got home I got the news that my grandpa is back in the hospital and he might only have a few more days. About a month ago when he first found out about his tumor and all that, they told him he had about 6 months. Now all of a sudden hes really sick and my dad is flying in tomorrow incase he doesnt make it through the night. Chances are he'll go sometime this week and I'll have to fly up there on Saturday for a funeral. Its depressing because I havent gotten to see him since around Thanksgiving or something like that. My grandma is gonna be so heartbroken, it's so sad to think about. Today I was at Northlake with Kyle and my mom called. She was talking so nonchalantly about my grandpa dying, it was actually kind of disturbing. "Oh well while you're there, you should probably look around for something black to wear to the funeral." What the fuck. The whole ordeal is just really depressing. I was talking to Justin about it today and he offered his sympathy and everything. He wants to see me before I go...I guess he thinks I need comforting or something. I could tell by the sound of his voice that he assumes Im gonna be a wreck before and after I go up there. And while it is really sad that he's dying, and I love my grandpa to death, I really don't think Im going to be THAT upset. I'm sure I'll cry and be sad, and sad for my grandma and dad, but I'll be fine. Anyway.
Things with Justin have started progressing... except the other night we had our first like..serious conversation and it really got me thinking. I think it might have just been the way he said it... but I had gone over to see him and I hadnt seen or talked to him in about a week because of conflicting schedules and everything. So we were both excited to be able to see eachother and we were cuddling and watching TV, and he brought up the fact that I'll be leaving soon, and even though 3 months might not be that long of a time period, its still a pretty long time period to allow ourselves to get attached to eachother. We've been dating for a month, and he told me that during the week where we didnt see or talk to eachother, he really missed me and thought about me a lot, and then he said that made him realized he's gotten attached when he told himself he wasnt going to... then he was like "When you go, I don't want be all like "nooo, don't goooo (sad, pitiful voice)....I just wanna be like "::muah:: ok have fun...see ya later." And when he said that it actually kind of hurt my feelings...I think it was just the way he said it though...all like "ok, peace out, nice knowing ya, you dont really mean that much to me anyway..." even though I know thats not REALLY what he meant...but I actually got kind of frustrated and he could definitely tell...then I was thinking to myself "why am I so upset about that?" and then I realized that Ive kind of gotten a little attached too. Its probably just cause we're in that weird first stage where you are really infatuated and you wanna see eachother all the time.... but I dunno....I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FRICKIN DO. Cause if we keep spending time with eachother I know its gonna be hard when I leave. Guuuhh. Its probably a bad thing that I havent really communicated how im feeling about all this with him..... But we're going to a movie with Megan tonight and then probably going back to his place, so im sure we'll talk a little about it then. Although, I should probably sleep here tonight, ive been staying over there too much lately.
But anyway....back to the subject of me leaving this weekend..... I have a MANDATORY pre-departure orientation for Lancaster at school on Saturday from 10 to 5. If I end up going to Pitt I'll miss the orientation which I reaaaalllly like...HAVE to go to, and I dont know if there is an option for a different orientation for these kinds of circumstances or what....but ultimately, if my grandpa dies Im going to Pittsburgh and missing the orientation, duh. I dont want to make my grandpa's funeral (if it ends up being this weekend) sound like a chore or anything like that....but if I miss that orientation its gonna make the next few months a lot harder than they are already going to be, with even more paperwork and organizing and all that bullshit. But whatever. Family DOES come first.
Besides all that depressing, confusing nonsense....summer is almost here, which means everyone will be back in town, and everything is going to be neat cause it'll be summer. Im sooo excited. Natalie will be in town, people will be getting new apartments, and Im looking forward to going to a few concerts, cookouts, and parties, and maybe the beach. Speaking of concerts, Daniel and I are most likely going to the Dave concert on June 20th, lawn seats are $40, if anybody else wants to come along, tailgate, drink some beers, and chill out on the lawn and listen to some dave, maybe smoke a little ganj, then HOLLA BACK. I think it would be neat if we got a group together to go.
Soooo...hmm....I have all As and a C. I have one major project/test left in each class and we're done. I still need to register for CP classes and figure out what to do about my work availability, and finish all these forms for Lancaster.
There's actually a lot more going on in my life at the time being....but I actually have to piss really bad, and Megan is on here way over here so Im gonna go.
Things with Justin have started progressing... except the other night we had our first like..serious conversation and it really got me thinking. I think it might have just been the way he said it... but I had gone over to see him and I hadnt seen or talked to him in about a week because of conflicting schedules and everything. So we were both excited to be able to see eachother and we were cuddling and watching TV, and he brought up the fact that I'll be leaving soon, and even though 3 months might not be that long of a time period, its still a pretty long time period to allow ourselves to get attached to eachother. We've been dating for a month, and he told me that during the week where we didnt see or talk to eachother, he really missed me and thought about me a lot, and then he said that made him realized he's gotten attached when he told himself he wasnt going to... then he was like "When you go, I don't want be all like "nooo, don't goooo (sad, pitiful voice)....I just wanna be like "::muah:: ok have fun...see ya later." And when he said that it actually kind of hurt my feelings...I think it was just the way he said it though...all like "ok, peace out, nice knowing ya, you dont really mean that much to me anyway..." even though I know thats not REALLY what he meant...but I actually got kind of frustrated and he could definitely tell...then I was thinking to myself "why am I so upset about that?" and then I realized that Ive kind of gotten a little attached too. Its probably just cause we're in that weird first stage where you are really infatuated and you wanna see eachother all the time.... but I dunno....I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FRICKIN DO. Cause if we keep spending time with eachother I know its gonna be hard when I leave. Guuuhh. Its probably a bad thing that I havent really communicated how im feeling about all this with him..... But we're going to a movie with Megan tonight and then probably going back to his place, so im sure we'll talk a little about it then. Although, I should probably sleep here tonight, ive been staying over there too much lately.
But anyway....back to the subject of me leaving this weekend..... I have a MANDATORY pre-departure orientation for Lancaster at school on Saturday from 10 to 5. If I end up going to Pitt I'll miss the orientation which I reaaaalllly like...HAVE to go to, and I dont know if there is an option for a different orientation for these kinds of circumstances or what....but ultimately, if my grandpa dies Im going to Pittsburgh and missing the orientation, duh. I dont want to make my grandpa's funeral (if it ends up being this weekend) sound like a chore or anything like that....but if I miss that orientation its gonna make the next few months a lot harder than they are already going to be, with even more paperwork and organizing and all that bullshit. But whatever. Family DOES come first.
Besides all that depressing, confusing nonsense....summer is almost here, which means everyone will be back in town, and everything is going to be neat cause it'll be summer. Im sooo excited. Natalie will be in town, people will be getting new apartments, and Im looking forward to going to a few concerts, cookouts, and parties, and maybe the beach. Speaking of concerts, Daniel and I are most likely going to the Dave concert on June 20th, lawn seats are $40, if anybody else wants to come along, tailgate, drink some beers, and chill out on the lawn and listen to some dave, maybe smoke a little ganj, then HOLLA BACK. I think it would be neat if we got a group together to go.
Soooo...hmm....I have all As and a C. I have one major project/test left in each class and we're done. I still need to register for CP classes and figure out what to do about my work availability, and finish all these forms for Lancaster.
There's actually a lot more going on in my life at the time being....but I actually have to piss really bad, and Megan is on here way over here so Im gonna go.