Don't Leave Home*
You may not be aware of this, but the_original1 is a stay at home dad. It just worked out best for us. We're trying to change that now, which is difficult enough with the economy the way it is, but it's even worse because people still have bad attitudes about men who stay home. He's complained about being in conversations where someone will ask a woman what she does for a living, and she'll say she stays home with the kids. "Oh, you're so lucky," is a common response. Then the exact same person will ask what he does, and what he hears is, "Well, I'm sure you'll find a job sometime." If it isn't that, he gets cold-shouldered, as if he's being lazy and not contributing.
This is a pretty good opinion piece on stay at home dads. The number of positive comments (at least on the first page, I didn't look any further) are amazing, considering how rarely we get that kind of reaction when we "confess" about our situation.
It's very frustrating, for both of us. When we were in high school, my best friend always said she wanted a house husband. She'd go to work, and leave him at home to do the housework and raise the kids . . . and yet she often acts like the_original1 is sitting at home eating bon-bons. (Granted, some of that may be leftover resentment of a loser boyfriend I had before the_original1, but we've been married for over twelve years now, shouldn't she be past that?) My mom will say things sometimes that make it sound like she thinks I do everything and he does nothing. I don't do laundry. I don't do dishes. I don't mow the lawn or shovel the driveway and sidewalks, even.
Not only does he do most of the housework, but he's been trying to find a job for the last several years. When a woman says that she's been unemployed for a long time because she stayed home to raise the kids, it doesn't seem to affect her employability, but if a man says that? There must be something wrong with him. It is unfair and ridiculous. Whatever happened to "male privilege"?
*"Don't Leave Home," Dido
This is a pretty good opinion piece on stay at home dads. The number of positive comments (at least on the first page, I didn't look any further) are amazing, considering how rarely we get that kind of reaction when we "confess" about our situation.
It's very frustrating, for both of us. When we were in high school, my best friend always said she wanted a house husband. She'd go to work, and leave him at home to do the housework and raise the kids . . . and yet she often acts like the_original1 is sitting at home eating bon-bons. (Granted, some of that may be leftover resentment of a loser boyfriend I had before the_original1, but we've been married for over twelve years now, shouldn't she be past that?) My mom will say things sometimes that make it sound like she thinks I do everything and he does nothing. I don't do laundry. I don't do dishes. I don't mow the lawn or shovel the driveway and sidewalks, even.
Not only does he do most of the housework, but he's been trying to find a job for the last several years. When a woman says that she's been unemployed for a long time because she stayed home to raise the kids, it doesn't seem to affect her employability, but if a man says that? There must be something wrong with him. It is unfair and ridiculous. Whatever happened to "male privilege"?
*"Don't Leave Home," Dido