10:31
It's Sunday night and my first day of my last finals week starts tomorrow. We're not thinking about that right now. We will use the royal "we" for the rest of this post. We could also be legion; we are many - full of that is. We are full of many thoughts, many feelings, many reasons to be stressed, many wishes that there was some safe place to go run and hide so that we would not have to face the nastiness inflicted upon us by professors whose sole desire it is to construct traps for us to fall into here and there and everywhere until every ounce of our energy and will to survive has been expended in our efforts to either avoid or crawl out of whatever intellectual pothole is trying to swallow us whole. We are so many, many students right now. We are one unified body riddled with caffeine shakes and crawling skin and stomachs feeling wrenched and clenched but yet still large enough to hold a thousand violent birds.
We are one; we are many. We are students bumming adderall at the dinner table. We are students sucking down cigarettes as fast as we can so that we can hurry up and calm down and then get back to work. We are playing video games because life seems far more simple when our goal is to accumulate weaponry rather than vocabulary for the purposing of killing a creature instead of having to name its parts. We are asleep because at least giving up means rest. We are awake because rest means giving up. We are soldiers pushing our bodies and minds to the very limit of their endurance.
We are legion; we are stressed.
In my defense, I have no idea where that came from. It was kind of cool though.... talk about productive procrastination.
Anyway, expect detailed accounts of my two days of finals week. One of the important things that keeps my mind functioning while I'm pumping out papers like the Octo-mom pumps out future victims of neglect is the occasional mental break afforded to me by emptying the excess mental creosote clogging my thought channels through some other form of writing - such as blogging! Since I have a difficult time switching from one task to another, taking breaks can often be more detrimental than anything else to my progress on important projects. When writing papers, I've found that if I get up for only a slight moment to stretch my limbs, take a few deep breaths, and then return to some other form of writing, I can easily transition back into the original project with a fresh mind set. So, since I worked myself brainless trying to construct a concise, direct, argument formed around a mindlessly complex thesis, I'm now giving my brain a well deserved break and updating this thing... for once.
Today was productive but centered around accomplishing substitutions to the real tasks I was supposed to be taking care of. My room is a heinous mess and has been that way for an incredibly long period of time. It's gotten so bad that it has begun to stretch to Anneliese's side of the room. Cleaning it has been on my to-do list for ages since I still can't set my computer on my desk let alone sit in front of it due to the fact that my desk chair has become yet another receptacle for all of my junk. I've been meaning to clean it for ages. Did I do it?
No. I cleaned the bathroom. Yes children, I got down on all fours and scrubbed our poor excuse for a bathtub until it shown white. I even bleached it. Then I swept and mopped the floor, scrubbed down the counter around the sink, dusted the toilet that only flushes occasionally, and set the bathmats out on the fire-escape to soak up some ozone. Why? Because spending an hour and a half covered in Comet sounded far more interesting than putting my clothes away. What will Sonja be doing Wednesday? Cleaning like a madwoman.
Well, this probably enough for now. Expect more shortly. I have very little brain left to my disposal.
We are one; we are many. We are students bumming adderall at the dinner table. We are students sucking down cigarettes as fast as we can so that we can hurry up and calm down and then get back to work. We are playing video games because life seems far more simple when our goal is to accumulate weaponry rather than vocabulary for the purposing of killing a creature instead of having to name its parts. We are asleep because at least giving up means rest. We are awake because rest means giving up. We are soldiers pushing our bodies and minds to the very limit of their endurance.
We are legion; we are stressed.
In my defense, I have no idea where that came from. It was kind of cool though.... talk about productive procrastination.
Anyway, expect detailed accounts of my two days of finals week. One of the important things that keeps my mind functioning while I'm pumping out papers like the Octo-mom pumps out future victims of neglect is the occasional mental break afforded to me by emptying the excess mental creosote clogging my thought channels through some other form of writing - such as blogging! Since I have a difficult time switching from one task to another, taking breaks can often be more detrimental than anything else to my progress on important projects. When writing papers, I've found that if I get up for only a slight moment to stretch my limbs, take a few deep breaths, and then return to some other form of writing, I can easily transition back into the original project with a fresh mind set. So, since I worked myself brainless trying to construct a concise, direct, argument formed around a mindlessly complex thesis, I'm now giving my brain a well deserved break and updating this thing... for once.
Today was productive but centered around accomplishing substitutions to the real tasks I was supposed to be taking care of. My room is a heinous mess and has been that way for an incredibly long period of time. It's gotten so bad that it has begun to stretch to Anneliese's side of the room. Cleaning it has been on my to-do list for ages since I still can't set my computer on my desk let alone sit in front of it due to the fact that my desk chair has become yet another receptacle for all of my junk. I've been meaning to clean it for ages. Did I do it?
No. I cleaned the bathroom. Yes children, I got down on all fours and scrubbed our poor excuse for a bathtub until it shown white. I even bleached it. Then I swept and mopped the floor, scrubbed down the counter around the sink, dusted the toilet that only flushes occasionally, and set the bathmats out on the fire-escape to soak up some ozone. Why? Because spending an hour and a half covered in Comet sounded far more interesting than putting my clothes away. What will Sonja be doing Wednesday? Cleaning like a madwoman.
Well, this probably enough for now. Expect more shortly. I have very little brain left to my disposal.