(no subject)
Generally I dont touch this more personal, serious stuff, but this has gone out of hand. I thought everything was going OK, not spectacular by any means, but I didn't think it was a huge problem. Then all the sudden theres an lj post and I lose 3 friends? I dont know how the division happened. Its just who was willing and with whom. I spent a at least a little bit of time with all, but apparently it wasn't enough? Not that anyone cares anyway, maybe cares enough to talk about it, but not to do anything about it. I guess I took my turn back in '03.
We were all sitting in the band room at the end of last year and I told you all this would happen, and you got upset at me, and told me not to say it, because it wouldn't happen.
...ya.
I can be fake with her, we do it a lot, it works. Its a love hate relationship and we know it. But I can't pretend its OK with you, I never have and probably never will. It wasn't easy to have to pull away, or hold back, because I knew you wouldn't have it. Then it was just an act, but now has the act some how slipped in reality? I dont even know whats what anymore, do I even know you?
We're all just going where its safe. I honestly think thats it. Where I am, I know its not a competition, I'm not being judged, I dont have to think about what I'm going to say next, I'm being loved unconditionally and not because they "like" me, but because they honest to goodness CARE.